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The Effects Of Mental Health On Your Outward Appearance To Others
#1
This is a thread to discuss your perceptions on how your mental health effects the perceptions of other people around you about their perception of you versus how you actually are in your own words.

A good example of this is that because I am a creative introvert as a personality but I also suffer from clinical depression and C-PTSD, my respect, kindness, and compassion are often mistaken for the perception that I am either timid, crazy, or both (depending of course, upon the person).
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
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#2
I am perceived as being aloof, cold, and unfriendly. Which I suppose is a true description of the way I behave. But what is maybe less obvious is that I am terrified, insecure, and utterly clueless as to how social interaction is supposed to work.
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#3
(02-08-2019, 10:54 AM)IncolaVacui Wrote: This is a thread to discuss your perceptions on how your mental health effects the perceptions of other people around you about their perception of you versus how you actually are in your own words.

A good example of this is that because I am a creative introvert as a personality but I also suffer from clinical depression and C-PTSD, my respect, kindness, and compassion are often mistaken for the perception that I am either timid, crazy, or both (depending of course, upon the person).

Each person views themselves differently than other people do.  The only place I have to learn what other people think about me is work, and I always thought people there for the most part, liked and respected me even if our personalities clashed. I always make a point of maintaining boundaries, and keeping things professional.  Yet, when I began to date my now wife who works there, I learned just how mean and viscous people at that place were. It was an eye opener on office gossiping - since I am out of the loop, I had no idea people were saying these things about me.  She said it was rumored that I was creepy, preferred "much" younger women. One in particular told staff that I "liked" her and that she could get me to do anything she wanted.  This woman used to approach ME, not the other way around and asked for help at times.  The relationship was friendly, as we all have people where we work that we click with more than others.  Back and forth sharing, with her it became somewhat personal where she'd seek me out asking for relationship advice.  Then tells other people that I'm attracted to "damsels in distress" and that I had a crush on her.  I'm still mad thinking about it - she set me up, asked for help and then ran back and told people shit like this.  How long has this type of talk been going on? Probably for decades - and in this place, besides the boss, there are three other men including myself, and that's it.  It's 90% women, so you have no choice but talk to women.  There was a 65 year old female there, whom I liked alot and developed a friendship with. I actually helped her more than anyone, had many many personal talks.  She became the target of my old boss, and almost quit. I pulled her aside, gave her some "game" advice that worked.  This woman was so grateful she never forgot it - sent me christmas gifts, bought dinner tickets for myself and girlfriend (or whomever I was dating at the time), and NOBODY said anything about me having a thing for her.  Only if the woman was younger, if I said anything at all, I must like her.  

I've talked at length to my co worker about this reputation.  And he, like me, used it as a teaching tool.  I now have learned to look through people, better than I ever have before. People I used to be friendly to, I am hyper villigent about keeping communication to a minimum, if they share personal stuff, instead of encouraging a deeper talk, I give a superficial response and end the conversation quickly.  I will admit, I was naive for years about how to handle office relationships, and have learned to reform myself and tweak alot of my issues.  The two most attractive women in the place, I make a point of erasing them.  If they show up where I'm at, I immediately reposition myself so that I can't accidentally look at them, and have them think I'm starring.   I've actually been doing this outside of the office as well, heavens if some woman catches me looking in their direction and takes it the wrong way.  I recall an instant years ago,  I was at a store, probably walmart since I practically am there every day getting things,  and was thinking about something, starring in a direction, and some woman gives me a dirty look.  It kind of shocked me back to reality, and then years later, after learning about these stupid work rumors about me, I connected the dots.  She probably thought I was starring at her.  So that "teaching tool" became a rule of thumb for me in and out of work.  Pay attention to myself.  

What do you guys think though? Especially the men, has this happened to you?  Not that I don't appreciate advice from the ladies, but women tend to be the ones that get looked at, more than men in my opinion.
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#4
I fake it. Everyone thinks I'm a perfectly normal, charming, smiling, jovial middle-aged man with two kids and a banal life.
No need for them to see the dark side. It'll only scare them.
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#5
I must admit I've become very good at this technique.A couple of sites where I work alot of ladies set off for work and have to pass by me.If I'm walking in their direction and it's too late to use my adopt alternative direction mode I have to gauge very carefully if they want me to say good morning/smile or if they want no contact because they just want to get to work without the annoying tall geezer interrupting their progress.

I am also very good at looking through people or above heads ,left or right to avoid the thought that they may think I'm a bit creepy.Unfortunately on the flipside I could be getting it wrong sometimes and missing out on a nice warm 'Good morning ' and coming across as aloof/grumpy but that is impossible to know.

But I make a point of never staring at women which to me is very important.But being 6ft 1 does help because majority of women are shorter anyway.😁
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#6
The dissection of self-perceived outward perception is somewhat of a tantalizing subject to me. I was actually pretty blackout drunk when I made this thread in the first place.  I actually only barely even remember starting it, I thought it was just a dream when I came to the next morning.

