for a couple months now my sister has been causing hell and stress at home. she is always coming over our house intoxicated and a huge mess. always hysterical. crazy it seems..
she comes crying and screaming about her problems, and family (mom and i), and anyone else who had the unfortunate chance of meeting her. she crys and begs for a family and a hug but all she does is stir the pot and cause problems. were talking about her, she brings up something or someone completely irrelevant. why? what does that have to do with right now. she wants/NEEDS help, but she avoids everyone when sober, or runs away or changes the subject when ever you try to help her, she dont want to hear it.
so we(mom and i) only see her like this. drunk out of her mind.
she used to be a really bad alcoholic when she was younger, probably over 10 years ago maybe, its been a while.
but she picked it back up and its worse than ever before. now shes 33 and acting like a demon teenager. like she was when she was a teen.
my mom and her have always had a nightmare of a relationship. i grew up watching them fight, and my sister being kicked in and out of home and other places
like boarding homes, possibly a half way house but i cant remember. anyways shes lived in multiple homes with other kids in similar situations i guess.
theres faults on both sides between my mom and sister. im sure my mom being a better mom would have helped alot. she has always been a good mom.
but shes foreign and does not understand alot of things most people do, plus she didnt finish school, somewhat of a toxic airhead, unintentionally. i dont want to make her sound bad, i have my own issues with her but thats not what i want to get into, just mention both sides problems. my sister has always been independent and rebellious. did what ever she
wanted, anything. skip school smoke drink all that stuff a brother doesn't want to get into. so i say they're both bad. i dont like either of them, not anymore. i love them but
to me.. im critical.. but i have been trying to like my mom more, be more appreciative and enjoy her company. id like the same with my sister, were probably the closest people in each others lives. we have been very close and tight, she'd always vent to me since i was young, i like her when she sober, shes so awesome. she probably thinks otherwise.
but for a long time our relationship is not much of one, typical for me. barley talking or spending time together, rarely hugging or even saying i love you. were both guilty for that. im barley in peoples lives and they're barley in mine.
we've always had a broken family. ive always tried to be the peace keeper, bringing good vibes and humor. never really worked.
but growing up i was mommas boy, dont like to admit it but there was a time, young me. and my sister did not like it one bit
my sister didnt have a father until my father met my mom, and then i was born, eventually my dad left.
but with me came less attention for her, and my father going, was her father going to.
seemed to bother her more than me, hmm. what ever.
so my sister resented my mom and i pretty much, because we were so close. i was a good kid, she wasnt. wrong of my mom? probably, im sure theres something to do about that, but my sister was really something, a wild one. my mom really got upset with her when my sister would try to turn me against my mom, its worked a few times, very gullible influential kid, in the midst of hell.
my sister would have much rather struggle and be on her own than to live with mom and hear her words.
both so petty and small minded, it seems like women hate other women alot. >.<
there has been times my mom and sister got along, mostly when my sister was sober, atleast i think she was, she seemed so for a very long time, and was doing great for herself, so great.even when they did, my sister would still talk honeysuckle about my mom and avoid her (discretely). but for the most part they never really got along, i wish my mom loved her as much as she loved me, sometimes i feel its to much and suffocating and my sister is deprived.
i feel for her i do, but she has been trippin!!!!!!! really causing problems and stirring the pot.
bringing up any and everyone, the past and even lying. she goes for the low blow, she knows where it hurts and aims for that.
a very weak thing for her to do. disgraceful and just an all time low.
talking honeysuckle about people for no reason.
very infuriating.
another point, my sister and i's relationship has been very rocky with in and outs of course. we've always had that sibling relationship, a friend to laugh and vent to, also fight.
i grew up thinking sibling fighting was normal. we've fought since before i can remember. many times with very hard hits, nothing permanent. we are both guilty of starting fights.
to this day she brings up how wild of a child i was, cant say i remember honestly, but she'd always say i had some kind of rage in me, id pretty much scream as if i were going super saiyan and go berserk mode. she has one time opened her bedroom door to a knife in it.. heh yea.. dont remember it. but that is a bad boy! what am i.. she is right tho, i do have a rage in me. i am quiet and reserved all of the time, just how i am. i hold in a lot, a unhealthy amount really. so i bottle everything up, and my emotions can be intense, libra double scorpio for those who care. i feel intense emotions when i do, try not most time(and be emotionless/detached). i get sad i get depressed, im to embarrassed by my own happiness sometimes/a lot of times, and i get destructive when im angry. atleast that is what makes me feel good when im angry, to destroy, it relieves it........
