What is your inner darkness?

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What is your inner darkness?

  • Anger

    Votes: 7 33.3%
  • Jealousy

    Votes: 4 19.0%
  • Greed

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Revenge

    Votes: 1 4.8%
  • Other

    Votes: 9 42.9%

  • Total voters
    21

user 150037

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Studies show we all have an inner darkness. What is yours?

Mine is jealousy.  I see happy couples, or groups of friends laughing together, I feel that tug inside of me.  I know that I shouldn't.  I know that those people are (most likely) well deserving of their happiness.

What is yours?
 
I get angry whenever I hear anything overly egocentric. Especially if it's advice. That and blatant, self-aware, hypocrisy. In short, any type of bullying in the guise of ANYTHING. It'd sometimes have my blood boil but never to the point of violence. Always be humble, and never let your conditioning get the better of you. Try to always keep an open mind otherwise how are you any different than what you hate?
 
I do not feel Anger or Jealousy or Greed or Revenge.
These emotions died.
All I feel is tiredness, apathy and inner emptiness.

I see happy couples, or groups of friends laughing together, I feel that tug inside of me.
When I see such a picture I feel nothing.
I am too detached, too indifferent.
All their happiness is too remote from me.
I do not care.
 
Paul Bauman said:
I do not feel Anger or Jealousy or Greed or Revenge.
These emotions died.
All I feel is tiredness, apathy and inner emptiness.

I see happy couples, or groups of friends laughing together, I feel that tug inside of me.
When I see such a picture I feel nothing.
I am too detached, too indifferent.
All their happiness is too remote from me.
I do not care.

I wish I could stop caring. I see a couple walking holding hands, I just want to ride a motorcycle between them and laugh as they fly off at either directions.

*evil laugh*
 
Anger. Red, hot anger that I can barely contain. The day I don't is the day bad things happen to everone for a long time. Anger isn't even right. It's rage.
 
My ballistic temper.Hasn't reared it's ugly head for a good few years now because I saw one of my kids copying it so that was that I had to control it.Always about once a month I would just go mental see red just like my father, I'm ashamed now thinking back that I couldn't see it coming but when things got too much..snap I'd smash something or punch a wall and then storm off.Last time I think smashing up my new kitchen I had just installed .That and my kid copying combined somehow brought me to realise I had to change.life is easier now with not so much pressure which helps.
 
Other/Anger?

I had rage problems when I was a kid. My family is both highly dysfunctional AND poor.
I've calmed down a lot in my age though. I'm definitely not as angry as I was when I was younger. Bitter, I think is probably the better word for it. My hermeticism and social reclusion is sort of a result of my developmental misanthropy. But I've...gotten to where I actually enjoy people, I just don't trust anyone anymore, is all.

And, Other, because I'm a huge H.P. Lovecraft fan, who's basically the godfather of the science fiction/horror genre. I've seen a lot of horror movies as I'm a horror movie buff. Slashers, gore flicks, cult classics, noir horror, but nothing is as horrifying as Lovecraft's stories.
 
How do I mark all of them?

Every chunk of my life, based on my actions and the patterns I've established at the time, could be described with 1 of those words.

Raised up in a rich home, I gave in to greed.
Then, when I've lost everything as I was just about to enter my adolescence, all I could think of was revenge against those who destroyed my life.
During my young adulthood, that lust for vengeance turned into generic, unfocused anger.
Finally, as an adult, I became bitter and jealous.

And now, as I'm slowly getting ready for my final goodbyes, for the first time in my life - I'm free of it all. I'm finally at peace with myself.
 
I would say I experience more anxiety but, somehow, all my negative emotions get converted to anger. Then I punch a wall, throw stuff around, scream, etc...
 
What are you classing as inner darkness? Does regret count? I regret not doing or having done things I wish I had done differently to the point where it will keep me up at night and depressed.
 
My inner darkness i think is my slowness, speech and it also takes a min to pick something up or put it down, and if I try to do that at normal speed either the book falls or the pen or we all fall LOL. I don't rush or hasty, but funny enough I'm great at racing, and climbing stairs two steps at a time.. XD
 
Jealously for me....

I feel jealous of people who have it all together financially, and don't live pay check to pay check
 
Sci-Fi said:
What are you classing as inner darkness?  Does regret count?  I regret not doing or having done things I wish I had done differently to the point where it will keep me up at night and depressed.

I think regret does count but it depend how you regret. Can regret positively or negatively. Like despair. I regret having regrets to regret about  :p
 
Sci-Fi said:
What are you classing as inner darkness? Does regret count? I regret not doing or having done things I wish I had done differently to the point where it will keep me up at night and depressed.

I probably have the wrong idea of what 'inner darkness' means. I always thought of inner darkness being something about my personality that causes me shame or guilt. Or maybe, yeah, just something that impacts me negatively.
 

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