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Are therapists honest and trustworthy?
#1
I have just finished therapy. After being 7 months in it. It was my 6th therapist. I was thinking that finally i encountered on therapist i can trust to. I liked her for her wise questions. She was rather a cold person but very smart.
Problems started when i told her that she finish sessions in a very strange way. She would stand up quickly saying "we have to finish" like i would like to steal her 1 minute more. I told her that it upsets me and she answered me that she will do something about it. On our next meeting she said that i am coming 5 minutes before session starts.I was always 5 minutes earlier so i was suprised that she raised that subject after so many months. She said that she didnt tell it because she was waiting how it will go. I felt that it is bullshit but i said to her that if she feels insecure about counting how much time will be left i will come on time. I thought it is really strange because she can finish 5 minutes earlier and it wont make any diffrence really. I thought that she was just mean for what i said about her standing up in such a rude way. The way she was speaking was so dishonest.
I came angry for out next meeeting and i shared my doubts with her.She kept saying some nonsense but i let go. I felt that i do not deserve it tho. On our third meeting finally i decided to come and talk to her and possibly finish our therapy.
On the day i just asked her did she care about me. Because i just felt like a client. I was just saying what i feel and refraining from being caught into her explanations.I expected her at least saying-Yes you are a client and what do you expect from me...but what i can give you is honesty and readiness to help in a best way i can. 
Instead she used excuses that i was let down by other people, i have trust issues and she wants a chance so we can keep going with therapy.. She said that she do care about me, she thinks about my problems ( she said which ones like i would not know)etc....But this dishonesty....i felt pain and dissapointment but I was just observing how many mistakes she makes in saying things..I was looking at her face which was very controlled. She was manipulating, i had no doubts
But now i am not sure...Maybe i do have trust issues and it affect me like she said. I cant even finish therapy. And i had 6 of them.
But maybe i feel so lonely that i do not care if she lies or not.
Any thoughts? Experiences?

I forgot to add the most important thing in my decision
I was looking for a job at the time and i told her how much salary i was offered by one company. Her reaction( strange fake,  laugh of kind ' i have you" , she could not have hidden it althought she tried)
During our therapy she kept saying that i need at least 2 sessions per week. But i had not enough money but i was thinking how to get enough money for her. I cant believe i might have been so conned by her.
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#2
Therapists are supposed to make you feel better - if she's not doing that, then she's failing to do her job. And if she's being rude to you, then she's actually breaching the company's code of conduct. If I were you I'd report this woman to her superiors before she pushes some poor suicidal person over the edge.

This is why I would never pay for therapy - all they want is money. You need to talk to someone who cares about you and actually wants to help. And it sounds like you've come to the right place.

This forum will do more good for you than any therapist. Smile
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#3
(02-10-2019, 09:18 PM)hewhowalksalone Wrote: Therapists are supposed to make you feel better - if she's not doing that, then she's failing to do her job.  And if she's being rude to you, then she's actually breaching the company's code of conduct.  If I were you I'd report this woman to her superiors before she pushes some poor suicidal person over the edge.

This is why I would never pay for therapy - all they want is money.  You need to talk to someone who cares about you and actually wants to help.  And it sounds like you've come to the right place.

This forum will do more good for you than any therapist. Smile

thanks for answer. I believe some people are just not lucky enough to meet right therapists... like me.
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#4
(02-10-2019, 09:18 PM)hewhowalksalone Wrote: Therapists are supposed to make you feel better - if she's not doing that, then she's failing to do her job.  And if she's being rude to you, then she's actually breaching the company's code of conduct.  If I were you I'd report this woman to her superiors before she pushes some poor suicidal person over the edge.

This is why I would never pay for therapy - all they want is money.  You need to talk to someone who cares about you and actually wants to help.  And it sounds like you've come to the right place.

This forum will do more good for you than any therapist. Smile

Very dangerous advice. This forum most likely won't be be better than any therapist, it's good for temporary feel good moments, and if you're lucky you get a good connection or two out of it. I'm not trying to bring down the forum this way, but it can't fix deep rooted issues that people have, it doesn't claim it can, and it's not made for it either. 

Therapists aren't necessarily supposed to make you feel better either. They're there to help you deal with life better. Therapy is supposed to be very difficult. If therapy is easy you either don't need it or don't use it the right way.

None of that means, Mr Letsmakefriends, that i think what your therapist is doing is okay. Don't take it that way. I don't know enough about the situation to draw a conclusion in that direction. It does seem you have trust issues. Seeing as you're in therapy, she says you do, and you seem inclined to agree. But it's not one or the other. There are plenty of terrible and worthless therapists out there. She could be one. The trick is to finding the right one though i get that that may seem impossible sometimes. 

It could also be that you're not receptive enough to what she is saying. That you block it out. On purpose or, more likely, not on purpose. 

Either way i wish you good luck.

