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smarty24

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In the past 4-5 years, I tried (and I am still using) at least 15 hookup apps and a bit more sites to arrange hook-ups.

Tried almost everything but not I am on 4 hookup sites and 2 apps (Tinder and Pure). For me a bit better are sites than apps, I am having an impression that is a bit lower competition on sites. On the other side, I have an impression that 9/10 and 10/10 guys, bang all girls on apps.

So, what working better for you, when it comes to finding some casual sex partners: sites or apps?

Share your experiences...
 
Dating sites/apps and hookup sites are a dime a dozen. Each or them barely worth their part in that dime. I lost my faith some time ago in these things. I may be lonely and miserable, but I'll be damned of someone wants to make money off of it.
 
The sites and apps seem to all suck equally. I'm into cougars/older women and it's very difficult to find one on any of those sites. I mean, for most of them, you literally have to pay just to message anyone or receive messages. And it's mostly a scam because those messages are bots/spammers. I gave up. I have subscriptions to Tinder and bumble app. But it's like gambling. You might win, but 90% of the time, you will lose. Even if you pay for any extra stuff on the app.
 
Big story in the local news today about the abuses of dating sites and apps on TVANouvelles. How they go out of their way to scam lonely people for money.
Personally, I think its a waste of time. I'd rather go the old fashionned way and risk making a fool of myself.
 
Richard_39 said:
Big story in the local news today about the abuses of dating sites and apps on TVANouvelles. How they go out of their way to scam lonely people for money.
Personally, I think its a waste of time. I'd rather go the old fashionned way and risk making a fool of myself.

I agree with this.
 
^This ^

Also remember my driving instructor after asking me to ask out a barmaid in a pub we were passing for him , no lie , he said "Jo if you ask three women out there's a good chance your going home on your own but if you ask ten out there's s good chance your gonna pull one" ,his words not mine.

From what I've heard it's all a bit dodgy the single websites but one of my games compatriates has prooved if your just after a bit of local fun it works ...he spends alot of time being up all night😉.
 
Joturbo said:
^This ^

Also remember my driving instructor after asking me to ask out a barmaid in a pub we were passing for him , no lie , he said "Jo if you ask three women out there's a good chance your going home on your own but if you ask ten out there's s good chance your gonna pull one" ,his words not mine.

From what I've heard it's all a bit dodgy the single websites but one of my games compatriates has prooved if your just after a bit of local fun it works ...he spends alot of time being up all night😉.

For what it's worth, your driving instructor was a ****** for asking you to take a fall for him.

Things are very different nowadays. If you ask 10 women out, there's a good chance you're getting escorted out by security. Although these sites are essentially a scam to prey on the lonely, they're also the only place where consent to approach women is somewhat guaranteed. Try that honeysuckle in public, and watch how quickly you get metoo'd.
 
Haha no I think he was ok but his bright yellow suit was a bit hard on the eyes lol and he was very extrovert god bless him and helped me pass first time.

I don't think he meant all in one night ,now that would be a feat lol....but I think he had a point you don't ask you don't get and all that....
 
Red_Wedding_Casualty said:
Joturbo said:
^This ^

Also remember my driving instructor after asking me to ask out a barmaid in a pub we were passing for him , no lie , he said "Jo if you ask three women out there's a good chance your going home on your own but if you ask ten out there's s good chance your gonna pull one" ,his words not mine.

From what I've heard it's all a bit dodgy the single websites but one of my games compatriates has prooved if your just after a bit of local fun it works ...he spends alot of time being up all night😉.

For what it's worth, your driving instructor was a ****** for asking you to take a fall for him.

Things are very different nowadays. If you ask 10 women out, there's a good chance you're getting escorted out by security. Although these sites are essentially a scam to prey on the lonely, they're also the only place where consent to approach women is somewhat guaranteed. Try that honeysuckle in public, and watch how quickly you get metoo'd.


Well, I am sharing Your instructor opinion :)
 
Online dating sites are time wasters as is, but hookups seem even more superficial and worthless.

