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Depressed and anxious about going back home
#1
Shy 
For the last two weeks, I've been visiting some family of mine and now I'm dreading going home tomorrow. It's funny actually. At first I couldn't decide whether I wanted to go at all and found myself in a really bad place. I ultimately decided to go and I'm really grateful for it. It's been a lot of fun and I've been able to shelf my depression and anxiety for a bit.

The problem is that I can feel it coming back with a vengeance now.  You see, my life is just a big mess right now. My social anxiety and depression has ruined everything. I've been unemployed for more than a year now and I have no social life at all. Just my close relatives and my dogs. My emotional state is all over the place.

I try to keep myself level by exercising a lot, gardening and staying busy, but that's not enough. I want more, but I no longer believe that I can actually make it happen. I guess that happens when you fail at something enough. You end up losing hope.

Any suggestions? A good book on depression and anxiety perhaps or personal experiences regarding treatments would be helpful.
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#2
I know someone that goes every week to a anxiety group.They find it great for interaction with fellow sufferers and the whole group seems to pull together to help each other.They had a Christmas party this year and said person really had a good conversation with someone that had recently joined sharing a simalar  story about the anxiety they suffer which really helped them both.

Have you a local group...maybe worth a try.
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#3
(01-05-2019, 09:34 PM)Joturbo Wrote: I know someone that goes every week to a anxiety group.They find it great for interaction with fellow sufferers and the whole group seems to pull together to help each other.They had a Christmas party this year and said person really had a good conversation with someone that had recently joined sharing a simalar  story about the anxiety they suffer which really helped them both.

Have you a local group...maybe worth a try.

I've always liked the idea of a support group, but I don't know of one nearby. Would give it a try though. I've been to therapists before, but with mixed results at best.
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#4
Yea it's funny reminded me last time we saw her we were a bit late getting back and she was worried about being late for her group almost like it was a drug.It must be great being comfortable with people like that like a group of friends .There's nothing like face to face interaction with people in the same boat.

I went to a AA meeting last year with a friend that was interested was a good meeting..but main thing was at the end a gent approached us and invited us out for a pub lunch with other members after the next scheduled meeting.I didn't take it up because I dunno me social anxiety not having a problem with alcohol anymore who knows.But if you can find a meeting just try it  could change your life Smile
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#5
(01-05-2019, 10:42 PM)Joturbo Wrote: Yea it's funny reminded me last time we saw her we were a bit late getting back and she was worried about being late for her group almost like it was a drug.It must be great being comfortable with people like that like a group of friends .There's nothing like face to face interaction with people in the same boat.

I went to a AA meeting last year with a friend that was interested was a good meeting..but main thing was at the end a gent approached us and invited us out for a pub lunch with other members after the next scheduled meeting.I didn't take it up because I dunno me social anxiety not having a problem with alcohol anymore who knows.But if you can find a meeting just try it  could change your life Smile

Yeah. I think a support group could work for me, but unfortunately there isn't one in my area. I just know I need to find something to help me move forward in some way. Everything feels stuck or broken at the moment.
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#6
Hello Baka,
I hope you are doing better today.
It's a little funny that I was going to say find a way to have money and that as I read, you mentionned you were unemployed.
People will say that money doesn't buy happiness but it couldn't be more wrong. Recently on Twitter there was a meme that had bottles on which were labelled "happiness", "life", etc, etc... At the bottom was written something like "you cannot buy with money a grain of any of those"...which I replied how false that statement was.
With money, you can go out and even if you don't meet the love of your life, you will meet some people - sometimes just saying "hello" to the waiter is enough for that evening. Money will get you better food, a nice place to live, good medication. It will make you live longer! Money will pay the dentist, pay for clothes, pay for some very stupid things that...do make you happy! I recently got myself 2 Alexas - ai speakers - I feel there is a presence with me - and it plays games, music, etc...
I was very depressed at some point in my life and...very broke. Today I think I'm still in "poor people bracket" but, in the upper part. I'm not rich but, anything I want to eat, any clothes I want - I can have anything. And...I feel good.
I know that they won't teach this but...in this World, money does buy happiness...
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#7
(01-06-2019, 11:14 AM)Know One Wrote: Hello Baka,
I hope you are doing better today.
It's a little funny that I was going to say find a way to have money and that as I read, you mentionned you were unemployed.
People will say that money doesn't buy happiness but it couldn't be more wrong.  Recently on Twitter there was a meme that had bottles on which were labelled "happiness", "life", etc, etc...  At the bottom was written something like "you cannot buy with money a grain of any of those"...which I replied how false that statement was.
With money, you can go out and even if you don't meet the love of your life, you will meet some people - sometimes just saying "hello" to the waiter is enough for that evening.  Money will get you better food, a nice place to live, good medication.  It will make you live longer!  Money will pay the dentist, pay for clothes, pay for some very stupid things that...do make you happy!  I recently got myself 2 Alexas - ai speakers - I feel there is a presence with me - and it plays games, music, etc...  
I was very depressed at some point in my life and...very broke.  Today I think I'm still in "poor people bracket" but, in the upper part.  I'm not rich but, anything I want to eat, any clothes I want - I can have anything.  And...I feel good.  
I know that they won't teach this but...in this World, money does buy happiness...

