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Depressed and anxious about going back home
#11
(01-08-2019, 01:16 AM)X-1 Alpha Wrote: Well, you know ... at least you're still trying.

In the past 7 years I've worked for literally 2 months. It's also very rare for me to leave the house anymore. I've mild depression (used to be much worse), severe anxiety and I'm also an insomniac.

Education wise I had some pretty bad luck.
Tried to become a security guard/private investigator, spent some money on the courses and had to cancel because when I was about halfway done, the new regulations came in, taking away most of the privileges while also adding many obligations and restrictions to what was already a sub-optimal career choice. (the pay was waaay below average) I've decided to cut my losses and stop, because it'd take me a few years of work in poor conditions to not even make a profit - just to pay for the school.
Then I took a 2 year long course to become a health and safety inspector, which I've managed to pass with very good results. So of course, about 3 months after - new regulations. Removing the necessity of employing a H&S inspector unless the workplace employed more than 20 people, which basically meant that unless I'm willing to put in additional 6 years of study to raise my qualifications - there was no chance of employment.
So then I've tried to finish an administration/office worker/archivist course but the school was shut down after the first semester. Yay.

Currently the only way I'd get any work would be to become an intern (3-6 months at 1/3 of minimum wage), which I've decided to try (hence the 2 months of work) but in short - it didn't work out too well.

I've some minor bank savings in case of emergency and my family's providing for my daily expenses, but that's not really a long term solution.

I'm basically done at this point.

Yeah, my one year of unemployment doesn't compare to that. I think what's adding to my anxiety and depression though is that I tried working for myself between 2014 and 2017, but that ended in failure. The last time I really worked full time was October 2013. It all ads up in the end I think.

Anyway, found someone to see tomorrow morning. Will see how it goes. Another doctor even suggested being admitted to a psychiatric hospital for a short observation, but that scares me.
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#12
I fight my depression by building confidence through increasing proficiency my craft.

I also train 5 times a week.
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