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Too much time on my hands: Famous Fictional Characters Romances Brought To Life!

Hope this is not too crazy...  Follow me for a few seconds and lets have fun!

I was thinking of how some fictional characters' stories/romances always have a positive ending or one in which they look valiant in respect of how we are supposed to perceive them.  However, I think that in real life, it would another story.  So...let me show you what I mean by the following!

Eventually, I don't think Superman would be a hero...he'd be fed up of saving what he'd consider ants.  He wouldn't be a villain either - too much trouble for nothing - if he wanted the crown of England he could just pick it up at super-speed incognito.  He'd just be an ass.  One day around that time of illumination, Lois Lane would fall off a plane one would be there to catch her.  Superman would only pick up whores and...he'd never have aids because of his super-immuno system...

Ok..that went well...  Number 2...

Speaking of Aids...  James Bond would die at the ripe old age of 24 or 25 years old.  Katrina Nadia Kolomenski, a soviet spy supposed to shoot him...would instead sleep with him and...give him an unwanted "present"...  James Bond would later have a sore throat that would persist and...eventually, 008 would take over the investigation...

Maybe we are not so bad being alone after all...

Still there?

Because Wolverine's claws are a voluntary and involuntary contraction, while having sex, he would always lose control at some point and...his partners would end up looking like shredded chicken...

Do you have any characters that you think might have problems with relationships?
Well, I have to disagree with the Superman one. Superman is an alien. The new "reboot" has him portrayed in the "angry God" way, but that's kind of contrary to what the point of the comics were; an outsider's view on humanity, but not only that, a means and a way to change things. Not caring? Nope, I don't think it'd go that way. In fact, I'd think it'd go COMPLETELY the other way lol. Eg, Superman becomes a rather tyranical, unstoppable force, so righteously convinced of his good intentions et destroys all weapons, bans all crimes and pretty much becomes a tyranical dictator....for the greater good. Lois probably would be locked in an ivory tower.

James Bond wouldn't die that way either. I think it would actually be more likely to stick with one of the original Fleming novels, where he gets brainwashed by SMERSH and tries to assassinate M. Somehow, some way, he'd get turned against his country, or bought, ir extorted. Then shot by a random sniper while he's drunk outside of a bar.

Wolverine should've stuck with fighting thebHulk. Only reason he became a good guy was fans back then got into the whole antimhero is cool thing. Theoratically Hulk should've tossed him through space At about the size of a marshmellow lol.

I'd like to toss Batman in there. The logical conclusion to a vigilante storyline, much like the original comics were in the 50s, would have Batman cutting criminals to ribbons. Probably to eventually be shot in a ditch somewhere by Gotham PD for numerous murders, including ones the PD would have no proof of guiltbfor some of them. Because Batman wasnt really big on law until Adam West and Burt Ward ;-)
I doubt he'd even date much. That much anger really isn't condusive to a lot of tender moments
Thanks for your input Rich!

Here are a few more I quickly thought of...

Archie Andrews would end up being shot by either Veronica or Betty for having played them both for years.

Darth Vader light sabers his brains out because even if he has the galaxy no one will willfully ever love him.

Woody Woodpecker doesn't even get anywhere - someone just shoots him because he wants to sleep...

Captain Kirk gets space gonorrhoea and his privates catch on fire.

Mick Jagger...ok...I wish I was Mick Jagger...

...moving on...

Mickey Mouse ends up losing his fortune because mouses can be very fertile and Minnie gets tired of his parties, his fooling around with Daisy Duck, drugs and so on. By the time he's 45 he ods...

Pink Panther also has it rough. After not making any more movies for the last 20 years or so, he develops manic depression, alcool abuse and...hangs himself. People can pay tribute by sending donations to AA and a service will be held next Sunday...

Lemme try to infuse a bit of positiveness here...

Mr Data from tng meets a very squared and logic Mac. They end producing 3 beautiful chips.

Captain Crunch meets Frankenberry, they suprisingly hit it off but, unsuprisingly do not have any kids...

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