Married too long stale oh well

33 years. stale like stale bread. Tried to get things going but too long in the tooth. . . Talked about separation not in the works, but living like strangers in the same place. courteous to one another.

Do you think it’s a chance to change things around?
Sucks when relationships start to dry up.

“Tried to get things going....” On your end, the other person’s end? What sorts of things have been tried? At least you are courteous to each other, beats constantly arguing and fighting. 33 years is a long time to be together - it would be a pity to give up on it now.

Are you guys just bored of each other? Or is there some resentment there?. If its the former, maybe try doing some activities together?. That way you will have some new experiences to talk about.

If nothing works then maybe a trial separation is in order. I can't vouch for its effectiveness that much but it did work for my parents.

ringwood said:

“Tried to get things going....” On your end, the other person’s end? What sorts of things have been tried? At least you are courteous to each other, beats constantly arguing and fighting. 33 years is a long time to be together - it would be a pity to give up on it now.

Click to expand...

These are good questions, but I also want to ask how long did you try.  If things have been stale for a while, it will likely take a good bit of time and multiple efforts to get things moving again.  If you love her and she loves you, keep trying.  It's worth it.

Reallytishappening said:

33 years. stale like stale bread. Tried to get things going but too long in the tooth. . . Talked about separation not in the works, but living like strangers in the same place. courteous to one another.

Click to expand...

When you are in a relationship that long and it becomes stale, then you either got to make the decision if it is worth fighting for and you still love each other or agree to move on... I know this from my own personal experience and I decided to move on after 19 years.. I will say it is always difficult to make that move and it can be hurtful.. no matter the circumstance..

I don't know whether to tell you 'fight for it - because, coming from someone who has never had the privilege of experiencing the joys of romantic relationships - it's better than being lonely and having nobody to wake up next to every morning'. Or to tell you 'there's no point being in a relationship that you think is 'stale like stale bread'.

Hmmm...I just pray that you make the right choice

Reallytishappening said:

33 years. stale like stale bread. Tried to get things going but too long in the tooth. . . Talked about separation not in the works, but living like strangers in the same place. courteous to one another.

Click to expand...

There's a part of me that wishes I had your problem.  I'd be glad to have a 33 year history with someone special "for better or worse".  I think it's great that at least you seem to be civil to each other.  That's gotta count for something.  I hope you can find your way back together but if not, at least try to keep it as amicable as possible.  Best wishes to you.

I've been married a really long time too nearly 200 years. Thinking back one of the things that  has probably kept us together is the constant drama /struggle that life involves. It's never been boring and a good fair chunk has been created by me my other half being the stabling influence pretty much the whole time except when it has been required of me. That and the constant flow of kids/grandkids and the need to pull together to bring them up.I'm looking forward to when it all calms down and just chill with the wife but I'll probably get on her nerves too much then so who knows what will happen.Do you have much drama in your life ?

Any relationship this long is going to go through this stage.

I would ask; where's the gratitude? So many people want this deep down. If it's gone this far, it's worth working for. To mention that 'separation talks are not yet in the works' without mentioning what has yet been discussed and tried seems sad. If you've grown distant then it's because one or both of you has dropped the ball somewhere.

How is it that some people make it through this inevitability and others do not? Effort? Communication?

Why don't you tell us what's missing OP?