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Could our thinking be trapped in a cage?
#1
I'm dealing with a lot of these issues myself. One thing I'm noticing about myself is that my lifestyle isn't really allowing me to gain the tools I need in order to properly communicate. So far, I've learned that this does take practice. But consistency is key! Yes, a lot of trial and error. But social anxiety is so common now. We don't have to be ashamed about things we need to work on, right? Everyone has different obstacles. A lot of the time, the people that influence us into this bad cycle need far more help than we do, (not always) it can be complicated. Or, often times we can be at a higher awareness in different ways and put it on ourselves that we've failed when, in fact, the consciousness is just different. Subconsciously, we could not like the association we're getting because it can bring us down. Or, maybe our negative thinking patterns are bringing others down? I want to throw a lot of different possibilities out there because it can be really easy to see things in the wrong way. Also, I'm realizing this more and more in time- It is best to be a gentleman or gentlewoman towards all others. Not trying to bring out the best in others can have it's tolls on us! Or trying to always find fault. Always looking on the negative side of things. I've been constantly obsessed with these negative thinking patterns for years. It's been my identity. Playing the victim. We have to continue on with a new step forward! Often times, we are looking in the wrong places and expecting a positive result. I thought about this a long time ago too. Almost all of the problems in the world stem from not being grateful for what we have. What do you guys and gals think?
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#2
I myself have been trying harder to be grateful for what I have instead of longing for the things that I don't. I'm a bit of a social isolationist - I know deep down that this makes things worse, but it feels safer to have that mentality than to open myself to hurt. My negative thoughts seem to be a motivator for the said social isolationism.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#3
(02-05-2019, 12:34 PM)zach26 Wrote: Almost all of the problems in the world stem from not being grateful for what we have. What do you guys and gals think?

That is correct.
Historically speaking, in the Renaissance they had a term to balance society. That term was "Memento Mori." Which means: "Remember that one day you too will die." People do not think in this ancient and classical formality of compassion anymore, and I believe that is honestly part of the underlying problem.
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
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#4
(02-05-2019, 12:34 PM)zach26 Wrote:  Not trying to bring out the best in others can have it's tolls on us! Or trying to always find fault. Always looking on the negative side of things. I've been constantly obsessed with these negative thinking patterns for years. It's been my identity. Playing the victim. We have to continue on with a new step forward! Often times, we are looking in the wrong places and expecting a positive result. I thought about this a long time ago too. Almost all of the problems in the world stem from not being grateful for what we have. What do you guys and gals think?

I agree. I believe as a survival tactic we have been programmed to focus on the negative so that we can fix whatever is causing our issues/threat to our survival. However in America we are fortunate enough not to exposed to many issues that others are exposed to. I've been constantly thinking alot lately that "my life is not bad, I make it bad." any progress/reminder helps to become a more positive person. It is hard to break free of a negative mindset we've had since birth, but bit by bit we all get better.
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#5
The main cause of my social anxiety is that I don't really live a life or lifestyle that often allows me to relate to other people in a comfortable way. I don't really go out or keep up with pop culture and my interests are...unique, or somewhat uncommon for me to come across. Often times even meeting new people at a job is like: "please just tell me what to do and let me do it..." I'm really not all that social to begin with. The irony is that I actually like meeting new people, I'm just bad at it because I have little conversational middle ground value. I prefer not to talk to people I don't know about my family, I'm single so that rules that out, I'm poor, so I haven't kept up with whatever's popular in theaters or in games, so conversing with people my own age that lack characteristic depth can be challenging, to say the least.
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
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#6
The human brain is naturally prone to seeing negative things more as a defense mechanism, prolonged patterns of negative thinking (especially from childhood, including negative upbringing) causes the brain to be "wired" this way more permanently. Of course it's never too late to try and change your way of thinking but like everything that's good for you: it's not gonna be easy.

Especially these days when there IS so much negativity. It's a double edge sward, while we have never had such a better quality of life it's also over complicated, hard, and can be unforgiving. People are unpredictable, driven by greed and self-satisfaction with too much to prove. I don't know about you but this is why I don't really approach people in public.

I think these days it's harder to focus on the positives than anything else when you're simply saturated by negativity. I don't blame people who think this way.
[Image: 2vj1q3q.jpg]
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#7
The thing I've noticed is that my brain is getting used to this; every time I'm idle on the bus or the train, I begin sulking over how desperate I am. 
It's becoming a habit; 3-4 hours of extensive moping everyday at the very least. 
I just hope I don't die before I turn 30.
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#8
I always feel like I need to add a caveat before I give my opinion.  In my case I am dealing with schizotypal personality disorder and agoraphobia with panic disorder among some rather utility disorders to fill out the team.  So loneliness, poor health and especially poor health habits, poor choices....a lot of stuff, are pretty much byproducts of an issue I can identify, but maybe not ever completely defeat.

So that said.

What I think we can all agree with, from people like me all the way to people who might be a tad shy, or socially awkward, is that society beats self-doubt into our heads all the time.

You have to look a certain way, think a certain way, have wealth, people get my point.  Just as bad, we have to expect to find people who look a certain way, have wealth, think a certain way......making us as guilty as we are victims in this ridiculous social effort to torture ourselves and each other all at once.

If this can break down some celebrities, the rich.....and it does all the time, what chance do the rest of us have?

We have one, and in my opinion it is the exact same thing as getting out of an abusive relationship.  Walk away from it and don't go back.  We learn to love ourselves and people will love us and we will be able to love others.  

I like to think that God Dammit if John Merrick could make lifelong friends than so can I.  And since I've started thinking that way...things have been a lot better.
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