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I guess I'm new here
#1
Had an account on here back in like 2010-2012, but forgot my login, and I haven't been on since. 

The problem I have that I care about is trying to find a way to cope with not being able to have a romantic life. I physically can't have sex, and it's at the point now where I feel no joy in interacting with a girl I like, or 1 I am even just attracted to, no warm fuzzy feeling like when I had a crush as a kid; only the bad stuff for 7 years, anxiety and a feeling of worthlessness. I would much rather play dead and hope she goes away than talk to her, since there is nowhere to go from theret even if it goes well.

I understand it's just chemicals in my brain, but it's hard to not let it affect me. I am in a cycle of self shame when I don't try and emberassment/ real shame when I do try. 

Hopefully I can learn some coping strategies on here and learn to be happy alone.
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#2
Hi, I hope this doesn't sound patronising and sorry if you are already way past that but what about therapy? I don't know where you are but they offer it on the Nhs in uk and it can be very effective. Also I know I risk of being accused of generalising but there are women who do not prioritise conventional sex. And, lastly but not leastly, romantic relationships are not everything in life, friendships and familiy can be so much more important and can make you feel more fulfilled in life.
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#3
Hi Mildly. Welcome back! Smile
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#4
Hi, Mildly. I share your curse. Well, I don't know your circumstances, but with me, my virginity is due to the fact that I didn't go through puberty properly. I think that looking freakishly young for my age may have also contributed to my difficulty in making friends.

I hope that you find the guidance you are looking for on this forum. I know I did.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#5
Hello, MildlyInteresting. I've been in that cycle too, and in the end, I think I take it too hard on myself. Try not to beat yourself up. Hope to see you around.
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#6
Hi. You might be surprised how many females don't actually care about sex, especially with the prevalence of meds being taken that affect that kind of thing. Don't let that be a focus in the beginning, give it time and see where it goes.
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#7
Hey mildly, it sounds like your negative thinking really takes over. A therapist would be best to help. Also, there are CBT techniques that could help. It's tough to do in practice, but we don't have to be slaves to our thinking. That being said, I agree with the other posters about leaving the sex out of your plans and just let things, like conversations...happen.
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