Alone and want to reach out, but can't

Jessicat said:

*wave* 
I feel nice and safe behind my keyboard too.
Good on you for reaching out.
Welcome!

Click to expand...

hewhowalksalone said:

To quote Micheal Jackson's song - you are not alone.

I have minimal family but to be honest - I spend a day at my brother's, then I'm glad to be back in my bedroom - embracing my solitude.  I'm the same when I go on family holidays.

As for friends - I find it's too much work trying to gain other people's approval. Don't get me started on girlfriends. But, yes, you are not alone.  Welcome to 'a lonely life' - where people can be alone together.

Click to expand...

DeepTxWater said:

I can understand. When I was younger I had quite a few good friends but I always had to force myself to interact with them simply because deep down I really didn't want to be around people.  Being alone is where I've always felt safest.
Plenty of kind intelligent people here. I hope you find it helpful. Welcome!

Click to expand...

lovetodance2018 said:

Welcome lostinmusic, we are so glad you reached out here.  I also feel more comfortable behind a keyboard.  First it is helps get my thoughts out before interacting (reading what I write before sending it) and second it doesn't give immediate responses or actions.

I have recently moved and it is hard to find friends. So I understand about feeling alone.  I have found it helps to find common interests with others.  I have joined groups with activities I like.  Then we have something to chat about.  For me it is a group called English Country Dancing.  I also attend church and part of a small group.  I know it is hard to reach out and open up but we are designed to be social and interact with others.  We all crave that but don't want to deal with let down or hurt.  Please continue reaching out here.  We are here for you. You also might enjoy listing to this podcast.   I will be praying for you.  Please keep in touch.  Hugs and Blessings!

Click to expand...

lostinmusic said:

Hello

I'm new here and would like to try and connect with people.

I struggle with social anxiety and I'm isolated. I don't have friends or contact with any family members. I'm struggling to stay in work, as I'm so socially awkward and feel like the weirdo nobody wants around, so end up leaving.
Basically I'm a mess  :club:

I'd really like to try and get out and meet people, but find it difficult to get out and do it as I'm scared to death. It feels nice and safe behind my keyboard 

Take care

have you got Asperger's syndrome

Click to expand...

lostinmusic said:

DeepTxWater said:

I can understand. When I was younger I had quite a few good friends but I always had to force myself to interact with them simply because deep down I really didn't want to be around people.  Being alone is where I've always felt safest.
Plenty of kind intelligent people here. I hope you find it helpful. Welcome!

Click to expand...

Thank you DeepTxWater. If I could move into the middle of nowhere I would, but we all have to interact with people at some point. I'm trying to force myself out of my comfort zone, so it doesn't come as a shock 

---

lovetodance2018 said:

Welcome lostinmusic, we are so glad you reached out here.  I also feel more comfortable behind a keyboard.  First it is helps get my thoughts out before interacting (reading what I write before sending it) and second it doesn't give immediate responses or actions.

I have recently moved and it is hard to find friends. So I understand about feeling alone.  I have found it helps to find common interests with others.  I have joined groups with activities I like.  Then we have something to chat about.  For me it is a group called English Country Dancing.  I also attend church and part of a small group.  I know it is hard to reach out and open up but we are designed to be social and interact with others.  We all crave that but don't want to deal with let down or hurt.  Please continue reaching out here.  We are here for you. You also might enjoy listing to this podcast.   I will be praying for you.  Please keep in touch.  Hugs and Blessings!

Click to expand...

Thank you for the lovely post, hugs and blessings. 

I couldn't agree more about the interacting with others. I've thought about trying jobs where I don't have to deal much with people, but I think it will make my situation worse. I've built some pretty high, thick walls and it's hard for me to trust people, but I really would like to again.

Thanks for the link to the podcast. I'll take a look.

I hope you enjoy your dancing and church group.

Hugs!

Click to expand...

lovetodance2018 said:

lostinmusic said:

DeepTxWater said:

I can understand. When I was younger I had quite a few good friends but I always had to force myself to interact with them simply because deep down I really didn't want to be around people.  Being alone is where I've always felt safest.
Plenty of kind intelligent people here. I hope you find it helpful. Welcome!

Click to expand...

Thank you DeepTxWater. If I could move into the middle of nowhere I would, but we all have to interact with people at some point. I'm trying to force myself out of my comfort zone, so it doesn't come as a shock 

---

lovetodance2018 said:

Welcome lostinmusic, we are so glad you reached out here.  I also feel more comfortable behind a keyboard.  First it is helps get my thoughts out before interacting (reading what I write before sending it) and second it doesn't give immediate responses or actions.

I have recently moved and it is hard to find friends. So I understand about feeling alone.  I have found it helps to find common interests with others.  I have joined groups with activities I like.  Then we have something to chat about.  For me it is a group called English Country Dancing.  I also attend church and part of a small group.  I know it is hard to reach out and open up but we are designed to be social and interact with others.  We all crave that but don't want to deal with let down or hurt.  Please continue reaching out here.  We are here for you. You also might enjoy listing to this podcast.   I will be praying for you.  Please keep in touch.  Hugs and Blessings!

Click to expand...

Thank you for the lovely post, hugs and blessings. 

I couldn't agree more about the interacting with others. I've thought about trying jobs where I don't have to deal much with people, but I think it will make my situation worse. I've built some pretty high, thick walls and it's hard for me to trust people, but I really would like to again.

Thanks for the link to the podcast. I'll take a look.

I hope you enjoy your dancing and church group.

Hugs!

Click to expand...

---

I will be praying for the walls that hold you back from trusting people.  My husband has struggled with that for years.  It is not easy, but trusting God first helps with learning to slowly become open to relationships again.  Here is another podcast that might help with trusting again. Hugs and Happy Holidays!

