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well, oh well
#1
I go back and forth.  I'm 53, I can retire at 55. I finally have a good girl, and would like to retire and have fun with her, like alot of people my age who have been at a job for 30 fucking years. I'm sick of this job, I hate the staff, I hate this place, I'm burned out. Retiring sounds good except I'm a low level supervisor. I took this job in 91, and I'm still here, same job. I make good money, but it's not "good money" as the world sees. In my adult years this is the best I've ever been financially, my ex wife siphoned off our money for 23 years...and I'm resentful.

To the point, my new supervisor, (last one retired) is early 30s and very idealistic, but in sinc with the new way of thinking for this generation. He likes...or liked me until he got to know me better. He likes and trusts my honesty and judgment, but dislikes (I think) my personality.  I'm very very blunt in an honest way. Another thing, there's more women here, like 10 to 1, and they ALL have a fucking crush on him, it's super annoying, yet this has been my easiest year here...in all of the years because all these stuck up bitches have on their minds is him.  He's ok, good person....his values are good values, they mirror my own.  

My wife works here, and a young girl came into her dept, and has a huge crush on this guy...and made if obvious.  He liked it, and when my my wife and I married...that happened when he first started, he was all into it....Said alot about how much of a great role model I'd be to her children, how much he knew I'd take care of her,..... etc

Now....all he cares about is that fucking young girl who doesn't like to work, my wife does 75% of what needs doing in that dept, yet that bitch gets all the credit.   

Whatever, I have choice....retire at 55 which gives me a year and a half to put in the paperwork, or just stay and keep working here burned out.  I know once I leave, it's done. All those fringe benefits are over, the money, the security, over.   I thought about retiring and taking all that incentive money and just getting another job. The problem there is I will end up retiring and working more....

Either I take the money and leave, or stay and make my state retirement richer staying into my 60's.  There are people here retiring and taking world trips...I'm not that rich.  I have plenty of money to pay for things, within reason. Actually I'm probably living finally like all of you live. Normally

Anyway, my new boss, I feel is tired of me and my co-worker, I really feel he'd like to replace us both. 

Whatever my friends - I am so used to people not liking me it isn't funny.  My 20's, my 50's it's a pattern that follows me. I warned my girlfriend before she married me,  get ready for people where we work to distance themselves because of me.  It's happened.

I just blurted this all out, without really thinking about it.  Give feedback as you feel is right.
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#2
Seems like you are in a pickle. 🤓 ahh.. was waiting to use that word.
Aaaanyways.
Guess it all comes down to what you need the most. Do you need the money more or do you need to gtf out of that place. 
I haven’t got much experience with work situations but I think any benefits you get is based on what the boss thinks of you and not what’s fair. Sadly. That goes for a lot of stuff in life. Fair and earned isn’t always the giver. 
Seems like you are exited to spend your time with your wife! That great. I hope you have lots of fun together. 
The good years seems to be in front of you.

Just leaving a paw print. 
🌈
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#3
(02-01-2019, 09:26 AM)morrowrd Wrote: I go back and forth.  I'm 53, I can retire at 55. I finally have a good girl, and would like to retire and have fun with her, like alot of people my age who have been at a job for 30 fucking years. I'm sick of this job, I hate the staff, I hate this place, I'm burned out. Retiring sounds good except I'm a low level supervisor. I took this job in 91, and I'm still here, same job. I make good money, but it's not "good money" as the world sees. In my adult years this is the best I've ever been financially, my ex wife siphoned off our money for 23 years...and I'm resentful.

To the point, my new supervisor, (last one retired) is early 30s and very idealistic, but in sinc with the new way of thinking for this generation. He likes...or liked me until he got to know me better. He likes and trusts my honesty and judgment, but dislikes (I think) my personality.  I'm very very blunt in an honest way. Another thing, there's more women here, like 10 to 1, and they ALL have a fucking crush on him, it's super annoying, yet this has been my easiest year here...in all of the years because all these stuck up bitches have on their minds is him.  He's ok, good person....his values are good values, they mirror my own.  

