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Does anyone have a tough time letting go of past hurts?
#1
So,

Long story short, I did mention this on another thread, but I thought I'd explain it again.  In the summer I joined this whatsapp group through this girl I met online on the meetup website.  We had a couple of meetups - met up on two occasions - once for pizza and again for games.

Anyway, I said something on the main whatsapp group that got me booted without getting a chance to explain that what I said was in no way malicious (something about people who join but never post).  This girl who I had an online 'pen pal' type friendship over the summer period abruptly blocked all contact with me.

I had actually got her out of my mind, but I was at work today - on my induction - and my mind started to wonder when it got a bit quiet.  This girl just popped up in my head, and I started to feel sad about what had happened in September.

Does anybody else have this problem where they seem to ruminate over someone they've lost contact with? What do you do to deal with it?
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#2
Maybe a little tiny bit.
Nowhere near to the extent of my current heartache.
My first major heartache.
I've been dumped, cheated, used, never really got me down.
So I'm interested in how anyone deals with this.
Still not sure if I got I'll because I'm down, or down because I'm ill.
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#3
Depends on what the hurt is. Some hurt more than others and yeah those are hard to let go of. It takes a lot of time and determination to get over some.
_______________________________________________________________________
Sickos never scare me. Least they're committed.  
Never Give Up!  Never Surrender!

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#4
Like Sci-Fi said, it takes time, depending on the intensity/severity of the hurt.

To make it easier for me, I try my best to remove all reminders of that person form my life. Sometimes you can't though coz it's family/colleague so I just distract myself/ignore/avoid. After awhile you'll move on.
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#5
Absolutely. I stopped going on meetup cos I kept being reminded of this group. But I'm trying to tell myself that they weren't all that. The only scar they've left me with is an intensified fear of saying something that others will misperceive as offensive.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#6
I obsess about past hurts and I get anxious going outside in case I see anyone from my past. It just adds another restriction to my life so I really need to stop doing it.

Maybe don't give up on MeetUp. There may be another group or event to join that means you find new people to socialise with and helps you move forward from what happened with the last group or find a local club/class to attend. x
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#7
Thanks for the advice, everyone.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#8
I've had that, too. I found it got a little better if I would let myself go over it, rethink how it played out, and then move to a different mental track. Losing friends will probably always sting a little when you think about it because you cared. Things also improved once I had more people to talk to, so one fallout didn't seem as bad.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
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#9
As it happened I dreamed about the girl that introduced me to the group last night - it was like the fallout never happened. Now she's back on my mind again. Sad Trying my best not to dwell on it though.

I feel silly for caring this much because it's not like I've lost a lifelong best friend or divorced from a thirty year marriage.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#10
(12-01-2018, 11:21 AM)Sci-Fi Wrote: Depends on what the hurt is. Some hurt more than others and yeah those are hard to let go of. It takes a lot of time and determination to get over some.

This really.

While I can talk about my dad who has passed on quite easily now and in a more neutral manner, if certain memories hit me it does still get the waterworks going. It's been 12 years since. I can still feel the hurt.

Another example is something work-related, might not seem like much but it was really painful for me. I was really hurt by a certain situation, and while I'm really over it, I realise I choked and couln't talk or I'd start tearing when another colleague asked me about my experience then. And that incident was months ago.
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