Hi. It's been a really bad one unfortunately. Traveled back home today and as expected, I got very little sleep last night and anxiety struck hard on the road.

I agree. Money and especially work is important, but I also had problems even when things were better financially.

Thanks for the reply though.
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#8
So ... it seems like we're in a similar spot right now, except you seem to be handling this a lot better than I am, lol.

I'm not so sure about this whole "money is the ultimate solution" idea. Sure, it's more comfortable to cry in a new Porsche than on a second hand bike, but I'd lie if I said that I'm destitute and yet it didn't seem to do much to improve my situation by a whole lot. It's more like "I had a better meal than usual, it was nice at the moment but now it's back to badness again". Attitude definitely makes a change, but when you've a crippling anxiety and serious depression ... yeah, good look with positive thinking.

I've tried the books in the past, but I think it actually backfired instead of helping because it made my think that I should be able to fix those problems ... and I wasn't. It felt like I've just spent money to make myself feel worse. Then again, it's quite likely that the english speaking crowd has access to something better than I did at the time.

Sorry, wish I could offer any real help. If there's any advice I could share, based on my personal experience: don't do what I did - don't give up.
Crowd control situation! *machine gun fire intensifies*
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#9
(01-07-2019, 03:21 PM)X-1 Alpha Wrote: So ... it seems like we're in a similar spot right now, except you seem to be handling this a lot better than I am, lol.

I'm not so sure about this whole "money is the ultimate solution" idea. Sure, it's more comfortable to cry in a new Porsche than on a second hand bike, but I'd lie if I said that I'm starving for income and yet it didn't seem to do much to improve my situation by a whole lot. It's more like "I had a better meal than usual, it was nice at the moment but now it's back to badness again". Attitude definitely makes a change, but when you've a crippling anxiety and serious depression ... yeah, good look with positive thinking.

I've tried the books in the past, but I think it actually backfired instead of helping because it made my think that I should be able to fix those problems ... and I wasn't. It felt like I've just spent money to make myself feel worse. Then again, it's quite likely that the english speaking crowd has access to something better than I did at the time.

Sorry, wish I could offer any real help. If there's any advice I could share, based on my personal experience: don't do what I did - don't give up.

Hi. I don't know. I think my mom & co would disagree about me handling it well. I'm in a total flat spin at the moment. Struggling to keep my eyes open, but can't sleep much. Trying to find a therapist I can see today, because I don't want to burden them more than I already am.

What are you going through atm?
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#10
Well, you know ... at least you're still trying.

In the past 7 years I've worked for literally 2 months. It's also very rare for me to leave the house anymore. I've mild depression (used to be much worse), severe anxiety and I'm also an insomniac.

Education wise I had some pretty bad luck.
Tried to become a security guard/private investigator, spent some money on the courses and had to cancel because when I was about halfway done, the new regulations came in, taking away most of the privileges while also adding many obligations and restrictions to what was already a sub-optimal career choice. (the pay was waaay below average) I've decided to cut my losses and stop, because it'd take me a few years of work in poor conditions to not even make a profit - just to pay for the school.
Then I took a 2 year long course to become a health and safety inspector, which I've managed to pass with very good results. So of course, about 3 months after - new regulations. Removing the necessity of employing a H&S inspector unless the workplace employed more than 20 people, which basically meant that unless I'm willing to put in additional 6 years of study to raise my qualifications - there was no chance of employment.
So then I've tried to finish an administration/office worker/archivist course but the school was shut down after the first semester. Yay.

Currently the only way I'd get any work would be to become an intern (3-6 months at 1/3 of minimum wage), which I've decided to try (hence the 2 months of work) but in short - it didn't work out too well.

I've some minor bank savings in case of emergency and my family's providing for my daily expenses, but that's not really a long term solution.

I'm basically done at this point.
Crowd control situation! *machine gun fire intensifies*
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