Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Can you imagine falling in love
#1
with someone and that person reciprocating your feelings? Intellectually, I know this much happen fairly often. From the perspective of a person that has a better chance of being abducted by Aliens, it’s very far-fetched idea. 


PS
Sorry if I’m over-posting
Reply
#2
I don't even think that it's possible for a woman to be attracted to me due to the fact that I didn't go through puberty efficiently - I look like a scrawny teenager. Not to mention my socially inept personality.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
Reply
#3
People fall in love all the time, it is so easy to simply "fall" in love. 

The question here is, is it real?

A person can say they are in love with you, hang out with you, and talk till the sun comes up. Every time you are together you are inebriated on that intoxicating feeling of attraction and "Love" for each other that you want to spend every waking moment with each other. This sounds like romance, like it could be real, but its not.....its a high and reality is always there, waiting for you to crash.  

Later, when the romance has faded, if they don't do anything to prove they actually care about you back by making sacrifices or just accepting you for who you are, not what they thought you were, then that person never loved you....they only loved what you gave them.

When you feel that you've fallen in love, take a second to think. Are you in love? or are you heavily romanticizing the image of your partner that you can't see their flaws?

To summarize, its not a question of if you can fall in love, its when. And when you do, just be careful. Set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.
Reply
#4
Been there, done that. I'm honestly at the stage of wondering if it's worthwhile to ever try again and if I've the strenght for it. After almost 11 years of being single now, I still don't know if I have the answer.
Reply
#5
(02-09-2019, 09:36 PM)Phantimos Wrote: People fall in love all the time, it is so easy to simply "fall" in love. 

The question here is, is it real?

A person can say they are in love with you, hang out with you, and talk till the sun comes up. Every time you are together you are inebriated on that intoxicating feeling of attraction and "Love" for each other that you want to spend every waking moment with each other. This sounds like romance, like it could be real, but its not.....its a high and reality is always there, waiting for you to crash.  

Later, when the romance has faded, if they don't do anything to prove they actually care about you back by making sacrifices or just accepting you for who you are, not what they thought you were, then that person never loved you....they only loved what you gave them.

When you feel that you've fallen in love, take a second to think. Are you in love? or are you heavily romanticizing the image of your partner that you can't see their flaws?

To summarize, its not a question of if you can fall in love, its when. And when you do, just be careful. Set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.

Yes the best way to protect yourself is don’t do it. Unless you’re someone moderately successful st dating its better to be closed off no potential for hurt or rejection. 
Reply
#6
No. There was a time when I was actively looking for it, then there was a period where I was just doing my thing and hanging out around people thinking that "maybe I shouldn't force it and just let it happen" (it didn't) and now that I've transitioned into a 100% basement dweller, I don't think it's even a possibility at this point.

And considering my plans for the year, things are probably better this way. I don't think having a loving partner would change my mind anyway, but it sure as hell would make it much more difficult for me to get things done.
Crowd control situation! *machine gun fire intensifies*
Reply
#7
(02-09-2019, 11:53 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote:
(02-09-2019, 09:36 PM)Phantimos Wrote: People fall in love all the time, it is so easy to simply "fall" in love. 

The question here is, is it real?

A person can say they are in love with you, hang out with you, and talk till the sun comes up. Every time you are together you are inebriated on that intoxicating feeling of attraction and "Love" for each other that you want to spend every waking moment with each other. This sounds like romance, like it could be real, but its not.....its a high and reality is always there, waiting for you to crash.  

Later, when the romance has faded, if they don't do anything to prove they actually care about you back by making sacrifices or just accepting you for who you are, not what they thought you were, then that person never loved you....they only loved what you gave them.

When you feel that you've fallen in love, take a second to think. Are you in love? or are you heavily romanticizing the image of your partner that you can't see their flaws?

To summarize, its not a question of if you can fall in love, its when. And when you do, just be careful. Set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.

