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Lost another potential friend
#11
(03-19-2019, 07:50 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote: Our last interaction was a hug and “hey call me if you ever need something”. But now when I call it’s awkward and I get the strong vibe that I shouldn’t be contacting them. So I no longer contact them.

You're afraid that they are avoiding you, so you are avoiding them. For the friendship it will lead to the same result..

It could be that they have other problems and sound annoyed and you take it personally.

If you really sense some vibe and it's not your anxiety then just back off a bit and contact them less often. if you already rarely contact them and still get this vibe then maybe you'll need a better reason to call them. It's all subtle and depends on level of friendship, so it's hard to give advice on that, you need to listen to your instinct.

Better don't ask whether they are avoiding you. Cause this question is pointless and can be annoying by itself.

Overall I'd say don't give up on this friendship and don't force it just take it easy.
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#12
(03-21-2019, 05:49 AM)charmeleon Wrote:
(03-19-2019, 07:50 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote: Our last interaction was a hug and “hey call me if you ever need something”. But now when I call it’s awkward and I get the strong vibe that I shouldn’t be contacting them. So I no longer contact them.

You're afraid that they are avoiding you, so you are avoiding them. For the friendship it will lead to the same result..

It could be that they have other problems and sound annoyed and you take it personally.

If you really sense some vibe and it's not your anxiety then just back off a bit and contact them less often. if you already rarely contact them and still get this vibe then maybe you'll need a better reason to call them. It's all subtle and depends on level of friendship, so it's hard to give advice on that, you need to listen to your instinct.

Better don't ask whether they are avoiding you. Cause this question is pointless and can be annoying by itself.

Overall I'd say don't give up on this friendship and don't force it just take it easy.

I’ve mostly written it off stopped contacting them. Friendship shouldn’t make you feel like your nuisance or what not. I rather wallow in my own misery without adding to it.
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#13
(03-21-2019, 01:37 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote:
(03-21-2019, 05:49 AM)charmeleon Wrote:
(03-19-2019, 07:50 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote: Our last interaction was a hug and “hey call me if you ever need something”. But now when I call it’s awkward and I get the strong vibe that I shouldn’t be contacting them. So I no longer contact them.

You're afraid that they are avoiding you, so you are avoiding them. For the friendship it will lead to the same result..

It could be that they have other problems and sound annoyed and you take it personally.

If you really sense some vibe and it's not your anxiety then just back off a bit and contact them less often. if you already rarely contact them and still get this vibe then maybe you'll need a better reason to call them. It's all subtle and depends on level of friendship, so it's hard to give advice on that, you need to listen to your instinct.

Better don't ask whether they are avoiding you. Cause this question is pointless and can be annoying by itself.

Overall I'd say don't give up on this friendship and don't force it just take it easy.

I’ve mostly written it off stopped contacting them. Friendship shouldn’t make you feel like your nuisance or what we. I rather wallow in my own misery without adding to it.

Sure hope you didn't just involuntarily end it instead.
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#14
(03-21-2019, 02:10 PM)Enpatsu No Shakugan Wrote:
(03-21-2019, 01:37 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote:
(03-21-2019, 05:49 AM)charmeleon Wrote:
(03-19-2019, 07:50 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote: Our last interaction was a hug and “hey call me if you ever need something”. But now when I call it’s awkward and I get the strong vibe that I shouldn’t be contacting them. So I no longer contact them.

You're afraid that they are avoiding you, so you are avoiding them. For the friendship it will lead to the same result..

It could be that they have other problems and sound annoyed and you take it personally.

If you really sense some vibe and it's not your anxiety then just back off a bit and contact them less often. if you already rarely contact them and still get this vibe then maybe you'll need a better reason to call them. It's all subtle and depends on level of friendship, so it's hard to give advice on that, you need to listen to your instinct.

Better don't ask whether they are avoiding you. Cause this question is pointless and can be annoying by itself.

Overall I'd say don't give up on this friendship and don't force it just take it easy.

I’ve mostly written it off stopped contacting them. Friendship shouldn’t make you feel like your nuisance or what we. I rather wallow in my own misery without adding to it.

Sure hope you didn't just involuntarily end it instead.

I wouldn’t say I ended it per se I’m just choosing to stay to myself. I don’t expect the other person to remain in contact with me. So it will just die it’s own death
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#15
(03-21-2019, 01:37 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote: I’ve mostly written it off stopped contacting them. Friendship shouldn’t make you feel like your nuisance or what not. I rather wallow in my own misery without adding to it.

Kind of sounds to me like you are the one making yourself feel like a nuisance or whatnot.
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#16
So, I have this issue too. I start feeling like a nuisance and that's partly because I always expect people to put in the same effort as me. I've worked on this because it's annoying. I openly tell them that is how I feel. Like, when I started to feel like a nuisance with one of my friends, I told them: "I feel like I'm annoying you and I'm stopping to talk because I don't want to feel like you don't want to talk to me". We talked through it and moved past it and we're closer than ever now, without talking every day.
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#17
(03-19-2019, 01:11 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote: Though I post a lot about being depressed, lonely, and even suicidal I still attempt to make friends. I thought I had established a semi-friendship but naturally it’s gone the same way as so many of my relationships. Now it’s in the territory where I’m not told outright not to contact them but they make very minimal effort and always kept conversations short and limited. I don’t know what’s worse getting rejected with a hard no or a slow freeze-out...

I'm sorry that you are going thru such a difficult time.  don't be so hard on yourself.  try to focus on the good things, like what you like to do.  Believe in yourself my friend.  Smile
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#18
(03-23-2019, 11:26 AM)Sabio77 Wrote:
(03-19-2019, 01:11 PM)Lonewolf33 Wrote: Though I post a lot about being depressed, lonely, and even suicidal I still attempt to make friends. I thought I had established a semi-friendship but naturally it’s gone the same way as so many of my relationships. Now it’s in the territory where I’m not told outright not to contact them but they make very minimal effort and always kept conversations short and limited. I don’t know what’s worse getting rejected with a hard no or a slow freeze-out...

I'm sorry that you are going thru such a difficult time.  don't be so hard on yourself.  try to focus on the good things, like what you like to do.  Believe in yourself my friend.  Smile

Thank you for your kind words
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