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Braveheart74

Member
Joined
Mar 4, 2019
Messages
13
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1
Location
Washington State USA
I’m new here and want to introduce myself, like so many on here I feel very isolated and don’t have any close friends.  Over the years I became increasingly depressed and agoraphobic, only going out when I absolutely have to.  I’m now 44 and feel like giving up.

A lot of it comes from abuse and things that happened to me as a child that completely crushed my self esteem and being the scapegoat of the family didn’t help matters, which still continues to this day. I feel so cut off from others I don’t even know how to really socialize anymore.   When I was younger I did have some close friends and was involved in a few relationship but as I got older and uglier eventually I was left completely alone and it’s been this way for many years.

Anyway I’m hoping to find some people too connect with.
 
Welcome, to the matrix, where you can be whoever you want.
 
Red pill is a naughty internet term now. Be careful with it.

But anyway, welcome, pal. Hope you can make some friends here.
 
[size=small][size=small]The red pill thing isn't meant to be taken too seriously besides it depends on who you ask, I agree [/size] with the[/size] comedian George Carlin's pov on the world, everything is BS, our Politian’s are full of BS, our education system is full of BS, our history is full of BS, our nation was built on BS, Hell I think we might all be full of BS too, lol (just my sense of humour) :p
 
So sorry for what you are going through.  Guess what, you just connected by posting.  And it's the first step of many.  Now that you've reached out, keep reaching.  There are people here who are willing to listen, to connect and encourage.   As a second step, may I suggest a little less self judgment.  It doesn't give us the opportunity to know the real you if you tell us what you think we should see.  Give us a chance and perhaps we can build some strong connections and help you feel close to some caring people.  Prayers for peace and strength.
 
My worst critic is myself, truth is I don't think I've ever had a positive self image. I was a little more self confident in my mid to late teen years since I was way better looking than, long thick blonde hair and blue eyes did get me more attention from girls and generally I got more respect from people but those days are long gone. Of course it was just an outside image I had, I still felt like crap about myself.

I feel like I'm a diamond in the rough (not in a conceited way), ugly and undesirable on the outside, a good heart on the inside.
 

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