Do you find it hard to forgive yourself for the wrong you've done?

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Raph

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To be honest, it's much easier for me to forgive others for the things they've done to me. It should be the opposite don't you think? What does this say about what a person thinks about him or herself when they are able to forgive others easier? Does this mean I should have more respect for myself, or do I care more about other people's feelings? Do you find yourself feeling this way?
 
I think it's harder to forgive oneself because YOU had the control and the opportunity to not screw something up, and you still did. So it's only natural those feelings take longer to go away or maybe even never do.

Forgiving oneself isn't as important as taking something of value from the failure or learning from it to maybe not allow it to happen again. That's my thought.

There are still lots of stuff I cannot believe I did, and thus hardly forgive, but I still find valuable experiences. And at least then it doesn't sting so much. Not forgiven, but acceptable since something came from it.
 
At one point I did. Although, it took a while for me to stop blaming others and the world in general for me to even see my own fault in what I have done and what's been done to me.
But, that was the past and as I tell my kids and my niece and nephews, we all fresia up, we all make mistakes. We can't change any of that. All we can do is look forward and try to do better in the future. There's no point in beating yourself up over honeysuckle you can't change, so it's best just to forgive yourself and move on, learn from what you did wrong and allow yourself to grow and be a better person. That is how I choose to live my life and it has not only made me a better person, it's also made me more content with life and who I am. If you can't accept yourself and forgive yourself, you'll never be able to make yourself better.
 
Raph said:
To be honest, it's much easier for me to forgive others for the things they've done to me. It should be the opposite don't you think? What does this say about what a person thinks about him or herself when they are able to forgive others easier? Does this mean I should have more respect for myself, or do I care more about other people's feelings? Do you find yourself feeling this way?
I think the ideal is "equally". But easier said then done.
I can dwell on hurts done to me and exaggerate them in my twisted mind. But I can also spend hours torturing myself for my own misdeeds.
"forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."
Ive never found forgiveness easy. But if you can achieve it for others and yourself, you will be truly set free. Its something worth aiming for. Sincere prayer is useful and asking for help to do "the impossible" advisable.
 
What a great question!

I have no ill feelings toward anyone and must have forgiven everyone, mostly maybe because it feels so nice to hold no malice.  Malice is a heavy thing.

On the other hand, there is one unmentionable failure in my life that despite knowing it was caused by my illnesses, I can't let myself dwell on it.  And of course I don't want to say what this entails but it wasn't murder.  It wasn't a crime.  It was a failure to be the hero to someone I love.

Wow, typing this actually feels ok.  Maybe there is clarity when describing it even in misty patches, as compared to just letting the results beat against me like waves.  I never intended for those results...and they hurt me so much at the time and will never feel better.

Wow but no one should feel that if they couldn't stand like a Titan and save everyone that they were a failure.  Or I suppose we would all feel like failures.

So I turn my head to today and tomorrow as much as I can, and try to be a better man.
 
I have a lot of difficulty forgiving my self for failures of action that I wish I had done. The same goes for misdeeds I wish I hadn't committed. I'm no stranger to self punishment.
I also have a bad habit of holding grudges against other people. Intellectually I know that hanging on to a grudge makes about as much sense as holding poison in my own mouth and thinking it's going to hurt someone else.
OK, I know better and I'm working on it. I am, really.
 
Any mistakes I've made tend to revolve around me saying stupid things and being oblivious to what I've just said; though I'm trying harder to be careful about this nowadays. But I understand that it's only because I haven't been around people much - not people outside of close family, anyway. So I try to learn from my mistakes.
 

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