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Adjusting to a new city
#1
*disclaimer, this is mostly for venting*

I recently moved to a new area of the state for a new job, and while its definitely an improvement in terms of employment, socially it's another story. The city I lived before, I decided that I was gonna make an honest effort to go outside my comfort zone and meet new people, instead of just watching TV all day. As a result, I made more friends there in 2 and a half years than I had in the past 10 years in 3 separate cities.  I've been in my new city for a little over 3 months, and haven't found the same success. These days I go home from work, watch TV or do chores to be productive, then rinse and repeat.

Now, in fairness, there are some caveats: one, the city I was in prior was a college town, and thus much more active socially. Two, when I first moved there, I was still in the process of getting licensed for work, and so for the first 2-3 months, I was only working 2 days a week, and had much more time for social activities (mainly meetup.com). And three, since I was a new hire, me and other new hires of similar age were put into several meetings/orientations, where we got to know each other. My new city has more or a suburban/agricultural feel, so there just isn't much to do, and my work schedule was 40 hours/week right from the start, with a lot of evenings/weekends. In addition, the new job is roughly 30 min from where I live, and as a result, most of my coworkers don't live in the same vicinity. So clearly, the deck is stacked against. I've been trying to be active on meetup.com, even started my own so that I wouldn't have to drive 30 min for the meetups, but as they say, "the fish aren't biting". As a result, I find myself wondering if I made a mistake moving. The primary motivation was pressure from my folks, who wanted me to move closer to them; in addition, at the time I made the decision, I felt like my life was in a (comfortable) rut, so fresh start did sound refreshing.

I'm curious if anyone else here has been in the similar situation, and if so, how you dealt with it. I know from prior experience that things can change on a dime (and I thought they would for a few times, but turned out to be false alarms), but it's still hard when your'e dealing with it in the present.
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#2
Hi. I can't say I've been in this position - but I admire your bravery. Change isn't always easy.
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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#3
How far did you move from where you used to live? You do know you still have those friends you made, right? If it's not TOO far, you can always make plans with them once in a while and go back for it.
As for your new area, you said yourself that it's a different situation, so it's going to take a little longer. Don't rule out the ones that are 30 minutes away. That's not that far. Keep trying, you'll find something/someone.
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#4
(02-11-2019, 08:20 PM)TheRealCallie Wrote: How far did you move from where you used to live?  You do know you still have those friends you made, right?  If it's not TOO far, you can always make plans with them once in a while and go back for it.  
As for your new area, you said yourself that it's a different situation, so it's going to take a little longer. Don't rule out the ones that are 30 minutes away.  That's not that far.  Keep trying, you'll find something/someone.

It’s about 6 hour drive, so not exactly a weekend visit.  We had a chat group of about 12 people, where we texted asking about plans for the weekend, going out for the night, general chit-chat, etc.  I recently removed myself from the group, it was getting a bit depressing listening in,  but not being able to (physically) participate.
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