Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Life is over?
#1
I just turned 27(f)
I went through a period of depression, and have always been insecure. I dealt with mental abuse from alcoholic parents and older siblings. I have been living with my grand parents
My parents and siblings broke me and made me feel less than my whole life! 
Last two years I turned my depression into aggression. I worked 2 jobs for a solid two years. I was able to save $27k in 2 years. I did nothing but work to keep my mind off of myself. It was tough but I knew I needed the money to better my life!
Now that I have the money to move to Miami. I am looking to start a new life and be a bartender. 
However, i feel too old. I am a virgin and I am worried how to tell a guy. Guys tries to hit on me on the time but I am so insecure I have never new how to let anyone in. I am ready now!

Where do I start, can’t I just fake til I make it. Cause I’m not dumb and I’m very intelligent in life! But I just been broke for so long. 
Reply
#2
Yes, you can "fake it til you make it," but only if you are actively trying to make it. If you just continue on faking it all the time without trying, things will likely get worse. But make sure you don't "fake" it too much, you want to only act like you want to be that way when you make it you aren't changing everything about the act.

Find a place, find a job, and go get your new life. It can be whatever you want it to be. Don't let the past weigh you down, you are your own person and your family and what they did to you doesn't have to define you. You got this!
Want to talk?  Check out the CHAT ROOM 

[Image: Quotefancy-19173-3840x2160.jpg?resize=1165%2C655&ssl=1]
Reply
#3
You sound A LOT like me...even similar fucked up family backgrounds...
I'm 30. Shit though, I remember being 27...I'm a musician so I was scared as Hell something was gonna happen to me (due to the 27 Club...where a lot of musicians died at the age of 27 Toungue ).

It's different when you HAVE to fight...things like love and relationships become entirely optional and to some degree, this strange kind of a push/pull feeling of wanting someone but needing to be in control of your own situation first etc.

If you're gonna come down here to Florida, don't stay in the Miami area too long.
Especially if you're in the bartending business.
Competition's too stiff, weather conditions are pretty rough during the Summer, prices are higher in Miami than anywhere else in Florida.
My recommendation (or suggestion, rather...since I've lived all over this state now for pretty much my whole life) would be somewhere over by the Saint Petersburg or Tampa area. Less competition, more interesting events, cheaper living costs, better weather conditions.

I pulled about half that in money when I was 23 and 24. (Florida's A LOT cheaper to live in, so if you make adjustments...it's relative...)
The money's gone now, but I spent it all on experiences and traveling (yes, like in a gypsy caravan) in my touring days across the U.S.
The important thing is though that I came up with a system for it when I was younger and know how to manage it.
I have a background in operations management and shipping/receiving management, so I pretty much work all the time too.

Currently working on re-building that. The biggest wrench in my system being factors of other people like my parents that don't know how to budget (I'm sure you've dealt with this situation before).

As for being a virgin?
Most guys aren't gonna care.
And if you explain that you just grew up rough and you had to fight to survive, they'll probably understand.
Honestly your developed life skills at your age are probably going to be the biggest attractions to a man that's actually worth your time.
What I mean is: Don't take any crap from a guy just because you're into him. You clearly seem to know what you're doing, so: props lady.

Anyway, welcome to A.L.L. Hope you have a blast here.
Mostly everyone's pretty helpful and sincere.
"Of Fire in Nature, Love in Spirit unkenned,
Life, hath no axle, no spring, and no End"
Reply
#4
Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry that how your family treated you affected your self-esteem and insecurities. I am glad you are looking for a fresh start. Have you been to counseling to heal from mental and physical abuse? Often we try to start over, but the baggage from the past follows us. I am learning about how we have to reprogram ourselves to love ourselves, through changing our beliefs and attitudes about our self. That starts with relationships as well. Being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of. I believe waiting for the right guy, the one God wants you to marry, is who you should wait for. Don't rush into sex. Relationships are hard and sex only complicates things. Here are some articles https://bit.ly/2TGpzeo I think that may help you think about waiting for Mr. Right. I also pray before you get into any relationship you should make sure you love yourself first, and appreciate who you are and who God designed you to be. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. Sending Hugs and Blessings!
Reply
#5
How are you doing this week? My prayers have been with you? Hugs!
Reply


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
Toungue Therapy draining my life energy hellostarlight 2 394 04-03-2019, 12:24 PM
Last Post: constant stranger
  My life might be over TheWolf 5 375 03-29-2019, 01:59 PM
Last Post: LostintheBardo
  Life is over? TheAnxiousPain 3 433 03-18-2019, 01:25 AM
Last Post: LittleCrow
  What are you dreams/goals in life? Rainbows 44 3,597 02-28-2019, 08:31 AM
Last Post: Enpatsu No Shakugan
Smile I think my life is done TheWolf 2 397 02-17-2019, 09:25 AM
Last Post: TheWolf
  Feel like giving up on life TheWolf 7 555 01-13-2019, 12:09 AM
Last Post: IncolaVacui
Question Tess's life foxy 4 919 10-29-2018, 09:57 PM
Last Post: Jessicat
  I have already lost in life llost 4 851 10-25-2018, 08:09 AM
Last Post: Jessicat
  I'm so sick of life el Jay 7 1,363 10-18-2018, 12:37 PM
Last Post: el Jay
  is my life over with? TheAnxiousPain 10 1,094 09-14-2018, 11:37 AM
Last Post: Guzheng

Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)