As for the dis-stipulation between men and women:
Here's how I look at that shit, okay?: If I have to fight, you have to fight, if I have to bleed, you have to bleed, if I have to suffer, you have to suffer. Either she agrees to those terms, or I just continue to consort with Hades himself without the providence of acclimation. The idea of marriage and children mean literally nothing to me. I had a conversation with my blood-related sister who leveled me out about the shallow and simple nature of social contingency...because I was born into a situation in which I have to fight to survive, and am also labored with the burden of my mother, father, and sister, I am not inclined to shift my contingency without legitimate, plausible merit to a higher economic escalation. Or the TL;DR version of it being: I literally don't get the option to choose to have the sufferance of a spouse with ideological standards without the work ethic to create those standards into a manifestation of actual reality, reiterating my original statement as such of for an ideal candidate: Fight like I fight, work like I work, bleed like I bleed, suffer like I suffer, or get the fuck out of my way....

I'm what you'd call an Anomaly Error. I'm less concerned with the likely potential failure of my future than I am my actual, personal, individual shaping of my future. My perception stands that as such no woman in the right frame of mind would ever adhere to this at all, entirely due to lack of fulfillment except for that of personal and emotional fulfillment. Therefore, my chances are limited to that which is un-quantifiable. Essentially meaning that: I am a black hole. People like me should not exist, and as for the romantic spectrum: I honestly have better chances ignoring it entirely, so I do exactly that.

My self perception is that: I Am That I Am.
As previously stated: I am essentially a black hole, a social anomaly.
I distort the social comprehensions of people around me when they so choose to interact with me, rather I want to do so or not.

However, self-perceived social perception is an acute study of its own. For example. every person's manifestation of themselves versus their perceived comprehension of the external versus themselves is entirely different from one another.

One of the most interesting questions one could ask another person is: How do you experience reality? Because no two answers will ever be the same. I experience it, for example, as a plethora of post-its at all too unlike the deleted Bruce Almighty scene seen below: For example I experience this phenomena as a plethora of papers and notes to a countless level nailed to the canopy of my thoughts
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
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#7
Pretty sure I'm unwanted and invisible or forgotten most of the time and thats because I prefer to stay away from most people. At the same time though, I'm nice and helpful when people need something. Even then, I offend don't know what to say to women most of the time and I'm afraid of coming across as creepy or weird, which has happened to me at least once already. Being a 5'4 dude, I'm not comfortable around big groups of people. I'm mostly quiet, timid and not very confident like other guys.
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#8
(02-13-2019, 11:48 AM)FrayedEndsOfSanity32 Wrote: Pretty sure I'm unwanted and invisible or forgotten most of the time and thats because I prefer to stay away from most people. At the same time though, I'm nice and helpful when people need something. Even then, I offend don't know what to say to women most of the time and I'm afraid of coming across as creepy or weird, which has happened to me at least once already. Being a 5'4 dude, I'm not comfortable around big groups of people. I'm mostly quiet, timid and not very confident like other guys.

Yes, short males are grossly discriminated against. It is so obvious. I wonder if society will ever - can ever - be corrected and when short men will get properly compensated for all the abuses.
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#9
(02-13-2019, 11:48 AM)FrayedEndsOfSanity32 Wrote: Pretty sure I'm unwanted and invisible or forgotten most of the time and thats because I prefer to stay away from most people. At the same time though, I'm nice and helpful when people need something. Even then, I offend don't know what to say to women most of the time and I'm afraid of coming across as creepy or weird, which has happened to me at least once already. Being a 5'4 dude, I'm not comfortable around big groups of people. I'm mostly quiet, timid and not very confident like other guys.

You should be confident.  Who cares how tall you are, you are just as good as anyone else in this world.  Your height has nothing to do with who you are and eventually the right people/person will come around and none of that superficial bullshit will matter.
Besides, your height is something that cannot be changed, so figure out a way to accept it. Find something about yourself that is awesome and focus on that instead.

As for the thread in general, of course mental health has an impact on how the world perceives you.  I've been saying this for years here and it's always met with so much resistance.  It usually doesn't matter if you are pretending to be happy go lucky, people will, if they are at least a little bit observant, notice that it's an act.  You send vibes (omg, the dreaded word VIBE) out and people pick up on them.  It's really the same with any emotion you are trying to hide.  People can tell, that's why you can't go out there having a negative outlook, whether it's toward a date or a job.  If you feel like you will get rejected, you most likely will because of what you are throwing out to the world, even without realizing it. q
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

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#10
Personality wise I've never been told I came off as something negative, people usually pick up on my shyness and lack of confidence in myself. It's really annoying. No matter how hard I try apparently my body language and tone of my voice gives it all away. My boss has told me this several times. I just can't fake it like some people. You can usually pick up on the fake people, those who want to act like they know it all and don't, and those who try to be someone they are not. There are hints in speech patterns, body language, even "jokes" some people make give them away. You just have to know what to look for to recognize them.
_______________________________________________________________________
Sickos never scare me. Least they're committed.  
Never Give Up!  Never Surrender!

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