Click to expand...

squidge said:

Do you think everyone is entitled to have friends , I haven't got any but I say to myself , if people don't want me I don't want them, they can all get stuffed.

Click to expand...

TheSkaFish said:

squidge said:

Do you think everyone is entitled to have friends , I haven't got any but I say to myself , if people don't want me I don't want them, they can all get stuffed.

Click to expand...

I think that is a complicated issue, for which there are no easy answers.  I do know that there are unfortunately some people who would dismiss that idea out of hand, but usually they're the kind of person that have never had a problem with this, don't know how it feels, and don't care as long as they have theirs.   These days, it seems popular for one group or individual who has power to use the word "entitled" to belittle or invalidate the thoughts, ideas, opinions, or feelings of another group or individual who is struggling.  

I don't know if anyone deserves friends, but I think the desire to have friends is a valid human wish - not even just humans, but many living creatures - and I don't think anyone should shame you for feeling that desire.

Click to expand...

TheSkaFish said:

squidge said:

Do you think everyone is entitled to have friends , I haven't got any but I say to myself , if people don't want me I don't want them, they can all get stuffed.

Click to expand...

I think that is a complicated issue, for which there are no easy answers.  I do know that there are unfortunately some people who would dismiss that idea out of hand, but usually they're the kind of person that have never had a problem with this, don't know how it feels, and don't care as long as they have theirs.   These days, it seems popular for one group or individual who has power to use the word "entitled" to belittle or invalidate the thoughts, ideas, opinions, or feelings of another group or individual who is struggling.  

I don't know if anyone deserves friends, but I think the desire to have friends is a valid human wish - not even just humans, but many living creatures - and I don't think anyone should shame you for feeling that desire.

Click to expand...

lovetodance2018 said:

lostinmusic said:

DeepTxWater said:

I can understand. When I was younger I had quite a few good friends but I always had to force myself to interact with them simply because deep down I really didn't want to be around people.  Being alone is where I've always felt safest.
Plenty of kind intelligent people here. I hope you find it helpful. Welcome!

Click to expand...

Thank you DeepTxWater. If I could move into the middle of nowhere I would, but we all have to interact with people at some point. I'm trying to force myself out of my comfort zone, so it doesn't come as a shock 

---

lovetodance2018 said:

Welcome lostinmusic, we are so glad you reached out here.  I also feel more comfortable behind a keyboard.  First it is helps get my thoughts out before interacting (reading what I write before sending it) and second it doesn't give immediate responses or actions.

I have recently moved and it is hard to find friends. So I understand about feeling alone.  I have found it helps to find common interests with others.  I have joined groups with activities I like.  Then we have something to chat about.  For me it is a group called English Country Dancing.  I also attend church and part of a small group.  I know it is hard to reach out and open up but we are designed to be social and interact with others.  We all crave that but don't want to deal with let down or hurt.  Please continue reaching out here.  We are here for you. You also might enjoy listing to this podcast.   I will be praying for you.  Please keep in touch.  Hugs and Blessings!

Click to expand...

Thank you for the lovely post, hugs and blessings. 

I couldn't agree more about the interacting with others. I've thought about trying jobs where I don't have to deal much with people, but I think it will make my situation worse. I've built some pretty high, thick walls and it's hard for me to trust people, but I really would like to again.

Thanks for the link to the podcast. I'll take a look.

I hope you enjoy your dancing and church group.

Hugs!

Click to expand...

---

I will be praying for the walls that hold you back from trusting people.  My husband has struggled with that for years.  It is not easy, but trusting God first helps with learning to slowly become open to relationships again.  Here is another podcast that might help with trusting again. Hugs and Happy Holidays!

Click to expand...

squidge said:

lovetodance2018 said:

lostinmusic said:

DeepTxWater said:

I can understand. When I was younger I had quite a few good friends but I always had to force myself to interact with them simply because deep down I really didn't want to be around people.  Being alone is where I've always felt safest.
Plenty of kind intelligent people here. I hope you find it helpful. Welcome!

Click to expand...

Thank you DeepTxWater. If I could move into the middle of nowhere I would, but we all have to interact with people at some point. I'm trying to force myself out of my comfort zone, so it doesn't come as a shock 

---

lovetodance2018 said:

Welcome lostinmusic, we are so glad you reached out here.  I also feel more comfortable behind a keyboard.  First it is helps get my thoughts out before interacting (reading what I write before sending it) and second it doesn't give immediate responses or actions.

I have recently moved and it is hard to find friends. So I understand about feeling alone.  I have found it helps to find common interests with others.  I have joined groups with activities I like.  Then we have something to chat about.  For me it is a group called English Country Dancing.  I also attend church and part of a small group.  I know it is hard to reach out and open up but we are designed to be social and interact with others.  We all crave that but don't want to deal with let down or hurt.  Please continue reaching out here.  We are here for you. You also might enjoy listing to this podcast.   I will be praying for you.  Please keep in touch.  Hugs and Blessings!

Click to expand...

Thank you for the lovely post, hugs and blessings. 

I couldn't agree more about the interacting with others. I've thought about trying jobs where I don't have to deal much with people, but I think it will make my situation worse. I've built some pretty high, thick walls and it's hard for me to trust people, but I really would like to again.

Thanks for the link to the podcast. I'll take a look.

I hope you enjoy your dancing and church group.

Hugs!

Click to expand...

---

I will be praying for the walls that hold you back from trusting people.  My husband has struggled with that for years.  It is not easy, but trusting God first helps with learning to slowly become open to relationships again.  Here is another podcast that might help with trusting again. Hugs and Happy Holidays!

Click to expand...

---

Do you think everyone is entitled to have friends , I haven't got any but I say to myself , if people don't want me I don't want them, they can all get stuffed.

Click to expand...