ive regretted it many times, i hate this feeling the most and try my utmost to not feel so, i really hold myself back. i learned to contain it and eventually i learned to stop right before contact when i wanted to break or punch something. took strength, but it made me more angry to not be able to take it out some how, how to relieve myself of this... sometimes id cry. this past year its somewhat creeped up on me, bad year and bad depression.. so ive been breaking and punching stuff, sometimes. i still stop myself and chill, little meditation real quick, way to quick. but it helps. or i have been just punching my bed and pillows, no damage? eh..
rather not have to be that way, disgusting beast..
i hate him and wish he didnt exist, i suppose this the rage within?
i do hold him back, but i tire and im to weak im sorry..
breaks out sometimes :/
whos the real demon child...
we fought alot when we were younger, as we got older we matured and got really close, closer than ever. eventually our relationship drifted and we barley were existent to each other. still in contact and cool, at least i thought so. time passes things get tough for her, shes had a tough time to many times, but it really brought her down. the cause tho? honestly i cant say, it could be what ever she says it is, or its her. its been to many times for it to always been the other persons fault or whatever. i really do try to support her but she like self sabotages herself or something. most likely being drunk, or these days shes been saying her pills, shes been on for a long time, but now all of sudden its making her crazy?
something for add i think, but something altering her emotions? hard to say really i dont know much about pills but i dont really like or trust them, id never take something like that, thats just me. i think shes drunk most of the time, my mom to, and her ex (another giant thorn causing hell) but it drives my sister crazy.
its hard to believe her though, shes made up so many lies, even false rape charge.. yea i know..
so alot of the time i get called by cops or the ex about her drunk and get her or she'll be arrested, she calls or tells me she was just sleeping and always gets beat by this guy.
she looks a mess but not hurt, she looks drunk, but she swears shes not. i want to be on her side but not if shes wrong.
things are very confusing and chaotic, stressful on all of us.. how can i believe someone about being beat and raped while they can barley talk or stand? big stress.
i know this guy is horrible, a grade a piece of honeysuckle, trash, vile, shouldnt exist. i dont care to be harsh he's cause my loved one pain, and brought more stress to all of us pretty much. shes been living with him for idk how long, but they dated for along time awhile back, not sure what they were but im sure its been some weird messed up honeysuckle. again, hard to believe what she says, but her normal sober self i know, would not share all the details she does, yuck. ******* sick ***** **** it. it really makes me want to slap the fresia out of her, but mostly the accumulative of all the recent issues, and i did. its been many a times she comes home just to lay on the couch and talk honeysuckle hollering hysterically. again she would not keep talking about other things or people, i dont regret it and i think she deserved it. i really held back, just one good smack, broke her glasses unfortunately. we havent sit each other since i was like twelve, and her boyfriend (an adult) beat me up after. also a couple months ago when i had to grab her from being arrested, as soon as we left her ex's hosue, she wants me to let her out of my car so she can get her car...... uh? stupid, even if theres cops in sight watching us. idiot.
as im driving down the street, she opens the door to try and open it, i stoped so quick and grabbed her so fast, and aggressively, kind of in the moment and quick reflexes. that counts as a hit to her, eh.
anyways few yours before i started writing, we fought again. she comes over about saying no to her ex who was trying to have sex with her (she says rape, but no means no so yea) but as shes blabbering to my mom about it, and my mom asks questions, she mocks my mom, my mom has really broken english but we know her well enough and thats just rude. you want someones help but you're making a fool of your self so disrespectful. i rustled my jimmies, my mom trying to help and she mocks it? hmmm..... as im upstairs she talking more honeysuckle, im talking back, nothing bad, mostly witty come backs that put her in her place but hearing the truth makes her say "fresia you" and "*****" good one. i say "you wanna say that to my face?" "yea *****" i come down stair with my plate and cup from dinner, walk right up to her till my chest is on hers, she pushes my face and i drop my stuff, hard to say how it went next but my main goal was to put her down and subdue her, as im trying to maneuver somehow , and this.... take a moment..
