Can't seem to be able to get friends of my gender

I'm a guy and although I've been having trouble becoming actual friends and not just acquaintances, I've been able to connect easier with women. This is somewhat normal for other countries but in Indonesia it can be seen as though I'm gay or feminine although I am a guy guy, I like sports more than most and don't like feminine things. But people here are the people who think men need to take care of the family and have to be manly, and frankly I agree. I don't know why I cant make many guy friends no matter what I try. I am happy I found friends but if only I could get guy friends and be socially acceptable. I love my country and its culture but man how I feel I've let it down by not being of its standard.
Can anyone help?

Ahh.
I struggle with the same problem.
Me and girl friends usually don’t last too long. It’s fine for short hangouts but nothing more serious.
I’ve wondered about what makes me so... unattractive as a friend to girls.

Despite being a male myself, and knowing that most guys are decent, I tend to be more comfortable around women. I'm not too sure why that is - maybe it has something to do with the fact that I was only bullied by boys in high school. Maybe. Though there were some crappy girls in my school as well.

I’m male and can’t make male friends.

I don’t think I’m ‘lad’ enough.

Sorry no help, but we’re in the same boat.

I get along better with men...More specifically, older men. I struggle to be around people that I grew up with.

I'm the same as Amy pretty much. I have only had one good friend that was a girl, and sadly she died from Cancer a few years ago. She was very strong as an individual and also empathic. I always attributed it to being raised and spending my time mostly with men, so I am the most comfortable with them. I find with female friendships, I'm always waiting to say the wrong thing. My male friendships tend to be more reserved and trusting.

It must be difficult Obunga, to have social judgement regarding your comfort level with friendships with the opposite sex. We have large cultural differences, but I hope you can continue to just be yourself and hold your head high.

I agree with Pathfinder. 
Be yourself and hold your head high. 
Good advice.

Obunga said:

I'm a guy and although I've been having trouble becoming actual friends and not just acquaintances, I've been able to connect easier with women. This is somewhat normal for other countries but in Indonesia it can be seen as though I'm gay or feminine although I am a guy guy, I like sports more than most and don't like feminine things. But people here are the people who think men need to take care of the family and have to be manly, and frankly I agree. I don't know why I cant make many guy friends no matter what I try. I am happy I found friends but if only I could get guy friends and be socially acceptable. I love my country and its culture but man how I feel I've let it down by not being of its standard.
Can anyone help?

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I like this post, sounds alot like me. You want help and advice? here it is - Go it alone.  Decide what kind of man you are and want to be, and do it. If the consequences are that you clash with other men, so be it.  If your friends are female, great.

I tend to not get along with other men. I don't give a fresia about sports, I think they're a waste of time. Even further, to sit home and watch them on tv.  I have nothing in common with the "man's man" type of guy.  I love women in the traditional sense though, so I've been called chauvinistic. I dislike women who workout and are aggressive, super independent, etc. I'm into women who are probably like the 1950's "nuclear family" girl-next-door type; small, soft, and weak lol, submissive passive nature, and of course, pretty.  

I've worked out for 40 years, so I'm muscular and strong, healthy, and I've been told I'm like Isreal...very self resourceful..I can come up with resources out of thin air at times, even though I have no friends..Been at the same job for almost 30 years, so I have plenty of money. Not rich by any means, but far from poor.

Back to advice, the only kind I can give is the life learning kind.  If you need to work out, do it. Stay at your job and shut up and work...invest there and over time you'll make more and more money and promotions.  Make yourself so **** self sufficient that you never need help, but are in the position to give it.  THEN, fresia the male alpha sports person....you'll have power to just not care and girls will see it.  I dated women as my social outlet after my divorce.  I missed...and still do, miss having a good male friend and confidant. I just got married this past April to a woman who is exactly the type of girl I mentioned above and while she's my best friend, whom I share everything with, the feedback isn't the same as another man.  My co-worker/subordinate, is probably my closest male friend.  He knows stuff about me even my wife doesn't know. I am grateful to have him in my life.

I wish I had someone outside of work that I could share things with, but I don't.  I make enemies easier than I make friends.  It's just the cross I bear that I guess comes with the personality.

Go it alone.

Pathfinder said:

I'm the same as Amy pretty much.  I have only had one good friend that was a girl, and sadly she died from Cancer a few years ago.  She was very strong as an individual and also empathic.  I always attributed it to being raised and spending my time mostly with men, so I am the most comfortable with them.  I find with female friendships, I'm always waiting to say the wrong thing.  My male friendships tend to be more reserved and trusting.

It must be difficult Obunga, to have social judgement regarding your comfort level with friendships with the opposite sex.  We have large cultural differences, but I hope you can continue to just be yourself and hold your head high.

Click to expand...

I, too, am exactly like this. My most rewarding friendships have always been with men and I am most comfortable with them. I don’t really have any female friends at all, aside from my sister-in-law. 

I also second Pathfinder’s advice - be yourself and don’t worry about what others may think.