There's an infinite amount of things that could be happening here and there's no way to tell which it is.
Happiness is a false God.
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#5
I think you have to find the right therapist for YOU. That's not always easy. My son has been to more than a dozen over the last 10 years and we just now found one that I think is a really good fit for him.
One size definitely does not fit all when it comes to therapists. You just have to keep trying until you find one that you mesh well with. So if you don't think one is helping, give it at least 4-6 appointments and if it still isn't working, it's probably time to try a new one. Don't get discouraged, there's one out there that will understand and help you, you just have to find them.
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#6
(02-10-2019, 10:04 PM)Hazed Wrote:
(02-10-2019, 09:18 PM)hewhowalksalone Wrote: Therapists are supposed to make you feel better - if she's not doing that, then she's failing to do her job.  And if she's being rude to you, then she's actually breaching the company's code of conduct.  If I were you I'd report this woman to her superiors before she pushes some poor suicidal person over the edge.

This is why I would never pay for therapy - all they want is money.  You need to talk to someone who cares about you and actually wants to help.  And it sounds like you've come to the right place.

This forum will do more good for you than any therapist. Smile

Very dangerous advice. This forum most likely won't be be better than any therapist, it's good for temporary feel good moments, and if you're lucky you get a good connection or two out of it. I'm not trying to bring down the forum this way, but it can't fix deep rooted issues that people have, it doesn't claim it can, and it's not made for it either. 

Therapists aren't necessarily supposed to make you feel better either. They're there to help you deal with life better. Therapy is supposed to be very difficult. If therapy is easy you either don't need it or don't use it the right way.

None of that means, Mr Letsmakefriends, that i think what your therapist is doing is okay. Don't take it that way. I don't know enough about the situation to draw a conclusion in that direction. It does seem you have trust issues. Seeing as you're in therapy, she says you do, and you seem inclined to agree. But it's not one or the other. There are plenty of terrible and worthless therapists out there. She could be one. The trick is to finding the right one though i get that that may seem impossible sometimes. 

It could also be that you're not receptive enough to what she is saying. That you block it out. On purpose or, more likely, not on purpose. 

Either way i wish you good luck.

There's an infinite amount of things that could be happening here and there's no way to tell which it is.

Hazed, I respect your viewpoint. I should have clarified that I meant 'in my personal opinion'. I didn't mean to make it sound like I was speaking for everyone. Smile It's just that talking to the people on this forum has helped me in the past - I meant to say that I personally wouldn't see any need for a therapist. I get that some people need that little extra help. I'm with you 100% on your statement that 'Letsmakefriends' just needs to find the right therapist for the job.

'Letsmakefriends' - good luck with that. Smile
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#7
In my experience 'therapy', unfortunately, is worse than worthless. It's one of the biggest scams in human history. It's always been hokey and occasionally gets discredited before starting something new that is supposed to work this time. Freud is now taken to be a crazy weirdo and possibly even an evil ill-intentioned fraudster. The big breakthrough with 'cognitive behavioural therapy' never really manifested and seems to be primarily guided by economic considerations. Whatever the latest new thing is, I predict it will have little to no impact. The only people who benefit from 'therapy' are the 'therapists' who enjoy an easy life as parasites preying on vulnerable people, inflating their (the therapist's) sense of pride and self-worth at the expense of the 'patient' or 'client' who also funnels money to them. If people truly believe it's helping them...great...I wouldn't rain on someone's 'true psychic' parade either. But I see it as nonsense that is only helping the parasites in the industry. More remotely, it also diverts attention away from certain 'macro' issues that might actually be more relevant to why people are damaged and can't find happiness. But hey...what else are you going to do? Drink? There won't be a solution. It would have to be so radical as to be unimaginable. Certain people are always going to be dealt a bad hand every generation and unfortunately, most of them will never get the help that could save them from a lifetime of misery.
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#8
What Zorananda says Cool IMHO in 99% of cases its a collusion of illusion- the client imagining they have a problem and the therapist imagining theyre a therapist. Many yrs ago I had experienced being both listener and client and was going to do a 3 yr collage course but didn't get a grant-best thing that's happened to me, it was a breath of fresh air getting away from all that counselling 'nest of snakes'. I became a self employed gardener- an honest profession and never looked back! Big Grin
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#9
(02-13-2019, 07:00 PM)Chief broom Wrote: What Zorananda says Cool IMHO in 99% of cases its a collusion of illusion- the client imagining they have a problem and the therapist imagining theyre a therapist. Many yrs ago I had experienced being both listener and client and was going to do a 3 yr collage course but didn't get a grant-best thing that's happened to me, it was a breath of fresh air getting away from all that counselling 'nest of snakes'. I became a self employed gardener- an honest profession and never looked back! Big Grin

Thanks and congrats for getting away from the nest of snakes and finding gardening. I do think a lot of people who seek out a therapist have real problems but unfortunately the therapists aren't going to solve them.
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