I'd say just to stick to places you like to be, online or off, talk to people there who interest you and that's the best way to make new friends or even more than that.
 
I don't really understand why people are saying dating sites/apps are a waste of time. You have access to loads of people who you would otherwise never meet and it's often free unless you want advanced features.

I'm sure there are some sites that aren't so good and probably full of fake profiles. But from my experience Tinder, okcupid and bumble are all fine. There's some people on there who I probably wouldn't want to meet. But I've also met some really cool girls on there too.
 
bender22 said:
I don't really understand why people are saying dating sites/apps are a waste of time. You have access to loads of people who you would otherwise never meet and it's often free unless you want advanced features.

I'm sure there are some sites that aren't so good and probably full of fake profiles. But from my experience Tinder, okcupid and bumble are all fine. There's some people on there who I probably wouldn't want to meet. But I've also met some really cool girls on there too.

The system in which men and women interact, further propagated by the online dating format, is wildly inefficient for actually meeting someone long term with a lot of substance.
It can happen, sure, but it requires luck above all else.

Where men are mostly ignored and women are over-swamped, the tactic shifts from actively searching for a good match you might not have met otherwise into a literal MESSAGE EVERY AND ANYONE to hopefully get someone who'll say yes, and there you go. Messages get lower quality, less personalized, more rushed; quantity over quality. It's so incredibly superficial and worthless.
Not to mention that the majority of users rarely seek long distance; which is the biggest perk of being online.


It's a mess. Again, I say you're better off just being and doing where and what you want and meeting like minded people in those places as friends or more.
 
Enpatsu No Shakugan said:
bender22 said:
I don't really understand why people are saying dating sites/apps are a waste of time. You have access to loads of people who you would otherwise never meet and it's often free unless you want advanced features.

I'm sure there are some sites that aren't so good and probably full of fake profiles. But from my experience Tinder, okcupid and bumble are all fine. There's some people on there who I probably wouldn't want to meet. But I've also met some really cool girls on there too.

The system in which men and women interact, further propagated by the online dating format, is wildly inefficient for actually meeting someone long term with a lot of substance.
It can happen, sure, but it requires luck above all else.

Where men are mostly ignored and women are over-swamped, the tactic shifts from actively searching for a good match you might not have met otherwise into a literal MESSAGE EVERY AND ANYONE to hopefully get someone who'll say yes, and there you go. Messages get lower quality, less personalized, more rushed; quantity over quality. It's so incredibly superficial and worthless.
Not to mention that the majority of users rarely seek long distance; which is the biggest perk of being online.


It's a mess. Again, I say you're better off just being and doing where and what you want and meeting like minded people in those places as friends or more.

I've found online dating to be far more efficient than anything else for setting up dates at least. Yes, there are some drawbacks to online dating but I don't know of any avenue of meeting women (or guys) that doesn't have drawbacks. I think the sheer volume of girls on dating apps these days compensates for any of the negatives you mention.

I had a second date with a girl I met on Tinder last night. She was great - smart, attractive, good sense of humor. She would definitely be long term relationship material. And I never would have met her if I wasn't on Tinder.

You mention that women are over-swamped with messages. That may be true but have you ever seen the messages women are getting on online dating from guys? Most of them are awful. It's not too difficult to stand out over 90% of other guys on there by not being creepy/overly sexual, being somewhat interesting and knowing how to move things forward fairly quickly.
 
bender22 said:
Enpatsu No Shakugan said:
bender22 said:
I don't really understand why people are saying dating sites/apps are a waste of time. You have access to loads of people who you would otherwise never meet and it's often free unless you want advanced features.

I'm sure there are some sites that aren't so good and probably full of fake profiles. But from my experience Tinder, okcupid and bumble are all fine. There's some people on there who I probably wouldn't want to meet. But I've also met some really cool girls on there too.

The system in which men and women interact, further propagated by the online dating format, is wildly inefficient for actually meeting someone long term with a lot of substance.
It can happen, sure, but it requires luck above all else.