My wife works here, and a young girl came into her dept, and has a huge crush on this guy...and made if obvious.  He liked it, and when my my wife and I married...that happened when he first started, he was all into it....Said alot about how much of a great role model I'd be to her children, how much he knew I'd take care of her,..... etc

Now....all he cares about is that fucking young girl who doesn't like to work, my wife does 75% of what needs doing in that dept, yet that bitch gets all the credit.   

Whatever, I have choice....retire at 55 which gives me a year and a half to put in the paperwork, or just stay and keep working here burned out.  I know once I leave, it's done. All those fringe benefits are over, the money, the security, over.   I thought about retiring and taking all that incentive money and just getting another job. The problem there is I will end up retiring and working more....

Either I take the money and leave, or stay and make my state retirement richer staying into my 60's.  There are people here retiring and taking world trips...I'm not that rich.  I have plenty of money to pay for things, within reason. Actually I'm probably living finally like all of you live. Normally

Anyway, my new boss, I feel is tired of me and my co-worker, I really feel he'd like to replace us both. 

Whatever my friends - I am so used to people not liking me it isn't funny.  My 20's, my 50's it's a pattern that follows me. I warned my girlfriend before she married me,  get ready for people where we work to distance themselves because of me.  It's happened.

I just blurted this all out, without really thinking about it.  Give feedback as you feel is right.

Hi morrowrd....

I'd like to comment on your situation because simalar to you the shit has sort of hit the fan in my job too.My job has always been quite stressful but the difference being I don't regret the last twenty five years in the same job because it's always been my passion .Being self employed has always been a struggle money wise but the last five years and the opportunities to freshen up my work has brought decent money and the chances now to really enjoy life with holidays , bucket list stuff I can't wait to do with my wife.

So I'm determined to ride this crappy wave in my work life , be it through changing my work methods and just compromising with my new boss , because being near your age too I want to enjoy my years with like you the most important thing in my life my wonderful partner.I want to make life easier for her ,preserve her , because she is my life and to do that I need good money it's the only way because without it life is just a struggle. 

Upshot is no matter how much stress and difficulties my new boss gives me I got to plough on because there is no alternative for me ,you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

I'm sure like me with your lovely lady behind you can do it whichever direction you choose..good luck mate.
  Our greatest Glory is not in never falling , but
       in rising every time we fall
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#4
(02-01-2019, 10:21 AM)Jessicat Wrote: Seems like you are in a pickle. 🤓 ahh.. was waiting to use that word.
Aaaanyways.
Guess it all comes down to what you need the most. Do you need the money more or do you need to gtf out of that place. 
I haven’t got much experience with work situations but I think any benefits you get is based on what the boss thinks of you and not what’s fair. Sadly. That goes for a lot of stuff in life. Fair and earned isn’t always the giver. 
Seems like you are exited to spend your time with your wife! That great. I hope you have lots of fun together. 
The good years seems to be in front of you.

Just leaving a paw print. 
🌈

I do need money, and I am afraid of retiring into a life of need and borderline poverty.  While I was married before, we went from check to check, shutoff notices, owing thousands to the irs and having bank accounts frozen, every single account in my name was behind or near default.  I blame myself for turning bill paying over to my wife when we first married, and she ran the finances into the ground - I never knew how much we had.  The occasional windfalls would disappear quickly, and it just sucks because all those years of living hand to mouth, we could have been living well.  After she left, I slowly rebuilt my credit, and bank account, but I have no real nest egg and at this age, that's dangerous. (I consider a savings of a few hundred thou - a nest egg for someone who's worked this long at one job)

As far as the rest goes, I know now what it's like to truly be in love with someone, what it's like to truly be happy.  She's such a good wife to me, so pretty and nurturing.  She's an excellent life helper and partner, and I want to just love and enjoy her doing fun things. However, I hate feeling like I have to be thrifty after spending my whole adult life doing that.  And then retiring to make two checks, yet starting another job means I'm starting as the newbie, have to earn vacation time and better hours.  This job I have maxed out how much vacation time I can collect, which is three and a half weeks. I have hundreds of sick days banked, work is 5 minutes away, and I am out and on my way home every day at 3pm. Never have to work weekends. So...I will be retiring into a life of less time to enjoy things and I hesitate. It's not an easy choice.

