Stressed out

In April I became friends with someone I had known for some years and in the last few months things have been getting really difficult with him.  We go to a local language group and he goes into a sullen sulk refusing to talk or join in if I talk to someone else in the group for 'too long,' or if I make an arrangment to see one of the others socially instead of him, or last week when I had to swop seats with one of the others when a table lamp was switched on as I have problems with one of my eyes, he later accused me of moving to get away from him. After every meeting I ask him what is wrong as he is upset every week. When I explained about the lamp I asked if he felt better after my explanation, and he said no, and I thought -that's it, I have had enough of trying to make him feel ok.  I can't tell him if I am going anywhere, as he will immediately say that he will come with me.  Part of me started to hate him this autumn.  Anyway, I had looked forward to Christmas as it would be a whole week without him, but his dad died suddenly on Sunday and so he needs my help and support. I was with him for 7 or 8 hours yesterday, 3 hours today (I went for a meal at a local church and called to ask if he could come on account of losing his dad), will be with him for 7 or 8 hours on Friday and 7 or 8 hours on New Year's Eve.  We met a mutual friend yesterday for an hour and afterwards she left, telling him she would see him in January.  So it has all landed on me to support him. She is at a sibling's home today and has a relationship as well, so somehow this means that her time and arrangements for Christmas are more valuable than mine and I have been left to cope wth him alone.  I know I sound horrible, but I really can't cope with him and hope next year to withdraw from him.  Are my feelings normal?

Yes. When people act needy they tend to become gealous and they find a lot of reasons for something stupid like a seat swop. Perhaps he is gealous of you even if you have no history of romanticism with him. Our brain dislikes those who are being needy, we see them as someone powerless and not worth of our attention. Kinda like a homeless man you don't even acknowledge his existence most of the time.


My opinion, of course