Complex loneliness

Hello fellow loners! 

It’s nice to have somewhere to turn for venting and suggestions, so I appreciate this forum and its’ goals. 

My name is Laura. I’m almost 41. My bday is next week and it’s, simply put, the hardest time of year for me. 

I’m typically an extrovert with occasional bursts of introversion. I’m loud and funny and have been a social butterfly since I was little. But as I get older I think the extroversion I used to feel alot more was actually armor. I was taught that if you’re funny and goofy then you’ll get positive attention, so I think I donned that armor hoping it would result in getting positive attention. But that armor didn’t give me the attention I really wanted, and now I’m struggling to even know myself. I’m excruciatingly introverted now, and have been for over a year.

Today, during a week of national holiday, the beginning of the busy shopping season, and the week before my stupid bday, I’m feeling so so alone and lonely. My husband does his best, but he’s quite lonely as well, so life is kind of “blah” for both of us right now.

I’m hoping to connect with some lovely spirits out there in the world, and be reminded that truly I’m not alone. Thanks for reading!  Laura in Utah, USA

Hello.
Good on you for reaching out on this forum.
I like it here. Good poeple everywhere it seems.

Have a nice weekend.

Welcome to the forum.

Hey, welcome. I can relate to what you're saying, i hope you have a nice birthday soon regardless!

Hello and welcome. This is a rough time of the year for a lot of us. There are plenty of good people here. I hope you find it helpful and fun.

Welcome to this place .And I am also new here.
See you around.good luck.

Hi Laura,

I am struggling to know myself too. I am quiet, introverted, and people often tell me that I am funny, which makes me wonder if they wouldn't like me if I wasn't funny. I like to talk about serious things too, and I never seem to get the chance to do that with my friends because of this focus people have on being funny. Another thing people tell me is that I am selfless. While it's a great compliment, being selfless makes it hard for me to do things that benefit myself, as I am always thinking about other people's needs.

I recently turned 21, but I was in no mood to celebrate my birthday. I expect to have a better time when I turn 22. Best wishes for your birthday next year, if you'd rather avoid this year's birthday altogether.

I hope Thanksgiving Day went well for you.

Welcome to the forum.