she goes for the weak spot alrite, rather than hitting me any other way, she grabs by balls and squeezes. how low of her. i bend her hand back asap because she definitely hurt me, still hurts hours later.. if my child is born unhealthy, its because my sister squeezed my nuts. sick fresia.
but after grabbing my nuts it flicked the switch, beast mode is a go. i fell on the floor to escape her grip, got up grabbed her and threw her on the couch, super cushions. im on top holding her down, grab her glasses and throw them off, and i swing with all my force... and miss every time. at that moment i wanted blood, maybe death, ******* beast. but im glad i missed, i really am, she would have been messed up, after missing all 3 shots i got to push her face down until she simmers down, and i jump off of her. i try to walk away "yea walk away", i turn around and go directly to her and say "whats up you want me? im right here?" she leans on me and raises her arms to hug me, right thing to do would be hug her, but i didnt, still riled up i flick her away "you dont want me to touch you but you touching me?" last of that pretty much. while later she comes knocking on my door for markers and paper to draw, uh ok sure here you go. go away. then comes running back up, showing me her friends snapchat all goofy and cheerful, uh dude wtf? like whaaaaaaat the..... weird but ok, nice little make up moment, as we nerd out to it. she takes forever to leave this time, like i want her to goooooooooo but she wont shut the fresia up, super annoying. she goes, and comes back, startes blabbering about nonsense again and just making me upset now, pissing me off, like shut the fresia uppppp. nothing positive or for reason, nonsense plain garbage. more names, my exs name, another flick. stay cool and now i tell her to leave, get out, goooooo, go draw. finally peace.... right? this time i locked my door, thump, she tried walking in but now shes outside my door blabbering, not paying attention trying to finish typing this, yea i started typing after getting my nuts squeezed, still hurts. but now she complaining about my new neighbors that JUST moved in, one building, split down the middle, 2 families. thin walls pretty much, especially in the basement, where shes been hanging out, causing problems with them blabbering like wtf!!!!! she doesnt even live here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she has no respect where ever she stays, shes either "homless" or ******* people for a place to stay. but shes a slob leaving honeysuckle everywhere, you can tell when shes been there, she leaves tracks, easy trail.
but like come on now... this has been very very very stressful on ALL of us.. wtf man..
mom came home and now another battle ensues..
hell.
she comes crying and screaming about her problems, and family (mom and i), and anyone else who had the unfortunate chance of meeting her. she crys and begs for a family and a hug but all she does is stir the pot and cause problems. were talking about her, she brings up something or someone completely irrelevant. why? what does that have to do with right now. she wants/NEEDS help, but she avoids everyone when sober, or runs away or changes the subject when ever you try to help her, she dont want to hear it.
so we(mom and i) only see her like this. drunk out of her mind.
she used to be a really bad alcoholic when she was younger, probably over 10 years ago maybe, its been a while.
but she picked it back up and its worse than ever before. now shes 33 and acting like a demon teenager. like she was when she was a teen.
my mom and her have always had a nightmare of a relationship. i grew up watching them fight, and my sister being kicked in and out of home and other places
like boarding homes, possibly a half way house but i cant remember. anyways shes lived in multiple homes with other kids in similar situations i guess.
theres faults on both sides between my mom and sister. im sure my mom being a better mom would have helped alot. she has always been a good mom.
but shes foreign and does not understand alot of things most people do, plus she didnt finish school, somewhat of a toxic airhead, unintentionally. i dont want to make her sound bad, i have my own issues with her but thats not what i want to get into, just mention both sides problems. my sister has always been independent and rebellious. did what ever she
wanted, anything. skip school smoke drink all that stuff a brother doesn't want to get into. so i say they're both bad. i dont like either of them, not anymore. i love them but
to me.. im critical.. but i have been trying to like my mom more, be more appreciative and enjoy her company. id like the same with my sister, were probably the closest people in each others lives. we have been very close and tight, she'd always vent to me since i was young, i like her when she sober, shes so awesome. she probably thinks otherwise.
but for a long time our relationship is not much of one, typical for me. barley talking or spending time together, rarely hugging or even saying i love you. were both guilty for that. im barley in peoples lives and they're barley in mine.
we've always had a broken family. ive always tried to be the peace keeper, bringing good vibes and humor. never really worked.
but growing up i was mommas boy, dont like to admit it but there was a time, young me. and my sister did not like it one bit
my sister didnt have a father until my father met my mom, and then i was born, eventually my dad left.
