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I'm a sad, pathetic person who doesn't deserve a relationship
#11
Jerking off to a photo is so last century. 
It’s all about the videos. 😎
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#12
[Image: giphy.gif]
Doesn't seem that big of a deal to me
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#13
😂
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#14
I didn't understand the purpose of the Trump gif at first - now that I realized you were using it to portray a reaction, it's far less disturbing than what I first thought. Big Grin
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#15
(12-30-2018, 11:09 PM)Matt L Wrote: Confession Post.


Whenever I'm not at work I spend my time online. I stay up late chatting with people on forums and reddit, sharing pictures of girls I find on Tinder, or ones I've known from school or work and jerk off. I've always felt weird about it but I feel bad now that I've shared my current crush, who I have genuine feelings for and is now engaged to someone else. I do this to live out the sexual life I've never had (and never will have). I feel like a living contradiction because I loath sexually successful people, detest scummy people and here I am doing weird shit like this. There's no ultimate point to this post. I'm just so lonely and frustrated and felt like sharing this to anyone who's bored.

Lonely people do desperate things, sometimes deviant things. Posting pictures of others for sexual gratification is deviant, and should be a red flag to yourself to find another outlet.  With respect to your loneliness, which can at times be overpowering, especially around this time of the year, you still are responsible for your behavior. If by chance, someone whose picture you've decided to use finds out about it, there could be some legal action taken, and some hard real-life consequences.

The problem many have with the online world, is they forget that it's not as anonymous as they imagine.  Forums such as this, where some can become very disrespectful with their words towards others, or very sexually explicit, steal pictures catfish-style, and think nothing of it. I liken that to those who drive carelessly, music blaring, texting on the phone, maybe drinking and partying because the dangers of the road are all "out there" and it's nice and comfortable in here.  Shocked when they get into an accident and are hurt.  Yep, your actions online do not insulate you from consequences.

I understand loneliness.  And there are stories from my past that are real skeletons in the closet - things I won't especially share here.  Yet they've been tools for growth for myself, and others in my real world where I've shared these things.  It helps when people know that you understand.

So for what it's worth, I do understand loneliness and the agony it sometimes brings.  Yet, it is a state of mind that you have to overcome, and you can.
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#16
(01-01-2019, 06:09 PM)hewhowalksalone Wrote: I didn't understand the purpose of the Trump gif at first - now that I realized you were using it to portray a reaction, it's far less disturbing than what I first thought. Big Grin

Ahahahaha 😂
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#17
The masturbating to the thought or image of a person you know is one thing, but you have no right to post pictures of other people online. I wouldn't even post their full names anywhere. You do realize that could also open them up to stalkers, right? People don't need much to go on anymore to find out the identity of someone.

Perhaps your time would be better spent not staying up late or going out and living instead of getting sucked into cyber hell with nothing to do.
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
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#18
How old are you? There's a bunch of stuff you can do to improve your chances if you're relatively young. Not spanking the monkey on a regular basis to photos of people you know would be one thing. It's debasing. If Steve Shives can bed four women, so can 99% of incels.
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#19
(12-30-2018, 11:09 PM)Matt L Wrote: Confession Post.


Whenever I'm not at work I spend my time online. I stay up late chatting with people on forums and reddit, sharing pictures of girls I find on Tinder, or ones I've known from school or work and jerk off. I've always felt weird about it but I feel bad now that I've shared my current crush, who I have genuine feelings for and is now engaged to someone else. I do this to live out the sexual life I've never had (and never will have). I feel like a living contradiction because I loath sexually successful people, detest scummy people and here I am doing weird shit like this. There's no ultimate point to this post. I'm just so lonely and frustrated and felt like sharing this to anyone who's bored.


Your post title would appear to be your self description or self judgement.

Well, you get to judge yourself, and whether they have the right to or not, others will judge you.
  
Maybe this description is a feeling that you've always had, or maybe it will go away, sooner or later.
The question is, is it what you want to be true?
If not, what if anything, is your plan?

Not to attack you at all, but some of the sentence structure in your post makes it a bit difficult for me to
understand.     Sentences three and four of your post are a little unclear.

Some things come easy, some don't.   Jerking off to photos is easy, and if no one knows about it
but you, is anyone harmed, besides maybe you for feeling there is something bad about it?

Are you interested in something different that might require quite a bit of pain and effort, with
pretty much no way to know if it will work, but if it did, could have a pretty nice payoff?

A real sexual and romantic relationship is perhaps by contrast not so easy as jerking off.  It might require
quite a large payment and might in the end be very much not worth the investment.

Have you insulted the women in the photos by jerking off to those photos, or could it be said 
instead that you're paying them a compliment?  Do you have to feel bad about it?  

Next:

You have fallen into a logical fallacy, Tu quoque.

You "detest scummy people".   Holding that opinion of others is not made invalid if you
also happen to consider YOURSELF a scummy person.

Hypocrisy does not make those other people less scummy.  Your judgement isn't 
automatically false.  A thief can recognize and name another thief.

No one one has a monopoly on the ability to see and speak the truth.
Everyone, perhaps especially a hypocrite, can do this.
There is an old saying "it takes one to know one".

You "feel like a living contradiction" but that does not have to be a completely 
bad thing.

For example,  suppose that there is a judge who beats up her spouse and children at  home.
But over the years as this judge works in the courthouse she locks up literally thousands of people who abuse their spouses.

Does this mean it was ok, or ideal?  No, but we live with such contradictions whether we
like it or not., in all facets of life. 

