Losing a best friend

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So, I became best friends with this girl Samantha on Facebook. And after hearing her story and learning more about her, we hit it off. Until one day, I asked about a possible relationship and she just said, "Ughhh." That's when I knew I messed up and things just got awkward from there. 

She also used to call me on the phone while drunk and high off cocaine. Going on and on about how she wants to die when something bad happens. One time, she got fired from her job at an alcohol store after being arrested going home while drunk and wearing her work uniform.

Last night, we got into a fight. I had blocked her on my phone to avoid more drunk/high phone calls, which set her off. Then she said I'm, "not a true friend" and that she, "doesn't trust friendships anymore". I know she had to be drunk last night. That's the only time she seems to really call me

My other best friends all seem to agree. She's crazy and I need to stay away from her. But at the same time, I know she's a good person, just messed up emotionally. So I can't bring myself to cut all ties with her. 

Anyone else have a problem like this with a friend?
 
Hey Frayedends, I'm sorry to you lost a friend.

When I was in High school my best friend of 8 years just stopped talking to me all of sudden, it took a lot of digging but then I found out another one of her friends had started a rumor about me and all my other friends took her side, so I lost my best friend and my group of friends a long the way. It hurt like hell.

It took a long time, but I eventually got over it by keeping myself busy with hobbies, school work exercise, and coming to this site here.
I know it's not the exact situation but I feel like I can relate a bit.

It does sound like she may not be the best influence and I know you'd like to help her, but I think your friend probably needs some professional help.

I hope this helps a little.
 
If her problems become an attack against you then there's not much you can do. Otherwise you might try to help her with the substance abuse and related issues and hope that makes the friendship more equal / functional.
 
There always have to be an exchange of something in a relationship.
You need to give and to get something back. 
At least for it to be a healthy one. 
Do you feel you get anything back from her? 
Cause if not, then she needs to get her honeysuckle together. 
Going down that road where you just give and give, feeling like nothing is being given back to you.
That’s a waste of time. 
You deserve better. ❤️
 
FrayedEndsOfSanity32 said:
She also used to call me on the phone while drunk and high off cocaine. Going on and on about how she wants to die when something bad happens. One time, she got fired from her job at an alcohol store after being arrested going home while drunk and wearing her work uniform.

A better question would be why you're so keen to date this woman with drug and mental health problems.

You'd be better off accepting the fact that you're just someone she's using to unload on while high, maybe point her in the direction of the help she needs then cut ties.
 
Jessicat said:
There always have to be an exchange of something in a relationship.
You need to give and to get something back. 
At least for it to be a healthy one. 
Do you feel you get anything back from her? 
Cause if not, then she needs to get her honeysuckle together. 
Going down that road where you just give and give, feeling like nothing is being given back to you.
That’s a waste of time. 
You deserve better. ❤️

Absolutely true.
 
Looks like the others have things covered - so I'll just give you my best wishes. But I'd also say that you just have to do what you think is best for you.
 
FrayedEndsOfSanity32 said:
Anyone else have a problem like this with a friend?

Yup.
My ex is in jail for the 3rd time due to her emotional instability and drug abuse.
I broke up with her almost a year before she got arrested the first time because of it.
It wasn't her instability that I couldn't handle, it was her falling into things like coke and meth.
Frankly, I'd have been fine if she'd have just gotten a steady job of some sort and stuck to weed and whiskey, but I guess she didn't fancy the idea of having to be a functioning adult so, I'm glad I broke up with her when I did before she made her problems into my problems....because: I don't roll like that as a person. I just don't. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. After that, it's no longer your problem.
I'm sorry you lost your friend, that honeysuckle sucks, I've been there.
I hope that person wasn't using you, because if they were: that'll make you question the friendship entirely, and that can be a real blow.
 
I thought I had a friend but really this person befriended me to basically feed their ego. Be careful of this because you fall into the trap of believing that your friendship is genuine but the minute their ego is fed enough they will do a 180 on you. Next thing you know you’re dealing with a person you barely know and you’re getting shitted on simply because you’re no longer convenient.
 
The first thought that came to my mind was: you shouldn't ignore her..
But I hear what some folks here say as well,  there are people who feed off others like parasites...
Determining whether the said person is a parasite or not is the hard part...
 
Lonewolf33 said:
I thought I had a friend but really this person befriended me to basically feed their ego. Be careful of this because you fall into the trap of believing that your friendship is genuine but the minute their ego is fed enough they will do a 180 on you. Next thing you know you’re dealing with a person you barely know and you’re getting shitted on simply because you’re no longer convenient.

I have also experienced this with the only 'friends' I thought I had. They were using me to feed their individual 'egos' and their collective 'ego' (the tribal ethnic community they belonged to) by using me as a non-white prop to pretend they and their community aren't racist. Over the years I came to discover just how sneaky and truly racist they were in surprising ways, masked with sophisticated forms of double-speak that fools most of the people around them (and the rest of the population in general). If you think someone is using you that way the sad truth is that you should disavail yourself of all illusions about them and the 'friendship', and get away from them as soon as possible.
 
I'm still friends with the chick on Facebook, but we're not talking. As usual with almost everyone, I don't talk much anyway. But I'm about to get rid of her completely. Funny thing is, shes a police/military supporter and I was in the military. So its a bit odd and annoying how she acts and the fact she uses narcotics. "I haven't done cocaine in over a month", she says, like thats supposed to make a difference. I don't want to date her anymore, but I did at one point. Shes actually in Texas, and I'm in California, so I can't help her regardless.

I do deserve better, but so far, I've come across quite a few nutcases just like this one I developed feelings for over time and some reciprocated the feelings, and some didn't.

Fortunately, I got an older woman interested in me and she rocks so theres that.
 
I decided that the girl in question here, Samantha, is just too toxic for me to even have as a best friend. So I blocked her on everything. She tried to call my phone, but I blocked that too. I'm not interested. And my guess is she just wants to argue. Toxic, toxic, toxic. This is why I don't normally like people.
 

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