Weekends are datenights...the whole weekend.  So it's mini road trips, shopping trips, going out to eat, eating in and watching movies, all kinds of intimate alone time, and we are happy together.  I'd hate to lose all that time, just to make more money and as bad as this place is, there are too many fringe benefits.  My co worker and I were talking retirement yesterday, and he sees my fix too.  I also am considering just staying into my 60's and shrug it all off.  Live for the evenings and weekends.

Of late, I told my wife that it's time to get her children off video games once in awhile.  I proposed a "dungeons and dragons" party - the old fashioned way, you know with graph paper and the famous d&d dice.  I still have all my "stuff" from 1980 - the original boxed set, dice, and the B1 & B2 Dungeon modules. (who remembers keep on the borderlands?)  I have all the original rulebooks, so last weekend, all of us played.  And that's all any of them have been talking about.  We might just play all weekend starting tonight, since this wonderful "vortex" is here.

Anyway, another long winded response.   Thanks for your feedback.
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#5
(02-01-2019, 11:46 AM)Joturbo Wrote:
(02-01-2019, 09:26 AM)morrowrd Wrote: I go back and forth.  I'm 53, I can retire at 55. I finally have a good girl, and would like to retire and have fun with her, like alot of people my age who have been at a job for 30 fucking years. I'm sick of this job, I hate the staff, I hate this place, I'm burned out. Retiring sounds good except I'm a low level supervisor. I took this job in 91, and I'm still here, same job. I make good money, but it's not "good money" as the world sees. In my adult years this is the best I've ever been financially, my ex wife siphoned off our money for 23 years...and I'm resentful.

To the point, my new supervisor, (last one retired) is early 30s and very idealistic, but in sinc with the new way of thinking for this generation. He likes...or liked me until he got to know me better. He likes and trusts my honesty and judgment, but dislikes (I think) my personality.  I'm very very blunt in an honest way. Another thing, there's more women here, like 10 to 1, and they ALL have a fucking crush on him, it's super annoying, yet this has been my easiest year here...in all of the years because all these stuck up bitches have on their minds is him.  He's ok, good person....his values are good values, they mirror my own.  

My wife works here, and a young girl came into her dept, and has a huge crush on this guy...and made if obvious.  He liked it, and when my my wife and I married...that happened when he first started, he was all into it....Said alot about how much of a great role model I'd be to her children, how much he knew I'd take care of her,..... etc

Now....all he cares about is that fucking young girl who doesn't like to work, my wife does 75% of what needs doing in that dept, yet that bitch gets all the credit.   

Whatever, I have choice....retire at 55 which gives me a year and a half to put in the paperwork, or just stay and keep working here burned out.  I know once I leave, it's done. All those fringe benefits are over, the money, the security, over.   I thought about retiring and taking all that incentive money and just getting another job. The problem there is I will end up retiring and working more....

Either I take the money and leave, or stay and make my state retirement richer staying into my 60's.  There are people here retiring and taking world trips...I'm not that rich.  I have plenty of money to pay for things, within reason. Actually I'm probably living finally like all of you live. Normally

Anyway, my new boss, I feel is tired of me and my co-worker, I really feel he'd like to replace us both. 

Whatever my friends - I am so used to people not liking me it isn't funny.  My 20's, my 50's it's a pattern that follows me. I warned my girlfriend before she married me,  get ready for people where we work to distance themselves because of me.  It's happened.

I just blurted this all out, without really thinking about it.  Give feedback as you feel is right.

Hi morrowrd....

I'd like to comment on your situation because simalar to you the shit has sort of hit the fan in my job too.My job has always been quite stressful but the difference being I don't regret the last twenty five years in the same job because it's always been my passion .Being self employed has always been a struggle money wise but the last five years and the opportunities to freshen up my work has brought decent money and the chances now to really enjoy life with holidays , bucket list stuff I can't wait to do with my wife.

So I'm determined to ride this crappy wave in my work life , be it through changing my work methods and just compromising with my new boss , because being near your age too I want to enjoy my years with like you the most important thing in my life my wonderful partner.I want to make life easier for her ,preserve her , because she is my life and to do that I need good money it's the only way because without it life is just a struggle. 

