An introduction to reach out

Hi everyone, I’ve been mostly reading in this forum for a month and it’s time for me to reach out. I’d love to make a friend to talk with. I am starting the process of separation from my husband of 26 years so I have big scary life changes to make. My husband had been my friend for many years, we raised a child together.  Our daughter left the city for school 3 years ago so there has just been the two of us and I realize we have nothing in common any more. Our marriage has been a sham for a long time and I think I’ll be better off alone without him than alone with him. I haven’t worked for 30  years due to a car accident that left me partially disabled. Lost my former friends and didn’t make any lasting new ones. I will be returning, degrugingly, to my home city where I have an aged father and two brothers 
I sorta get along with. Something is better then nothing right? Ok, this is my sad, pathetic intro. I have lots of time on my hands to reach out and be friendly with other lonely people so please contact me if interested. Thanks for reading here.

Hi.
Welcome!
Must be so scary to start thinking about standing on your own feet. That honeysuckle sure scares me.
It’s a big step you are making. Cheers on you for wanting to make a change.
Hope you find lots of good friends in here. 
Sending some love your way

Jessicat said:

Hi.
Welcome!
Must be so scary to start thinking about standing on your own feet. That honeysuckle sure scares me.
It’s a big step you are making. Cheers on you for wanting to make a change.
Hope you find lots of good friends in here. 
Sending some love your way

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Thank you Jessicat for your kind words. Yes I’ll have to stand on my own feet, I think I’m up to it.

I admire your strength, K. I hope you find the life you want. And I also welcome you to this forum.

Kateonline said:

Hi everyone, I’ve been mostly reading in this forum for a month and it’s time for me to reach out. I’d love to make a friend to talk with. I am starting the process of separation from my husband of 26 years so I have big scary life changes to make. My husband had been my friend for many years, we raised a child together.  Our daughter left the city for school 3 years ago so there has just been the two of us and I realize we have nothing in common any more. Our marriage has been a sham for a long time and I think I’ll be better off alone without him than alone with him. I haven’t worked for 30  years due to a car accident that left me partially disabled. Lost my former friends and didn’t make any lasting new ones. I will be returning, degrugingly, to my home city where I have an aged father and two brothers 
I sorta get along with. Something is better then nothing right? Ok, this is my sad, pathetic intro. I have lots of time on my hands to reach out and be friendly with other lonely people so please contact me if interested. Thanks for reading here.

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Hi Kate,
Wow, 26 years together.  I must congratulate you, because you don’t see that type of marriage longevity very often.  That shows how much you have been committed to one another.  You also mentioned that your husband is your friend; sounds like you have a real recipe for a great partnership. 
Have you thought about where your feelings are coming from?  I know from my own experience that when my son moved out it was difficult, and even depressing for a while, and then it was liberating to be able to do things for; and by, myself.  I was able to do some things that I hadn’t done before, or that I had put on hold while raising my family. 
Have you thought about getting involved at a church, or volunteering at a school, or something along that line?   Or even talking your feeling over with a doctor or counselor?  I’m glad that you are reaching out to try and work through your emotions.  You are not alone!  We are all here for you.

Esther2264 said:

Kateonline said:

Hi everyone, I’ve been mostly reading in this forum for a month and it’s time for me to reach out. I’d love to make a friend to talk with. I am starting the process of separation from my husband of 26 years so I have big scary life changes to make. My husband had been my friend for many years, we raised a child together.  Our daughter left the city for school 3 years ago so there has just been the two of us and I realize we have nothing in common any more. Our marriage has been a sham for a long time and I think I’ll be better off alone without him than alone with him. I haven’t worked for 30  years due to a car accident that left me partially disabled. Lost my former friends and didn’t make any lasting new ones. I will be returning, degrugingly, to my home city where I have an aged father and two brothers 
I sorta get along with. Something is better then nothing right? Ok, this is my sad, pathetic intro. I have lots of time on my hands to reach out and be friendly with other lonely people so please contact me if interested. Thanks for reading here.

Click to expand...

Hi Kate,
Wow, 26 years together.  I must congratulate you, because you don’t see that type of marriage longevity very often.  That shows how much you have been committed to one another.  You also mentioned that your husband is your friend; sounds like you have a real recipe for a great partnership. 
Have you thought about where your feelings are coming from?  I know from my own experience that when my son moved out it was difficult, and even depressing for a while, and then it was liberating to be able to do things for; and by, myself.  I was able to do some things that I hadn’t done before, or that I had put on hold while raising my family. 
Have you thought about getting involved at a church, or volunteering at a school, or something along that line?   Or even talking your feeling over with a doctor or counselor?  I’m glad that you are reaching out to try and work through your emotions.  You are not alone!  We are all here for you.

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Thank you for your replies here. I want to add/correct to my post. When I said my husband and I were friends I meant we shared a huge, important interest- our daughter. We rarely fought or argued just kept focused on trying to raise a happy, healthy daughter. Someone that could perhaps help make this world a better place. After she left I’ve had lots of time to think about where I am left and what I want. I don’t know what I want, except to say happiness, but I don’t believe I’m heading for now. My husband is a good guy, wouldn’t hurt a flea, but is pretty much emotionless. He just toes the line, no change is good for him. We are totally enablers to each other. Realizing this and finally acting upon it I’m forcing change now and he agrees in the long run we are better off apart. I do have some ideas to help me feel better but they must be put on hold until I leave this city and get set up else where. Thanks for the much needed distraction of reading and replying to my posts. I know my reading here has helped me feel better in this thing we call life- alone together! P.S. I hope this post makes sense.

Hi welcome Kateonline

Your intro has really made me think about how I should freshen up my life.I too have been married over 25 years now and am very good friends with my wife.But she has a very active social life and sometimes I think if she didn't how things could be different.I also have kids all not appearing to be for different reasons leaving the nest very soon and I think this is a big chunk of the glue that keeps us together.I also don't like change and can be very lazy in that respect something I must change this year which I think if the kids did suddenly all leave I think would be good for our relationship if we were left alone together.Anyway sorry to hi-Jack your post with too much about me I just thought there are similarities that are relevant.

I wish you every success with your new life and don't hesitate to connect with people here. Believe me there are some super friendly people here and three in particular have really helped with their support when I have pm' d.

All the best...