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Does anyone have a tough time letting go of past hurts?
#11
(11-30-2018, 02:55 AM)hewhowalksalone Wrote: So,

Long story short, I did mention this on another thread, but I thought I'd explain it again.  In the summer I joined this whatsapp group through this girl I met online on the meetup website.  We had a couple of meetups - met up on two occasions - once for pizza and again for games.

Anyway, I said something on the main whatsapp group that got me booted without getting a chance to explain that what I said was in no way malicious (something about people who join but never post).  This girl who I had an online 'pen pal' type friendship over the summer period abruptly blocked all contact with me.

I had actually got her out of my mind, but I was at work today - on my induction - and my mind started to wonder when it got a bit quiet.  This girl just popped up in my head, and I started to feel sad about what had happened in September.

Does anybody else have this problem where they seem to ruminate over someone they've lost contact with? What do you do to deal with it?

Yeah this has happened to me in the past. I had feelings for someone and they didn't feel the same way for me in the end, which hurt me a lot. I got upset and cried it out. Afterwards I wrote down my thoughts. What I learned from it and how I can move on past it. So I can understand the hurt you felt when she blocked you. It's normal for those thoughts to pop back in your head. You could put yourself back out there again, but when your ready. From time to time, I think about people too who lost contact with me. Try to do anything you can to distract yourself in the meantime. Trust me, you're not alone. Smile
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#12
Thanks, Soft Melodies. It's good to know that I'm not alone.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#13
This is my biggest burden in life
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#14
This SO applies to me today. Without being boring about details, a past relationship ended in a bad and unfortunate way. I erased every trace of her from my life, buried the feelings, and never addressed them. Upon trying to revisit in therapy, every dark and painful emotion has come screaming back like it happened yesterday. I pretty much feel numb now and don’t know how process things, but it is sort of clear that burying these feelings again is a bad idea.

Maybe try allowing yourself to feel the hurt for a little bit, and acknowledge you are human and allowed to feel. Don’t be too hard on yourself, we are all flawed human beings trying to make our way through this crazy life.
Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is the ability to act in spite of fear. 
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#15
Appreciate it. Smile
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#16
(12-02-2018, 06:45 AM)Tealeaf Wrote: I've had that, too. I found it got a little better if I would let myself go over it, rethink how it played out, and then move to a different mental track. Losing friends will probably always sting a little when you think about it because you cared. Things also improved once I had more people to talk to, so one fallout didn't seem as bad.

Meeting new people or doing new things is always the best way to alleviate some of the hurt from losing things, I find.
[Image: giphy.gif]
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#17
It's always nice to hear fresh advice. E.N.S. - loving the anime photo, by the way.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#18
Yes I struggle with letting go of the past mostly because I believe these experiences are indicative of my large issues. In the past I’ve grown close to people only to be discarded. This is pretty much standard operating procedure for my social interactions. The sad part is that I don’t initiate these interactions I don’t I guess I’m seen as a pawn to manipulate for amusement.
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#19
Trouble is some people discard you without giving a thought about how they're making you feel. That's what I find, anyway. I don't believe that the girl on that whatsapp group took pleasure in hurting me - she just didn't care enough about me to handle it in a more compassionate way - maybe she could have let me know how what I said had made her feel, rather than simply cutting me off the way she did.

Lonewolf, what gives you the impression that people find amusement in your 'discardment'?
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#20
(02-28-2019, 06:53 PM)hewhowalksalone Wrote: Trouble is some people discard you without giving a thought about how they're making you feel.  That's what I find, anyway.  I don't believe that the girl on that whatsapp group took pleasure in hurting me - she just didn't care enough about me to handle it in a more compassionate way - maybe she could have let me know how what I said had made her feel, rather than simply cutting me off the way she did.

Lonewolf, what gives you the impression that people find amusement in your 'discardment'?

I always find myself in this situation and I’m not even given the courtesy of an explanation or even rejection.
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