How do people know that I am a loner?

redbeard 44 said:

I often wonder if people know or not.  I mean they all know I'm divorced with no kids and live alone.  They might think I have friends because I talk about fantasy football and can be engaging and sunny at work at times, but there are times when I sit in my cubicle all day and no one says a word to me, like they know.  What they don't know is that my weekends are 2 days of desperately trying to kill time until work Monday morning.  Yes, I actually look forward to Monday mornings because at least I'll be around someone who at least knows my name.  They don't know I have a routine M-F after work that keeps me occupied enough to not dwell on the silence.  That's the worst part about loneliness, the silence.  They might think I'm a loner, but they'll never know what that entails.

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You still lived a better life than me.

You got the chance to experience marriage.
I have nothing.

I never had a friend in my whole entire life. My social skills sucks, I don't know typical social norms, and I am naive.

This is just an assumption. I assume because of my social skills people know that I am a loser.

Being a loner isn't bad. A lot of really good intelligent people past and present are loners. Some people will attach a negative to it but many more enlightened people will not. Being a loner does not mean "unfriendly" or "not nice". You can be very nice and even a good friend as a loner.

They say people can tell the truth about us just by being around us. I'd just own it. If you are a loner accept it and yourself. There is nothing wrong with it.

Trying to hide who you really are is very exhausting. It would be better to put positive energy into your own life.

HappyYogi said:

Being a loner isn't bad. A lot of really good intelligent people past and present are loners.  Some people will attach a negative to it but many more enlightened people will not. Being a loner does not mean "unfriendly" or "not nice".  You can be very nice and even a good friend as a loner.

They say people can tell the truth about us just by being around us.  I'd just own it.  If you are a loner accept it and yourself.  There is nothing wrong with it.

Trying to hide who you really are is very exhausting.  It would be better to put positive energy into your own life.

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it can also be extremely lonely & depressing.  being alone means that you will inevitably miss out on some of life's greatest treasures such as a fulfilling intimate relationship.  perhaps some people can be comfortable with this but for others, knowing you are not good enough to experience it is an extremely bitter pill to swallow indeed.

I don't feel insulted if someone calls me a loner. in fact its a badge of honor. it means Im not a sheep.

HappyYogi said:

Being a loner isn't bad. A lot of really good intelligent people past and present are loners.  Some people will attach a negative to it but many more enlightened people will not. Being a loner does not mean "unfriendly" or "not nice".  You can be very nice and even a good friend as a loner.

They say people can tell the truth about us just by being around us.  I'd just own it.  If you are a loner accept it and yourself.  There is nothing wrong with it.

Trying to hide who you really are is very exhausting.  It would be better to put positive energy into your own life.

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That's true. Some of the most famous, brilliant people were loners - Einstein, Emily Dickinson (spent her last years never leaving her parents' house!), Isaac Newton, Tesla (never seemed interested in women/relationships), etc. Lots of very noble hermit/sages throughout history, too, in all societies.

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People can tell I'm a loner - and that I'm Forever Alone, though that's extremely uncommon in a female. I look unattractive facially, and I'm very awkward. I'm seen as uncool, dowdy, and easy to bully. No one ever asks if I'm in a relationship - they assume, correctly, that I'm not, and never will. I'm basically a nothing in society.

advancedip said:

Everyone that I talk to instantly know that I am a loner.

All my coworkers know I am a loner.
My classmates know I am a loner.

Is it because I have no social skills?

How can I mask this? How can I look like I have friends even when I don't.
I don't know about you but its kind of insulting whens someone tells you, "you are a loner".

I hope everyone on this forum feels the same way about this.
If someone tells you, you are a loner. Do you feel insulted?
I cry every time I lay in bed when someone calls me a loner.
I feel like no one cares about me because they are disrespecting me.

How can I talk to people when everyone thinks I am a loner?

What do "normal" people (people with friends) act so other people or strangers that they talk to don't instantly think I am a loner?

My coworkers and my classmates don't know anything about me. They know that I am a loner well I guess assuming. But they assumed right.

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maybe because they sense your vulnerability, wanting love, validation, agree to say yes, quick to see problems, wanting to help, too nice this all happen to me. also from your body language, be careful of narcs they feed on you. 

yes it is a wrath insult, so reminded me of my narcs so is better leave that toxic person he or she don't deserve you.
know that you are better off without them, they have issues.

is better to embrace your alone time, people who fit you will come around eventually. 
act confident, have a self love.

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humourless said:

I don't feel insulted if someone calls me a loner. in fact its a badge of honor. it means Im not a sheep.

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you are banned, but your words is true.

It's easy for people to say accept it as your identity without really grasping what it's like to get old without any close friends. Yes you have to change, behave in ways you might not want to in order the meet the expectations of others but that's the price you pay for company.

It's probably a mixture or body language, insecurity, inconsistent social skills culminating in you appearing closed off. If people are bringing it up in a non-malicious way it means they probably want you to relax a bit, and that's most of the work done for you. Personally I never experienced that kind of good will from others when I was younger. But this is a different generation. There's been some big cultural changes between Gen X and Millenials/post Millenials. You say other people view you as loser but unless they're openly mocking you that's just speculation.

Plenty of time to withdraw and become a loner when you're older, decades of peace of quiet where nobody will care if you're alive or dead. But it's good to have a choice in this. Now is the time to put in the effort, anyway.