but with me came less attention for her, and my father going, was her father going to.
seemed to bother her more than me, hmm. what ever.
so my sister resented my mom and i pretty much, because we were so close. i was a good kid, she wasnt. wrong of my mom? probably, im sure theres something to do about that, but my sister was really something, a wild one. my mom really got upset with her when my sister would try to turn me against my mom, its worked a few times, very gullible influential kid, in the midst of hell.
my sister would have much rather struggle and be on her own than to live with mom and hear her words.
both so petty and small minded, it seems like women hate other women alot. >.<
there has been times my mom and sister got along, mostly when my sister was sober, atleast i think she was, she seemed so for a very long time, and was doing great for herself, so great.even when they did, my sister would still talk honeysuckle about my mom and avoid her (discretely). but for the most part they never really got along, i wish my mom loved her as much as she loved me, sometimes i feel its to much and suffocating and my sister is deprived.
i feel for her i do, but she has been trippin!!!!!!! really causing problems and stirring the pot.
bringing up any and everyone, the past and even lying. she goes for the low blow, she knows where it hurts and aims for that.
a very weak thing for her to do. disgraceful and just an all time low.
talking honeysuckle about people for no reason.
very infuriating.
another point, my sister and i's relationship has been very rocky with in and outs of course. we've always had that sibling relationship, a friend to laugh and vent to, also fight.
i grew up thinking sibling fighting was normal. we've fought since before i can remember. many times with very hard hits, nothing permanent. we are both guilty of starting fights.
to this day she brings up how wild of a child i was, cant say i remember honestly, but she'd always say i had some kind of rage in me, id pretty much scream as if i were going super saiyan and go berserk mode. she has one time opened her bedroom door to a knife in it.. heh yea.. dont remember it. but that is a bad boy! what am i.. she is right tho, i do have a rage in me. i am quiet and reserved all of the time, just how i am. i hold in a lot, a unhealthy amount really. so i bottle everything up, and my emotions can be intense, libra double scorpio for those who care. i feel intense emotions when i do, try not most time(and be emotionless/detached). i get sad i get depressed, im to embarrassed by my own happiness sometimes/a lot of times, and i get destructive when im angry. atleast that is what makes me feel good when im angry, to destroy, it relieves it........
ive regretted it many times, i hate this feeling the most and try my utmost to not feel so, i really hold myself back. i learned to contain it and eventually i learned to stop right before contact when i wanted to break or punch something. took strength, but it made me more angry to not be able to take it out some how, how to relieve myself of this... sometimes id cry. this past year its somewhat creeped up on me, bad year and bad depression.. so ive been breaking and punching stuff, sometimes. i still stop myself and chill, little meditation real quick, way to quick. but it helps. or i have been just punching my bed and pillows, no damage? eh..
rather not have to be that way, disgusting beast..
i hate him and wish he didnt exist, i suppose this the rage within?
i do hold him back, but i tire and im to weak im sorry..
breaks out sometimes :/
whos the real demon child...
we fought alot when we were younger, as we got older we matured and got really close, closer than ever. eventually our relationship drifted and we barley were existent to each other. still in contact and cool, at least i thought so. time passes things get tough for her, shes had a tough time to many times, but it really brought her down. the cause tho? honestly i cant say, it could be what ever she says it is, or its her. its been to many times for it to always been the other persons fault or whatever. i really do try to support her but she like self sabotages herself or something. most likely being drunk, or these days shes been saying her pills, shes been on for a long time, but now all of sudden its making her crazy?
something for add i think, but something altering her emotions? hard to say really i dont know much about pills but i dont really like or trust them, id never take something like that, thats just me. i think shes drunk most of the time, my mom to, and her ex (another giant thorn causing hell) but it drives my sister crazy.
its hard to believe her though, shes made up so many lies, even false rape charge.. yea i know..
so alot of the time i get called by cops or the ex about her drunk and get her or she'll be arrested, she calls or tells me she was just sleeping and always gets beat by this guy.
she looks a mess but not hurt, she looks drunk, but she swears shes not. i want to be on her side but not if shes wrong.
things are very confusing and chaotic, stressful on all of us.. how can i believe someone about being beat and raped while they can barley talk or stand? big stress.