Yes the best way to protect yourself is don’t do it. Unless you’re someone moderately successful st dating its better to be closed off no potential for hurt or rejection. 

That's not the point i am making.

Fall in love, make your mistakes and learn from them. Getting hurt is an unavoidable part of life, it helps us learn, it helps us grow. The key is to make sure you aren't hurt too much. 

Just have healthy boundaries, and by that i mean, when you fall in love, do not go ape-shit, do not go overboard because you feel this overwhelming urge to show your love. Doing so will make it hurt so much more when the ugly truth comes out.

Have a slow, steady, and measured approach. Observe your partner and do not be afraid to disagree/challenge them. Anyone who will leave/threaten to leave because of that is not someone you want in your life and could easily be using your love to manipulate you into getting what they love to get from you.

However, don't you dare avoid love. It is a beautiful feeling that is so mesmerizing in its beauty, so hypnotic in its complexity, so mysterious in its nature that poets, novelists, and songwriters have been trying to put it to words for centuries and they have barely scratched its surface. I am referring of course to healthy love.

But, whatever you do, its your decision, your choice.
Reply
#8
(02-10-2019, 01:01 AM)Phantimos Wrote:
(02-09-2019, 11:53 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote:
(02-09-2019, 09:36 PM)Phantimos Wrote: People fall in love all the time, it is so easy to simply "fall" in love. 

The question here is, is it real?

A person can say they are in love with you, hang out with you, and talk till the sun comes up. Every time you are together you are inebriated on that intoxicating feeling of attraction and "Love" for each other that you want to spend every waking moment with each other. This sounds like romance, like it could be real, but its not.....its a high and reality is always there, waiting for you to crash.  

Later, when the romance has faded, if they don't do anything to prove they actually care about you back by making sacrifices or just accepting you for who you are, not what they thought you were, then that person never loved you....they only loved what you gave them.

When you feel that you've fallen in love, take a second to think. Are you in love? or are you heavily romanticizing the image of your partner that you can't see their flaws?

To summarize, its not a question of if you can fall in love, its when. And when you do, just be careful. Set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.

Yes the best way to protect yourself is don’t do it. Unless you’re someone moderately successful st dating its better to be closed off no potential for hurt or rejection. 

That's not the point i am making.

Fall in love, make your mistakes and learn from them. Getting hurt is an unavoidable part of life, it helps us learn, it helps us grow. The key is to make sure you aren't hurt too much. 

Just have healthy boundaries, and by that i mean, when you fall in love, do not go ape-shit, do not go overboard because you feel this overwhelming urge to show your love. Doing so will make it hurt so much more when the ugly truth comes out.

Have a slow, steady, and measured approach. Observe your partner and do not be afraid to disagree/challenge them. Anyone who will leave/threaten to leave because of that is not someone you want in your life and could easily be using your love to manipulate you into getting what they love to get from you.

However, don't you dare avoid love. It is a beautiful feeling that is so mesmerizing in its beauty, so hypnotic in its complexity, so mysterious in its nature that poets, novelists, and songwriters have been trying to put it to words for centuries and they have barely scratched its surface. I am referring of course to healthy love.

But, whatever you do, its your decision, your choice.

