I will be the end of my family line

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Matt L

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I'm the only son so its up to me to continue the family. I really don't care all that much. My family has never amounted to anything. Still, it does depress me knowing that over the years my family has survived through wars, famine, and disease but it couldn't survive my awkwardness and social ineptitude. I'm a failure.
 
I read your post earlier and didn’t know what to write, not sure I got any sensible thing to say today either.
At least I see your words.
*wave*
Hello, my name is Jessi.
I feel like a failure too. 
❤️
 
I can relate. I'll be 33 this year, never had a relationship. My sister is paralyzed in a wheelchair, she's never having kids. I have 1 cousin, all my other aunts and uncles live alone, never had any childen. I feel bad for my parents, they've been though a lot with me and my sister, I'd hate to disappoint them if they could never have any grandkids, but it is what it is. I don't want to have kids just for the sake of having kids
 
Don't count yourself out yet! I was 40 when I had my first child... I never thought I was going to have kids either...
 
Same here. My sister and I are both failed losers and will not be breeding. The mistake shouldn't be continued so in a way it's a good thing in our case.
 
Same here too. I'll never have children and neither will my one surviving brother. My deceased brother had a daughter who's been in and out of jail and drug rehab for years....he cut her out of his will even. Actually my family should die out.....we're all misfits and losers one way or another.
 
Ok, once again I'll come in late with an added perspective.  And being far older than you Matt L and still single, I know much about going through life with no love, family, or success in finding a mate.  The others make a few valid points I'll reiterate first.

A man matures, changes, and generally improves with age.  He can and should at least.  Young as you are, you have potentially many jobs, different living environments, and female encounters to look forward to.  And as you get older, wiser, emotionally stronger, and hopefully better as a person, you may find a permanent successful relationship that leads to a normal, happy, family of your own some day.  Thus, don't consider the game over yet when you've only just begun to play.  You're in your prime through your 20's, 30's, and 40's, so no feelings of relationship failure permanency in life are warranted until you enter your 50's or 60's at least.  Since situations and people change, your future outcome is not necessarily dictated by your past and present conditions.  I'd suggest that that you recognize the time scale of life far beyond where you're looking and living now.  Doing so leaves room then for realistic optimism that you very well can and may find a good wife to help carry your genes on.  My own sister didn't marry and have her first child til 42, with a second one at 45 - a bit late and challenging for a woman perhaps, but not so for a man.  My brother didn't marry til he was in his 50's.  And I have 2 american friends in their 60's with young Thai wives.  Life is full of surprise encounters and relationship possibilities.  You have many to come, both good and bad, so stay optimistic and embrace good changes that may improve your life circumstances.

Being alone, single, and too old to consider being a father, I have my own feelings of disappointment in not passing on my name, good genes, and values in life that mean a lot to me.  All my great career awards, pictures in life, prized possessions, and personal momentos are set to be thrown in the trash when I die.  I have no one who cares or would want any of it.  No one to care about me when I'm old and decrepid, and certainly no one to miss me or tend my grave when I'm gone.  That is the sad reality for those of us without family, but I'm far more committed to that destiny at my older age than you are.  The thing is though, I don't judge my life's worth on that one category.  Sure, having no family is a huge deficiency in life, but it's only one part of the package we inherit here.  And in my case, I was blessed with an extraordinary career and outdoor life of trips, fun, and adventure, along with many good friends along the way that I've tried to maintain.  Still, even these things are not the standard by which I judge myself as a success or failure.  These are all worldy, temporary things that make life more or less enjoyable for us, but they're not what define us.  At the expense of making some folks uncomfortable for a moment, let me make my final point.

Our entire purpose in life is to know and love the Lord, and to serve him by loving others.  Making your life count, being productive, and living a successful life is NOT determined by your career, finances, social status - or family.  These things certainly affect how we live life for worse or better, but they aren't the final judge of who we are and what we did with our lives.  They do not determine whether we are a success or failure.  Understand that, whether you find a mate in life, have a family of your own, or not, has little to do with whether you're a success or failure.  If you want to be a success rather than a self claimed failure, then lead a productive life of focusing on your creator, Lord, and savior.  That's the number one relationship that matters.  Girlfriends, family, friends, and others come after that.   When you have the first relationship right, it really helps instill a feeling of self worth and confidence, along with the strength to guide us through life's disappointments and challenges.  And usually, the other relationships become more numerous and worthwhile too.  It's a good path to be on in life.  You needn't be or even feel like a failure from any of life's circumstances.  Success is available to us all from God.  You just have to let him in.
 
Wow, this is something I can relate to.  As an older woman not married , no kids I truly see much of my life as failing myself.  I struggle everyday with this.  The saddest thing is that it could have happened I had many chances but so lost in my sadness/depression/anger that I could not appreciate the gifts that had come into my life.  

You do have time, even I have time maybe not to physically have my own but I could adopt :) But you have time, the hardest thing is to get out there and date and accept that those
people that don't work out its not the end. One  or two people are not the end all and be all for your chance to get what you want.  I struggle with being stuck every day, I am slowly pushing myself to get out of "my comfort zone" that protects me... BUT it keep me trapped and lonely. 

My mantra is that I am worthy of being loved, to give love and receive love -- I will not be alone.  I hope you can find it within you to get out there and try.  Some days will be better than others, the world may not seem so nice, people may not seem to nice and on those hard days give your self a little break but don't give up.  What does your heart most desire?
find that hold on to that and know it will get better, stay positive my friend!!!

If you want to ever reach out and chat about this I am here, happy to lend an ear, and open heart :)
 
Im ending my family line and couldn't give a hoot :D and whose line is it anyway and how far back do you go?.....could trace origins to whatever crawled out of the primordial ooze. The humans have the stage at the mo but not for long as its a ridiculous pantomime and cant imagine the other residents of this little planet asking for an encore.
 In an evolutionary scale of things we are just a blink of an eye and a billion years from now there wont even be a trace that we were ever here......not even your Aunty flo's wedgewood teapots :D .
 
Dinosaurs didn't totally vanish as their descendants the birds are still around- a bit of re-evolution and presto emu's are allosaurs and maybe that'll produce a intelligent lifeform which is harmonious and non toxic to its environment.  The whole human saga is just a blip in the dinosaur time line....wheeled on stage for a bit of comic relief. :D
 
Real talk though, maybe yea, same here. But it's not something that's your responsibility.
 

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