i know this guy is horrible, a grade a piece of honeysuckle, trash, vile, shouldnt exist. i dont care to be harsh he's cause my loved one pain, and brought more stress to all of us pretty much. shes been living with him for idk how long, but they dated for along time awhile back, not sure what they were but im sure its been some weird messed up honeysuckle. again, hard to believe what she says, but her normal sober self i know, would not share all the details she does, yuck. ******* sick ***** **** it. it really makes me want to slap the fresia out of her, but mostly the accumulative of all the recent issues, and i did. its been many a times she comes home just to lay on the couch and talk honeysuckle hollering hysterically. again she would not keep talking about other things or people, i dont regret it and i think she deserved it. i really held back, just one good smack, broke her glasses unfortunately. we havent sit each other since i was like twelve, and her boyfriend (an adult) beat me up after. also a couple months ago when i had to grab her from being arrested, as soon as we left her ex's hosue, she wants me to let her out of my car so she can get her car...... uh? stupid, even if theres cops in sight watching us. idiot.
as im driving down the street, she opens the door to try and open it, i stoped so quick and grabbed her so fast, and aggressively, kind of in the moment and quick reflexes. that counts as a hit to her, eh.
anyways few yours before i started writing, we fought again. she comes over about saying no to her ex who was trying to have sex with her (she says rape, but no means no so yea) but as shes blabbering to my mom about it, and my mom asks questions, she mocks my mom, my mom has really broken english but we know her well enough and thats just rude. you want someones help but you're making a fool of your self so disrespectful. i rustled my jimmies, my mom trying to help and she mocks it? hmmm..... as im upstairs she talking more honeysuckle, im talking back, nothing bad, mostly witty come backs that put her in her place but hearing the truth makes her say "fresia you" and "*****" good one. i say "you wanna say that to my face?" "yea *****" i come down stair with my plate and cup from dinner, walk right up to her till my chest is on hers, she pushes my face and i drop my stuff, hard to say how it went next but my main goal was to put her down and subdue her, as im trying to maneuver somehow , and this.... take a moment..
she goes for the weak spot alrite, rather than hitting me any other way, she grabs by balls and squeezes. how low of her. i bend her hand back asap because she definitely hurt me, still hurts hours later.. if my child is born unhealthy, its because my sister squeezed my nuts. sick fresia.
but after grabbing my nuts it flicked the switch, beast mode is a go. i fell on the floor to escape her grip, got up grabbed her and threw her on the couch, super cushions. im on top holding her down, grab her glasses and throw them off, and i swing with all my force... and miss every time. at that moment i wanted blood, maybe death, ******* beast. but im glad i missed, i really am, she would have been messed up, after missing all 3 shots i got to push her face down until she simmers down, and i jump off of her. i try to walk away "yea walk away", i turn around and go directly to her and say "whats up you want me? im right here?" she leans on me and raises her arms to hug me, right thing to do would be hug her, but i didnt, still riled up i flick her away "you dont want me to touch you but you touching me?" last of that pretty much. while later she comes knocking on my door for markers and paper to draw, uh ok sure here you go. go away. then comes running back up, showing me her friends snapchat all goofy and cheerful, uh dude wtf? like whaaaaaaat the..... weird but ok, nice little make up moment, as we nerd out to it. she takes forever to leave this time, like i want her to goooooooooo but she wont shut the fresia up, super annoying. she goes, and comes back, startes blabbering about nonsense again and just making me upset now, pissing me off, like shut the fresia uppppp. nothing positive or for reason, nonsense plain garbage. more names, my exs name, another flick. stay cool and now i tell her to leave, get out, goooooo, go draw. finally peace.... right? this time i locked my door, thump, she tried walking in but now shes outside my door blabbering, not paying attention trying to finish typing this, yea i started typing after getting my nuts squeezed, still hurts. but now she complaining about my new neighbors that JUST moved in, one building, split down the middle, 2 families. thin walls pretty much, especially in the basement, where shes been hanging out, causing problems with them blabbering like wtf!!!!! she doesnt even live here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she has no respect where ever she stays, shes either "homless" or ******* people for a place to stay. but shes a slob leaving honeysuckle everywhere, you can tell when shes been there, she leaves tracks, easy trail.
but like come on now... this has been very very very stressful on ALL of us.. wtf man..
mom came home and now another battle ensues..
hell.