It’s not so much that I was agreeing with your original point. I think what you’re saying is very sound advice. On the other hand I don’t believe that everyone will ever have the opportunity to even get into a relationship where your advice is relevant. Meaning that not everyone is destined to experience the great all encompassing love relationship. That old adage that there is someone for everyone isn’t true. Some of us just aren’t going to meet their “one” so we’re left with two options loving from afar or never opening ourself up to love. Regardless of what actions a person may take even if they do everything right it still will not make another love you. So that’s why my best advice is that know your limitations. Don’t believe the ridiculous societal notions that you’re going to be in a stable loving relationship it just isn’t in the cards for all of us.
Reply
#9
Not really. I kind of don't believe in the idea of a romantic love anymore. At times I like to think that it's real, because it feels and looks like it's real, but it's not real. You know the fucked up thing is that I've been single long enough now that it honestly doesn't bother me for more than 15 minutes to an hour a week, tops. I've met enough unhappy couples, seen enough breakups and divorces, seen enough failed relationships and failed parenting, and been through enough failed relationships. So, all I did was just reallocate my wager to betting that there's less depth there than meets the eye with romantic-type interpersonal relationships. I prefer close platonic friendships with women (very much in the same way that I will have close platonic friendships with my male friends), because it keeps the boundaries separate and respect mutual, keeps it calm and just in general less pressure. I don't even touch the idea of romantic conception with a 10 ft pole these days. I don't have the time, for one thing. And I damn sure don't have the resources or energy to. It's more likely that what I need/want will walk right passed me and say Hello to me and I won't even get it because it probably won't be direct...which sucks, yes, but not as much as when things don't work out with someone and you've already decided to try living together, THAT sucks way the fuck more: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, no thanks. I've kind of made a contracting career as an adult out of trying to avoid getting into situations that I cannot then get back out of without going through more hoops than it's worth to me.
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
Reply
#10
(02-13-2019, 10:54 AM)IncolaVacui Wrote: Not really. I kind of don't believe in the idea of a romantic love anymore. At times I like to think that it's real, because it feels and looks like it's real, but it's not real. You know the fucked up thing is that I've been single long enough now that it honestly doesn't bother me for more than 15 minutes to an hour a week, tops. I've met enough unhappy couples, seen enough breakups and divorces, seen enough failed relationships and failed parenting, and been through enough failed relationships. So, all I did was just reallocate my wager to betting that there's less depth there than meets the eye with romantic-type interpersonal relationships. I prefer close platonic friendships with women (very much in the same way that I will have close platonic friendships with my male friends), because it keeps the boundaries separate and respect mutual, keeps it calm and just in general less pressure. I don't even touch the idea of romantic conception with a 10 ft pole these days. I don't have the time, for one thing. And I damn sure don't have the resources or energy to. It's more likely that what I need/want will walk right passed me and say Hello to me and I won't even get it because it probably won't be direct...which sucks, yes, but not as much as when things don't work out with someone and you've already decided to try living together, THAT sucks way the fuck more: Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, no thanks. I've kind of made a contracting career as an adult out of trying to avoid getting into situations that I cannot then get back out of without going through more hoops than it's worth to me.

I you genuinely feel this way at your age then you might want to get your testosterone levels checked. It's not so easy for everyone to switch off these desires. Wish it were. Maybe 'getting the t shirt' helps.
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  What about your partner did you fall in love with? Serenia 12 4,600 07-17-2020, 10:54 AM
Last Post: Sunless Sky
  "Love" is such a Stupid Fantasy michael2 0 513 06-12-2020, 05:32 PM
Last Post: michael2
  "Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?" Usvic1 18 2,464 07-15-2019, 10:55 PM
Last Post: Siku
  I’m in love with the cat Puddled Duck 7 1,510 07-14-2019, 09:48 AM
Last Post: Puddled Duck
  Why Love is not like movies Usvic1 6 1,532 07-12-2019, 09:50 AM
Last Post: QuietDesperation2.0
  19 ways tо make someоnе fаll іn love wіth уоu Usvic1 10 1,866 07-12-2019, 01:57 AM
Last Post: abyssbcs512
  Who has and hasn't given up on love? AnonymousMe 41 6,971 05-25-2019, 12:27 AM
Last Post: pad79
  Love... Quietude 15 3,137 05-18-2019, 12:21 AM
Last Post: okkkorniienko
  Love that dog of yours humourless 4 1,350 04-22-2019, 08:01 PM
Last Post: sunlight_hope
  "Waiting" for love Erevetot 38 4,822 04-08-2019, 09:24 AM
Last Post: Enpatsu No Shakugan

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)