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Self esteem
#1
Hi everyone I'm new on here. And would like some advice I battle with loss self esteem and self worth there are alot of days where I look in the mirror and hate what I see and avoid all mirrors it is now effecting my relationship causing arguments I get jelous as I hate the way I look and judge others for being what I want to be. And wonder why my partner is even with me when I feel there are better out there than me I have no self worth or confidence I feel that I am ugly and a sad excuse for a girl sometimes. I just don't know what you guys do if you feel like this and how you manage with it so it doesn't escalate to arguments.

Thank you X
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#2
Hi, welcome.

Personally, I think it's your line of thinking that's the problem. I mean, you have a partner and they clearly like you for any number of reasons: As a person, being around you, or they don't think you're ugly like you do. Have you ever brought up how you're feeling with them? I can't think of anyone better *to* tell.

Once you realize that, I think things might start to change. Or maybe they should also start telling you that none of what you think about yourself is true, nor matters to them, or should to you.
Why care what people you have no relationship with, or don't even like, think about you? They don't matter.
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#3
Thank you for your response he does tell me what he thinks each and every day in that moment I believe him and I do believe he thinks that of me but it's like a wall I have up that enables me to think that of myself I just don't see it and reading this I'm thinking wow thos is really sad and it is. it's like a trap and I don't know a way out of it sometimes I feel I'm trapped in a body that I hate. I do love myself some days don't get me wrong but it is not often I complelty think I look good todsy it's usually I'll do I suppose. My partner is brilliant with me and puts up with so much I just don't know how to believe all this myself it's like a mental block I have There
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#4
I'm going to give you some advice that is going to sound really bad. Stop thinking for yourself!

Now, I don't mean life decisions or anything like that, just about how you feel about yourself. You already know that you can see yourself in a realistic way, so base everything on other people until you start seeing it. Base it off the people who care about you. Look at how your partner sees you, what he says, how he responds to you. Look at how other people respond to you, how they look at you, what they say to you.
What do you not like about how you look? Is it something that can be changed, like with makeup or a new hairstyle or different clothes? I know a lot of people are going to say "be yourself, accept who you are, etc etc" and I'm not saying you shouldn't because you should. BUT, I also knows how it feels to hate yourself and how you look and not be able to judge yourself in a realistic way. I can't say that I'm 100% okay with how I look, but I know I'm the only person that feels that way about myself and that helps. Find a way to help yourself be okay with how you look, even if it's with makeup or clothes or whatever. Find something you do like about yourself and accentuate that feature. Focus on the good aspects and not so much on the bad.
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#5
I started doing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu at the start of this year and feel like my esteem is improving a bit from it. Also having a band that I'm proud of is having an effect.
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#6
Callie and Enpatsu have some good ideas, Claire1995. If people whom you know like you and find you attractive, try and focus on that when you're troubled with thoughts of poor self esteem and self worth.

@lostintheBardo: good on you!
Contentment comes from within.  Do not seek it from outside yourself.

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#7
I know the feeling of not liking yourself, I’m sorry you are feeling this way! I have parts of me that I don’t like. What is it about you that makes you feel uncomfortable? I like to work out and that makes me feel better about myself, it may help you too. It can be hard to feel the positive meaning when I get complimented. If I get comments on my insecure parts I tend to not believe it. Have you been feeling like this for long?
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#8
As long as you're not a psycho rapist who gets their jollies off murdering or making people's lives miserable, then you must be a pretty stand-up person.

Smile
To quote a popular werewolf film - 'Everyone's cursed.  It's called life'
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