There's this one and only girl Ive been able to be closewith. Whenever I'm with her or even texts me I feel very good about myself. She's that part of my day that really defines how it's gonna go. I realized that I had feelings for her but that our friendship is more important because if I went through with it our friendship could collapse. So I decided to put it off; but then the feelings returned and realized that she would be caring enough to keep me around even if things didn't work out. I then decided i was going to do it, I was going to tell her how I feel. But this one time she was invited over for a party of my acquaintance in which we were different schools. I realized that I wasn't all that interesting and that all the other people in my school were better than me. I kept thinking she's only talking to me because she is a generally outgoing person even though I'm just a piece of boring meat. There were others who could make her feel happy better than I could. So now I'm just really down knowing that I'm not the best option and may never be for this girl and maybe how I feel about this friendship is not reciprocated from the other side. I feel everybody I get close to will always opt for the better option and that my personality is not what I thought it was. But these feelings and thoughts are still here and it hurts and gets in the way of me doing important things.