Where men are mostly ignored and women are over-swamped, the tactic shifts from actively searching for a good match you might not have met otherwise into a literal MESSAGE EVERY AND ANYONE to hopefully get someone who'll say yes, and there you go. Messages get lower quality, less personalized, more rushed; quantity over quality. It's so incredibly superficial and worthless.
Not to mention that the majority of users rarely seek long distance; which is the biggest perk of being online.


It's a mess. Again, I say you're better off just being and doing where and what you want and meeting like minded people in those places as friends or more.

I've found online dating to be far more efficient than anything else for setting up dates at least. Yes, there are some drawbacks to online dating but I don't know of any avenue of meeting women (or guys) that doesn't have drawbacks. I think the sheer volume of girls on dating apps these days compensates for any of the negatives you mention.  

I had a second date with a girl I met on Tinder last night. She was great - smart, attractive, good sense of humor. She would definitely be long term relationship material. And I never would have met her if I wasn't on Tinder.

You mention that women are over-swamped with messages. That may be true but have you ever seen the messages women are getting on online dating from guys? Most of them are awful. It's not too difficult to stand out over 90% of other guys on there by not being creepy/overly sexual, being somewhat interesting and knowing how to move things forward fairly quickly.

If quick dates are what you're looking for, I guess they might work; but to be fair, I've never had any luck with that aspect either.

But for me, I just want to meet someone, get to know them as a friend before I decide on anything past that. "Dates" in general are such a superficial concept of forcing a situation to gauge one another out romantically, I'm not a fan.
Just like how you don't have to "date" any of your close friends; you just talk normally, shoot the honeysuckle, hang out, whatever might arise and that's a more solid bond to be found, I find.
The same as just continuing to chat in depth online before ever meeting up.

But not everyone has the patience for that at all; and I'm not a fan of the latter, so it doesn't work for me.
 
bender22 said:
You mention that women are over-swamped with messages. That may be true but have you ever seen the messages women are getting on online dating from guys? Most of them are awful. It's not too difficult to stand out over 90% of other guys on there by not being creepy/overly sexual, being somewhat interesting and knowing how to move things forward fairly quickly.

This assumes they're being read.  As everyone knows someone has to match with you to be available for messaging on Tinder. OkCupid have recently implemented a similar system to Tinder -  a woman has to 'like' your profile or some such first before messages appear in her inbox.

I'm not familiar with the other platforms but it's common knowledge that women inundated with messages will just go through and delete those with profile photos  that don't appeal.  From their perspective, if they're going to have to read through  creepy messages, it may as well from acceptable looking guys at least.

And that's ignoring height, race and income related criteria.

Seems like you're an average to better than average looking guy who's had a moderate level of success with some modest effort, whereas for us it would be like a second job sending off hundreds of tailored messages just to get radio silence.
 
ardour said:
bender22 said:
You mention that women are over-swamped with messages. That may be true but have you ever seen the messages women are getting on online dating from guys? Most of them are awful. It's not too difficult to stand out over 90% of other guys on there by not being creepy/overly sexual, being somewhat interesting and knowing how to move things forward fairly quickly.

This assumes they're being read.  As everyone knows someone has to match with you to be available for messaging on Tinder. OkCupid have recently implemented a similar system to Tinder -  a woman has to 'like' your profile or some such first before messages appear in her inbox.

I'm not familiar with the other platforms but it's common knowledge that women inundated with messages will just go through and delete those with profile photos  that don't appeal.  From their perspective, If they're going to have to read through  creepy messages, may as welll from acceptable looking guys at least.

And that's ignoring height, race and income related criteria.

Seems like you're an average to better than average looking guy who's had a moderate level of success with some modest effort.  Whereas for us it would be like a second job, sending off hundreds to tailored messages just to get radio silence.

And it pretty much turned Okcupid from mostly worthless to completely worthless.
 
ardour said:
This assumes they're being read.  As everyone knows someone has to match with you to be available for messaging on Tinder. OkCupid have recently implemented a similar system to Tinder -  a woman has to 'like' your profile or some such first before messages appear in her inbox.

