IncolaVacui said:
This is a thread to discuss your perceptions on how your mental health effects the perceptions of other people around you about their perception of you versus how you actually are in your own words.
A good example of this is that because I am a creative introvert as a personality but I also suffer from clinical depression and C-PTSD, my respect, kindness, and compassion are often mistaken for the perception that I am either timid, crazy, or both (depending of course, upon the person).
Each person views themselves differently than other people do. The only place I have to learn what other people think about me is work, and I always thought people there for the most part, liked and respected me even if our personalities clashed. I always make a point of maintaining boundaries, and keeping things professional. Yet, when I began to date my now wife who works there, I learned just how mean and viscous people at that place were. It was an eye opener on office gossiping - since I am out of the loop, I had no idea people were saying these things about me. She said it was rumored that I was creepy, preferred "much" younger women. One in particular told staff that I "liked" her and that she could get me to do anything she wanted. This woman used to approach ME, not the other way around and asked for help at times. The relationship was friendly, as we all have people where we work that we click with more than others. Back and forth sharing, with her it became somewhat personal where she'd seek me out asking for relationship advice. Then tells other people that I'm attracted to "damsels in distress" and that I had a crush on her. I'm still mad thinking about it - she set me up, asked for help and then ran back and told people honeysuckle like this. How long has this type of talk been going on? Probably for decades - and in this place, besides the boss, there are three other men including myself, and that's it. It's 90% women, so you have no choice but talk to women. There was a 65 year old female there, whom I liked alot and developed a friendship with. I actually helped her more than anyone, had many many personal talks. She became the target of my old boss, and almost quit. I pulled her aside, gave her some "game" advice that worked. This woman was so grateful she never forgot it - sent me christmas gifts, bought dinner tickets for myself and girlfriend (or whomever I was dating at the time), and NOBODY said anything about me having a thing for her. Only if the woman was younger, if I said anything at all, I must like her.
I've talked at length to my co worker about this reputation. And he, like me, used it as a teaching tool. I now have learned to look through people, better than I ever have before. People I used to be friendly to, I am hyper villigent about keeping communication to a minimum, if they share personal stuff, instead of encouraging a deeper talk, I give a superficial response and end the conversation quickly. I will admit, I was naive for years about how to handle office relationships, and have learned to reform myself and tweak alot of my issues. The two most attractive women in the place, I make a point of erasing them. If they show up where I'm at, I immediately reposition myself so that I can't accidentally look at them, and have them think I'm starring. I've actually been doing this outside of the office as well, heavens if some woman catches me looking in their direction and takes it the wrong way. I recall an instant years ago, I was at a store, probably walmart since I practically am there every day getting things, and was thinking about something, starring in a direction, and some woman gives me a dirty look. It kind of shocked me back to reality, and then years later, after learning about these stupid work rumors about me, I connected the dots. She probably thought I was starring at her. So that "teaching tool" became a rule of thumb for me in and out of work. Pay attention to myself.
What do you guys think though? Especially the men, has this happened to you? Not that I don't appreciate advice from the ladies, but women tend to be the ones that get looked at, more than men in my opinion.