theunknownman
Member
Hi, My name is Phil and I am in the UK. I found this site by accident.
I am 54 and so alone. I can sum up how I feel in a few words. Lonely, lost, miserable, empty, cold, isolated. I could go on but I guess you get the drift.
I've never had any friends or had a real meaningful relationship with a woman. I have absolutely ZERO confidence in ANYTHING! It is COMPLETELY SHOT TO PIECES!!
When I was a child I was always beaten up by a couple of other boys who did not like each other. If I played out with one, the other would start a fight with me and vice versa. It got so bad that I just stayed in the house. Then they both picked on me because I didn't play out anymore. Then when I started my teens I had acne bad and when I say bad, I mean REALLY bad and I got bullied at school for that and girls used to cringe at me. I also got bullied by a couple of my teachers (that's the truth) in front of classmates. What example is that to show children eh? I've never really had any sympathy shown to me by anyone throughout my life apart from my parents who are now both deceased and my sister.
I even got abuse on a closed Facebook page that I used to be on, just because I did not upload an avatar onto my account. I thought "What is the point?" And just left that group. I don't need some arsewipes that no bugger all about me abusing me for something that is so trivial and has nothing to do with them.
I was a full time carer to my mother for 10 years until she sadly passed away last year. She was the only friend I had apart from my sister.
I've no job, no friends, no woman in my life. Is it worth carrying on living?
Constantly being alone is WORSE than a prison sentence and before anyone asks, NO, I haven't been banged up before.
I consider myself to be a decent person, have good principles etc but I am sinking lower and lower. I have considered suicide on and off, more so in the last 6 months.
Although it feels embarrassing to be here and talking about this (I've never told anyone before about how I feel) it seems that most here are in the same boat.
I hope people on here are not quick to criticize or slag me off. That would make me feel really rotten. I'm not controversial or anything like that. I think I've said enough for now.
Thank you for taking the time to read my first post.
I am 54 and so alone. I can sum up how I feel in a few words. Lonely, lost, miserable, empty, cold, isolated. I could go on but I guess you get the drift.
I've never had any friends or had a real meaningful relationship with a woman. I have absolutely ZERO confidence in ANYTHING! It is COMPLETELY SHOT TO PIECES!!
When I was a child I was always beaten up by a couple of other boys who did not like each other. If I played out with one, the other would start a fight with me and vice versa. It got so bad that I just stayed in the house. Then they both picked on me because I didn't play out anymore. Then when I started my teens I had acne bad and when I say bad, I mean REALLY bad and I got bullied at school for that and girls used to cringe at me. I also got bullied by a couple of my teachers (that's the truth) in front of classmates. What example is that to show children eh? I've never really had any sympathy shown to me by anyone throughout my life apart from my parents who are now both deceased and my sister.
I even got abuse on a closed Facebook page that I used to be on, just because I did not upload an avatar onto my account. I thought "What is the point?" And just left that group. I don't need some arsewipes that no bugger all about me abusing me for something that is so trivial and has nothing to do with them.
I was a full time carer to my mother for 10 years until she sadly passed away last year. She was the only friend I had apart from my sister.
I've no job, no friends, no woman in my life. Is it worth carrying on living?
Constantly being alone is WORSE than a prison sentence and before anyone asks, NO, I haven't been banged up before.
I consider myself to be a decent person, have good principles etc but I am sinking lower and lower. I have considered suicide on and off, more so in the last 6 months.
Although it feels embarrassing to be here and talking about this (I've never told anyone before about how I feel) it seems that most here are in the same boat.
I hope people on here are not quick to criticize or slag me off. That would make me feel really rotten. I'm not controversial or anything like that. I think I've said enough for now.
Thank you for taking the time to read my first post.