I'm not familiar with the other platforms but it's common knowledge that women inundated with messages will just go through and delete those with profile photos  that don't appeal.  From their perspective, if they're going to have to read through  creepy messages, it may as well from acceptable looking guys at least.

And that's ignoring height, race and income related criteria.

Seems like you're an average to better than average looking guy who's had a moderate level of success with some modest effort, whereas for us it would be like a second job sending off hundreds of tailored messages just to get radio silence.

I think the Tinder style match before you can message system is great. Saves me a lot of time messaging girls who would never reply to me based on my appearance. 

At least you know when someone has matched with you they have some level of interest and are therefore more likely to reply if you send them a good message. I probably get replies on 85% or more of my first messages on Tinder. Whereas, on Okcupid before they implemented the Tinder style system, I remember getting a far lower response rate...probably under 15% (maybe even less..can't remember exactly).
 
bender22 said:
ardour said:
This assumes they're being read.  As everyone knows someone has to match with you to be available for messaging on Tinder. OkCupid have recently implemented a similar system to Tinder -  a woman has to 'like' your profile or some such first before messages appear in her inbox.

I'm not familiar with the other platforms but it's common knowledge that women inundated with messages will just go through and delete those with profile photos  that don't appeal.  From their perspective, if they're going to have to read through  creepy messages, it may as well from acceptable looking guys at least.

And that's ignoring height, race and income related criteria.

Seems like you're an average to better than average looking guy who's had a moderate level of success with some modest effort, whereas for us it would be like a second job sending off hundreds of tailored messages just to get radio silence.

I think the Tinder style match before you can message system is great. Saves me a lot of time messaging girls who would never reply to me based on my appearance. 

At least you know when someone has matched with you they have some level of interest and are therefore more likely to reply if you send them a good message. I probably get replies on 85% or more of my first messages on Tinder. Whereas, on Okcupid before they implemented the Tinder style system, I remember getting a far lower response rate...probably under 15% (maybe even less..can't remember exactly).

But do you just message everyone?

See to me, I'm very selective and like to browse hard for profiles and people I'd like. Yeah, they'd never respond, but those are the people I want to talk to.

I don't care if someone else 'likes' me that I'm not interested in, so to me it's nothing but infuriating that I'm not allowed to talk to someone I might want to get to know simply because they're too over-swamped to notice me, not signing on, or whatever other reason it could be. (Women always have a lot of reasons when it comes to the game of online). Not to mention that sending a personalized, in-depth message from me has gotten many women intrigued; something that wouldn't happen if they were forced to read my profile first among hundreds of others.

Having to settle for literally only the "ones who'll say yes" with the "ask everyone" approach is very unappealing to me.
 
Enpatsu No Shakugan said:
But do you just message everyone?

See to me, I'm very selective and like to browse hard for profiles and people I'd like. Yeah, they'd never respond, but those are the people I want to talk to.

I don't care if someone else 'likes' me that I'm not interested in, so to me it's nothing but infuriating that I'm not allowed to talk to someone I might want to get to know simply because they're too over-swamped to notice me, not signing on, or whatever other reason it could be. (Women always have a lot of reasons when it comes to the game of online). Not to mention that sending a personalized, in-depth message from me has gotten many women intrigued; something that wouldn't happen if they were forced to read my profile first among hundreds of others.

Having to settle for literally only the "ones who'll say yes" with the "ask everyone" approach is very unappealing to me.

No, I'll only 'swipe right' and match with girls who do seem appealing to me. And then even out of the ones who I do match with, I don't message every single one. I'm fairly selective as well.

Like you, there are a lot of profiles who I'd like to talk to but don't get the chance because they wouldn't match with me. And that's why I don't rely 100% on online dating. The good thing about getting out and meeting people offline is if you're confident enough, you can meet the women who would probably never give you a chance online.
 

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