If you don't like what you do and are, that is fine.  But don't become convinced that
you necessarily have to change behavior in order  to change the way you feel about yourself.

Would change be good?  You appear to think it might. But the question is, 
are you prepared for the work and the risk of failure?  

You write that you are in school, so I'm going to guess you might be
a young person, relatively speaking.   Your name suggests you are male.

You write, "I do this to live out the sexual life I've never had (and never will have)"

Well, never is a long time.  Some things may be unlikely, but time and circumstances 
can change things.

Although it should be obvious, your situation is pretty common.
Biology means that there are only a few males needed, and females will tend to choose only a certain few.
The majority of males your age are going to be rejected.  The majority of males get rejected, period.

Now you could pour effort into becoming one of those certain few men.  
Or you could change your standards about what you will accept.


Or quite a few unconventional things.  Some men hire prostitutes. Some men become
serial rapists.  Some men become celibate.  Some men join group marriages.  Some men play a numbers game, simply and bluntly 
asking every single woman directly to have sex, without any ritual of dating or such.   Some men invent an image
and pretend to be things they are not, and tell women what they want to hear.  Some men let homosexuals give them 
oral sex.

Now it would be nice if  there were a girl you liked, and you could just walk up and say,
"what would it take for you to want to have sex with me?"

Unfortunately, there appear to be some, perhaps most, women who could not answer that question.
They may THINK they know, but if you observe what they ACTUALLY respond to, it becomes 
clear that they do not know, or are simply not willing to be honest with themselves or anyone else.

You may be aware that there are thousands of "gurus" who will sell you book and other junk
that will make it possible for you to understand women, and how to interact with them.
If that works for you, great.  I'd just say be really skeptical.

Again, I don't know your age or where you work or go to school.

I would suggest that if you have not done so, you look very carefully at the documents
your work and school put out.    Usually there is an "employee handbook" and you sign
something agreeing to many things about your behavior both on and off the job.

Most schools are quite similar. What you post on Reddit, for example, could get you
thrown out of school.  So read, long and hard, and know what all the rules may be.
It can be incredibly easy to be accused falsely of sexual assault or date rape.  Even using
certain words or telling jokes can land you in a world of trouble.  Don't assume anything,
no matter how well you THINK you know a girl.   Again, even your behavior off school grounds
could get you bounced. READ the rules very carefully.

Also, look quietly and carefully around you.  Listen.  Many schools have some pretty active
and aggressive staff and groups that want to do you a lot of harm.  They say things like "all sex is rape" and 
"all men exploit all women".  And let me tell you, they are deadly serious and looking to put you
in the bullseye.  Learn who these people are, and act accordingly.

You're also likely to encounter what I might call    "frat boy asshole" types who can get 
you involved in some incredibly stupid stuff.  Fun, maybe, but probably not worth the risk of going to 
prison as a convicted sex offender.    And yeah, being drunk and peeing outdoors in the bushes on
campus CAN, seriously, get you charged and convicted as a sex offender, having to register for years or 
even forever.  Try getting a job after that.

You mentioned that your crush just recently got engaged.
I presume you have never been engaged or married.

When people become emotionally involved the feelings can very 
intense and very pleasurable.  It is natural to want those feelings to 
continue or even increase.

And perhaps that is possible. However, think about alcohol.
The feeling is great, and it makes you want to keep feeling that way,
so you keep drinking even more.   Eventually you may wake up with
a hangover and some regrets.

Being married, or even just living with someone, carries quite a lot 
of risk.   Only you can say if the risk is worth it.    
You may at some point want nor need to live with other people, whether
a girlfriend or room mates.

BEFORE you do this, take some time to look at a 
book published by NOLO press on a thing called a "cohabitation contract".

Cover your ass.  Never assume. Wear condoms.  

Remember that most women have had a LOT more partners than most men.
This does not in any way mean I think they are bad people, it's just a statistical fact.

Some STDs don't show, and some take years to show.    
Most women have a few ex men in their past.

Some of these guys could be jealous violent psychos.
It really pays to find out.  You would be surprised how much you 
can find out for a couple bucks online about people.

And, finally, think about hanging out online in new places.
Sometimes certain cites can make you develop habits that are not good for you.


,
,
,
,

(01-01-2019, 09:35 AM)Jessicat Wrote: Jerking off to a photo is so last century. 
It’s all about the videos. 😎

Jessicat, I know you are only making a joke.

But as the guy said, some of these photos are of females he knows at work
and at school.

Just admitting that he has done this is so dangerous to him.

I am sure guys put up webcams in the girls locker room at schools, but 
maybe that isn't quite the best way to get a look at the girl you have a crush on.

This line of thinking leads me to remember a couple of things I've seen.
There are incredibly expensive and realistic full body "sex dolls" you can purchase.
I am sure buying this is not an option for this young man.
What I am pretty certain of is, you can send them a photo of anyone, and they can
and will build you a sex doll with that exact face and body.

I've also noticed an interesting trend in online porn.
You happen to be watching a particular recorded movie, and a little
window pops up, with a live person in it.

"Hello, the offer goes. We see you like this porn actor.
Would you like to spend some private time online with a real
person who looks the same?"

Not my thing, but it's interesting.

,
,
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#20
I saw a documentary about those dolls once. They were making it possible to have a small conversation with it. 
That is interesting and probably a good solution for some. 
And the relations between those men and that doll is fun to dive into and learn about too.
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