Does anyone ever feel deprived of physical contact?

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user 150037

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It just dawned on me how desperate I am for human affection.

Most of the time I can go without really thinking about it.  But when I do it drives me crazy - I feel like I am imprisoned in a glass dome that prevents me from ever reaching out and touching anyone.  My mother hugs me if I offer it, but there's only so much physical affection you can get from a family member before it gets weird.  whenever I visit my brother or sister it's a quick 'buddy' hug - nothing more. Cos, again, anything too deep would be weird.  There isn't really anyone else that I can receive physical contact from.

What do you do to stop yourself from being driven mad by lack of affection?
 
*Virtual hug*

I actually contemplated using a spare foam pillow as a 'hug buddy'. Sad, right?
 
when girls would say bye to me we'd touch cheek to cheek and that feels incredible. and when i would sell tickets at the theater i would feel good when girl would touch my hand :)D
 
It goes away after a long enough time and, eventually you forget entirely what it's like. I suppose it's better than the lingering feeling of desire. It took me about two and a half to three years to adjust and get used to it. Up until that point though, yes, it was maddening. Enough so that I'm actually on the fence about putting myself into a position where I'd have to go through that feeling again out of potential false hope. No hope is better than false hope, IMO, because at least no hope is definitive. No hope doesn't bother me, ******** bother me. lol.
 
Yea most days I try not to think but when I do it kills me how affection starved I am. I can’t remember the last time I was even kissed that wasn’t just one of those faux friendly kisses. Things like cuddling, holding, etc are completely out of the question for me.
 
hewhowalksalone said:
*Virtual hug*

I actually contemplated using a spare foam pillow as a 'hug buddy'.  Sad, right?

Sad? Don’t think that’s sad at all. 
I got one already. It’s not one of those foam thingys but just one of my regular pillows.
I take good care of him, never let him touch the ground. I hug and squeeze him and tell him (yes, it’s a he) that I love him. 
I even danced for him. ❤️
And yes, I can see all the crazy chick alarms going off. 😜
 
Yes. For me, the lack of physical contact, and affectionate contact at that, is a big contributor to my depression and loneliness. I will be 43 soon, and I can't remember what I hug feels like. As far as I remember, I can only recall getting 1 hug in my life, and that was from my nan, back in 1996. But I can't remember what it felt like. I've never held hands. Never cuddled. Haven't had my first kiss. Not that I haven't wanted to, just that I have never found a woman who wants to share those things with me. All my life from adolescence onward I was told that if I wanted to be touched, to feel contact with another person, that I would have to go and pay for it. That it would have to be a cold, meaningless business transaction, nothing more. That that was all I deserved really.

I used to hug pillows. Sometimes would hug those big packs of toilet paper. But yeah, nothing really takes the place of that human contact ... even when you've never really had any, you crave something you've never known.
 
She's just a foam pillow - my imagination kind of has to do the rest. lol. There's nothing to mimic those luscious plump lips of hers.

I'm beginning to feel like I'm taking my dirty jokes a bit too far...
 
hewhowalksalone said:
It just dawned on me how desperate I am for human affection.

Most of the time I can go without really thinking about it.  But when I do it drives me crazy - I feel like I am imprisoned in a glass dome that prevents me from ever reaching out and touching anyone.  My mother hugs me if I offer it, but there's only so much physical affection you can get from a family member before it gets weird.  whenever I visit my brother or sister it's a quick 'buddy' hug - nothing more.  Cos, again, anything too deep would be weird.  There isn't really anyone else that I can receive physical contact from.

What do you do to stop yourself from being driven mad by lack of affection?

I've been alone for 13 years now. If it weren't for my dog, I don't know how I would get through each day. Having pets in your life makes a world of difference folks! And scientifically proven. I also find volunteering in a wildlife center or your local Humane Society helping animals is very gratifying and fulfilling. Helping animals can fill a huge void in your life, I swear by it! Nothing like that feeling when you help an animal. About a 1 1/2 ago, I started to board a horse. I used to ride many years ago but got back into it. I'm glad I did. Most folks are much younger than me so I haven't made any friends but it gives me something to do by myself (or I join a trail ride) and nothing like the spirit of a horse to give you a boost of energy. 

 One of my resolutions this year is to join some clubs or groups of my interest through meetup.com. Like ghost hunting? There is a group for that. Like canoeing, hiking or camping? There is a group for that. Book groups, movie groups, mom groups, single groups, dog groups, coffee groups, skiing etc....basically, whatever your interest or hobbies are , there is a group on meetup.com for you. Have no one to travel with? There is a group for that too. Go to the site, open an account, enter in your interests and the kilometers from your home that you would like the group to be near and it will give you suggested groups to join based on your choices. You get weekly emails for dates to go to places, do things with others and so on. Now I sound like a commercial but I thank god for that website. I hope that helps. Take it from someone who has been around the loneliness for many years. I got good at it.
 
As a nearly middle aged man, talking about being "deprived" of physical contact is invariably going to get me labelled a pervert and I'd rather not have to deal with that.
 
Yeah, I came back on having thought about it, and you may be right, Joturbo. Thanks.

Don't worry, Ardour, I didn't say anything nasty or insulting. I just misunderstood what you said, that's all.
 
Don’t get why someone would call you a pervert cause you miss physical contact. 
That’s a basic need. We all crave to feel wanted, needed and...loved.
Some more and some less, but it’s still there within us all. ❤️
 
ardour said:
A nearly middle aged man talking about being "deprived" of physical contact is invariably going to get labelled a pervert and I've rather not deal with that.

I would have understood if he'd said it about my 'Scarlett Pillhohansson' gag. lol.
 
oh yea, i don't know how i'd be right now if it wasn't for my dog.
 

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