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Feel like I am stuck in a black hole
My life couldn't be more difficult I am homeless I have to find a place that will buy my totaled car I hate my job and the worst part is I just turned 32 and new years is around the corner and all I think about is how I let my parents down I work full-time, but the lack of sleep is taking a toll on my body I am starting to get sick I always get cramps in both my tose I get dizzy sometimes anyone have any advice before I just kill myself before the new year comes
I don’t have any quick fix solution for you, but if you need to talk I will listen.
I hope things turn around for you soon. ❤️
Life is tough, and I know what it’s like to be homeless, I’m glad you’re still here right now.
We could be heroes, me and you...
It's important not to base your value on your current situation. You are a human being, which means you have inherent value despite whatever circumstances currently plague you. I've been briefly homeless before and drug addicted. That was twenty years ago. I made it through because it seemed when I was always at my lowest, God (the universe, serendipity, dumb luck, or whatever each individual prefers to call it) would present me with an opportunity to change my circumstances. Never give up. You only have one life and we all have the same appointment, eventually. No need to rush it.
'Bleed the freak' seems to have it covered. If it can get better for other people, it can get better for you. Those who face their problems with courage and determination are the most admirable. Keep on fighting, friend. This world is not ready to lose you, yet. You still have so much more to give.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
Sleep in your car. I have done it for some months. It isnt as bad as people think. You need to be creative to do it. Cut your grocery expenses. Eat fruits and vegetables. Sounds silly, but is a great way to save money. Do not commite suicide, it isn't woth. Really want to die before attempting to live?

Also save some money and take a year full membership in a 24h open gym. You can shower and brush your teeth there, every day. 

And who cares about your parents
All your anger and your hurt
Doesn't matter in the end
Those days go by
[Image: A174F39B7DCA2014B226A9BC389A1C1689869A07]
I must say I think it’s terrible that people are sleeping in there car.

I’ve had a rough time of it over the last 5 years but I’ve never had to resort to sleeping in my car so I should be thankful. Ive slept in some shitty bedsits but I couldn’t ever imagine sleeping in a car.

Sorry no advice because I’ve never experienced anything like this.
I would totally give you a room if I lived on my own. Smile God knows, I have two guest rooms!
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
I'm only 2 years younger than you, and in a similar boat. It's a shame that we're in an economic period where you and I can both be employed full-time and still not be able to afford the cost of living. I have a 5-star resume and plenty of field experience, I avoided marriage, kids, and drugs in my 20's so that those are not factors holding me back, and I even have a few years worth of management experience and lower-level machinist experience. I'm pretty much borderline an operations consultant, I even worked directly with a CFO for a few years when I was a manager, so I can do probably just up under the bar of it all, I just don't have the legal degree and paper work in the U.S. required to be able to do those kinds of jobs. I had to drop out of college when I was younger due to personal issues with my family.

You are not a failure. You should be proud to have a full time job, even if it's one that you hate, because of how scarce jobs can be. At the same time though, all it takes is the wrong type of manager (the corrupt, fucked up, power hungry kind) in order to totally make an otherwise enjoyable job into a shitty job. If that's the problem with working, you should possibly look at trying to pick up 2 part-time jobs. You'd need a day job and a night job though, because quite often part-timers don't want to play ball with each other's schedules and seem to worship the midshift as a "Please don't sue us for not paying for your health insurance" safe-zone. There are ways to make yourself handle work-related stress better in a positive way that may even improve your work performance, but if the problem is a clash with management, particularly with an abusive manager, I'd sooner look at finding a few more jobs. The trouble is, you've got to drop applications like mad these days just to get even a few interviews lined up. But you WANT to do that, because you want to keep the options open for yourself. It's a good practice to have applications floating about even when you're comfortable at your job and pay grade, just for the sake of having the option to jump ship should you feel the need to one day.
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"

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