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Hello, everyone.
#1
Hello everyone!  I wasn’t always lonely, but sometimes it seems like life has a way of putting you on that road regardless of if you chose it for yourself or not. My life changed drastically when I was thirteen years old.  My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I spent two years in and out of hospitals with her.  In the midst of this, I was diagnosed with anxiety/panic disorder as well as clinical depression.  I have been suffering with these disorders for over half of my life now.  As a teenager, I spent a lot of my time at home, trying to ensure my mom was comfortable while she was dying.  On my brothers birthday, she committed suicide.  At her visitation, the guy I was dating dumped me— he apparently thought he was doing me a favor by staying with me until she died.  Shortly afterwards, the two people I considered as my best friends, ditched me as well.  They said they just couldn’t stand seeing me in the state I was in.  I had a friend in an ex up until recently, but that relationship also disintegrated after I was unable to see him in person due to my anxiety.  He thought I didn’t care about him because I wasn’t able to really talk to him much, due to the fact that I work graveyard shift (it’s not my preferred shift, but it’s a way to not see many people).  I know in a sense, I’m self sabotaging myself working graveyard shift, but it’s what works for me at the moment.  It’s just really hard to meet people.  Besides all of that mess, I’m an artist (whenever my depression allows me to be), music is an important aspect of my life— it’s always there for me, I love my animals and reading.  I’m terrible at conversing, but I’m a little better when it comes to talking to someone online...  I have a hard time figuring out what to talk about, and admittedly— embarrassingly enough, I have a bad habit of rambling to fill in those uncomfortable silences.  I’d like to say I’m a terrific listener and I give decent advice.  Well, I’m tiring of talking about myself...  and I hope that maybe someone here would enjoy talking every now and again.
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#2
Welcome friend! Im Toast! I’m sorry what you’ve gone through, I haven’t experienced all of the same, but I can relate to you. I hope your time here will give you new strength, don’t feel afraid to PM.
Great men are forged in fire. It is the privilege of lesser men to light the flame.
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#3
I could talk to you if you want. I'm in my 20s from Europe and I'm a bit lost now... still up for a live convo since I'm in a new place and don't talk that much irl.
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#4
welcome! Sorry for everything ur going through. I have a horrible time talking to people cause of social phobia. I love animals too! pm me anytime!!!!!
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#5
What a difficult path your life has made you walk. I'm glad you're here and hope you stay for awhile.
Burn the past.  Turn the page, start a new chapter.  Move on.

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#6
(03-14-2019, 11:55 PM)Jopparoad Wrote: Hello everyone!  I wasn’t always lonely, but sometimes it seems like life has a way of putting you on that road regardless of if you chose it for yourself or not. My life changed drastically when I was thirteen years old.  My mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and I spent two years in and out of hospitals with her.  In the midst of this, I was diagnosed with anxiety/panic disorder as well as clinical depression.  I have been suffering with these disorders for over half of my life now.  As a teenager, I spent a lot of my time at home, trying to ensure my mom was comfortable while she was dying.  On my brothers birthday, she committed suicide.  At her visitation, the guy I was dating dumped me— he apparently thought he was doing me a favor by staying with me until she died.  Shortly afterwards, the two people I considered as my best friends, ditched me as well.  They said they just couldn’t stand seeing me in the state I was in.  I had a friend in an ex up until recently, but that relationship also disintegrated after I was unable to see him in person due to my anxiety.  He thought I didn’t care about him because I wasn’t able to really talk to him much, due to the fact that I work graveyard shift (it’s not my preferred shift, but it’s a way to not see many people).  I know in a sense, I’m self sabotaging myself working graveyard shift, but it’s what works for me at the moment.  It’s just really hard to meet people.  Besides all of that mess, I’m an artist (whenever my depression allows me to be), music is an important aspect of my life— it’s always there for me, I love my animals and reading.  I’m terrible at conversing, but I’m a little better when it comes to talking to someone online...  I have a hard time figuring out what to talk about, and admittedly— embarrassingly enough, I have a bad habit of rambling to fill in those uncomfortable silences.  I’d like to say I’m a terrific listener and I give decent advice.  Well, I’m tiring of talking about myself...  and I hope that maybe someone here would enjoy talking every now and again.

Hi- I’m very sorry for all you are going through. We are all here for you.
I hope you will stay in the forum and will be blessed.
I pray that you will stay hopeful and will keep going. God bless. Take care.
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