Upshot is no matter how much stress and difficulties my new boss gives me I got to plough on because there is no alternative for me ,you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

I'm sure like me with your lovely lady behind you can do it whichever direction you choose..good luck mate.

Good feedback and advice. I too have been struggling to change my work methods, and perspective to try and make it as fresh as possible.  It does sound like we have things in common.  I appreciate my wife so much, probably because I feel grateful to be happy...for a change.  And like yourself, I want to make her life better, easier.  I remember looking at her "from afar" when we were just co workers and thinking how lucky that guy was, her boyfriend, when they became engaged.  Of course I was married at the time, and she's the type who I felt would never be interested in me "that way" - beautiful women always have plenty of male options.  So we were "friends" - and shared alot of personal things while on breaks together.  As time went on, after my divorce I dated alot, got into a few relationships, and I shared these experiences with her, and she began to disclose her concerns about her marriage being abusive.  Abusive as in being battered.  I couldn't believe it - the guy has unresolved anger issues and for anyone who knows anything about abusers and domestic violence victims, this one was right out of the textbooks.  I could predict her husband's "next move" abusively speaking....giving her a heads up. And she was amazed, yet I told her it's not clairvoyance, it's human behavior....abusers and victims follow similar patterns, the whole world over.  And as we shared, we began to get close.  One day, she showed up at my "dungeon office" I call it, my coworker and I were shooting the shit and she comes in blushing, asking for some paperwork that she could pick up anywhere.  I smile and hand her some forms, and she smiles and turns and actually runs out of my office.  My co workers smiling at me, and I go, "hmmmm, what do you think about that?"  and he replies....."I don't know (name), she's hot, and she'll never cheat on you."   

And that was the beginning.  She started texting me out of the blue about non work things, and I replied back.  After awhile, I asked her (through the texting) if she would ever date me if she was single.  She said yes, and that she's liked me and crushed on me for as long as she's been there.  Shes been jealous when I was dating others, wishing it was her riding in the truck beside me.  

Then the story goes on....to her escaping that marriage, I helped her obviously.   Her ex husband - I have been very blunt with over the three years about his anger being his problem.  And at one point I told him, you lost your wife because of your anger, want to lose more?  My wife says I'm the first who has ever stood my ground and confronted him, and I'm the only one he's ever listened to.  I know he hates me for taking his wife, but this is one domestic violence situation that turned out better than any I have ever seen before.  The two of them communicate over parenting, so there's co parenting going on.  I insert myself as needed, her young son has changed - used to have temper tantrums.  That whole story is another for another time - I spent alot of time with him trying to stabilize things. I contacted her ex's counselor three years ago when we first started dating..that counselor also did couples counseling with those two, and it never amounted to any real change.  Yet I wanted everyone in counseling and who better than that particular counselor who knew the back story.

anyway, I'm way off track.  I do this in real life too...part of my personal reform was to stop talking so much.  And occasionally I'll catch myself.

Thank you for sharing, it's nice to have others who understand because they're going through the same thing.
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#6
So warming to read that! ❤️
Wish I knew how to play D&D.
Keep on trucking. 🌈
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#7
Eh, just let your new boss fall into his own grave face first. He'll figure it out, eventually, likely when it's too late. By the time he gets to be about your age, maybe he'll understand better having suffered similarly by then. MOST of my generation (I'm 30) is more idealistic than work and life experienced. The reality of the matter though is unfortunately that new group of people ever sat in front of lumber, bricks, concrete, shingles, paint, plumbing pipes, electric lines and looked in awe as all of the work magically did itself. Even though we are in the information era, there are certain aspects that cannot be replaced from industrial design. Hard work comes in the form of human maintenance, and is thusly impossible to eliminate entirely. Suppose we have machines and open artificial intelligence to do all of the tasks we need done....somebody somewhere, would still have to troubleshoot and perform maintenance on such robotics, regardless of them being sophisticated electronics or complex machinery. There's just no easy way out of the spectrum. He'll figure it out eventually. I learned it earlier on in part of desire to and in part of the fact that I just grew up rough, having to work and having to fight to get ahead and stay ahead. After a while, it just becomes kind of a lifestyle.
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
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