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You have the right to be happy
#1
Do you honestly feel that you don't deserve the happiness in life that many others do? We are all in this together on this planet. No matter how rich you are or how poor you are, there will always be people better off or worse off. I used to look at myself as a worthless piece of scum, and that's why nobody liked me and I was lonely as a result. You know what? It was all in my own feckin' head! I found that doing things that made me happy and helping others be happy provided a sense of self-worth and instilled confidence in me. I soon realized that I was a decent person and have things offer this world. You only live once. Use the time to enjoy yourself and help others enjoy their lives. You can't live any better than that. What good is being a millionaire if you spend every damn day wallowing in your own self-pity and doubt about your personal worth as a human? What's good about having tons of friends if you don't think enough of yourself to enjoy that popularity? What is it about yourself that makes you feel so awful?
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#2
Id rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable. 
I will have you know that I have become rather attached to my self pity. We have become intimate. I cant live without her. er I mean him. oh whatever...…………..
Money cant buy happiness but at least you can afford different distractions from the ones you have now.
Raph im glad you have found true happiness through Jesus Christ. But unfort. his idea of happiness is accepting suffering. Which I must say makes me less faithful and more doubtful.
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#3
(03-26-2019, 11:01 PM)humourless Wrote: Id rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable. 
I will have you know that I have become rather attached to my self pity. We have become intimate. I cant live without her. er I mean him. oh whatever...…………..
Money cant buy happiness but at least you can afford different distractions from the ones you have now.
Raph im glad you have found true happiness through Jesus Christ. But unfort. his idea of happiness is accepting suffering. Which I must say makes me less faithful and more doubtful.

Where did he mention religion at all?
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#4
Of course everyone has a right to be happy. But, it's easier to stay miserable. To pull yourself out of the shitfest you find yourself in, no matter the reason, it requires hard work. Honestly, it was one of the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. It would have been SO much easy to hold on to the anger and hate and miserable existence that I was living. There's also the fear involved in pulling your shit together and getting out of your slump. "What if nothing changes" and all that. I think that's what stops most people, the fear of nothing changing. I had that same fear, but I pushed through it and while I can't say I'm happy as a clam, I am very content with myself and my life. It was 100% worth the hard work.
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#5
(03-26-2019, 11:24 PM)TheRealCallie Wrote: Of course everyone has a right to be happy.  But, it's easier to stay miserable.  To pull yourself out of the shitfest you find yourself in, no matter the reason, it requires hard work.  Honestly, it was one of the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.  It would have been SO much easy to hold on to the anger and hate and miserable existence that I was living.  There's also the fear involved in pulling your shit together and getting out of your slump.  "What if nothing changes" and all that. I think that's what stops most people, the fear of nothing changing.  I had that same fear, but I pushed through it and while I can't say I'm happy as a clam, I am very content with myself and my life.  It was 100% worth the hard work.

"Of course everyone has a right to be happy"

Many people with low self-esteem including myself at one time, don't feel that they deserve the right to be happy in my experience.
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#6
sorry if my post was disrespectful. trying to be funny is a bad habit.
Hey already ive read some very good posts on this forum that make me think I made a good decision to sign up here. This forum may well have quality over quantity.
Raph yes I agree that some people don't think they deserve to be happy. I may have that mindset. I might think that the sins of the past still deserve punishment.
real callie. Honesty as Jordan Peterson says is crucial. Sometimes though I mistake honesty for focussing too much on my own mistakes and the faults of others.
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#7
I have days where I don't feel all that great about myself, but really I love my differences and am confident in that. ONe person happiness is another misery. One person misery is another happiness it all relative really. I content most of the time really has nothing to do with my self-esteem, money or religion. Content is good space to be but I don't live in misery or happiness they are both fading contentment is more doable.
Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. 
      -Oscar Wilde

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#8
(03-27-2019, 03:54 AM)humourless Wrote: sorry if my post was disrespectful. trying to be funny is a bad habit.
Hey already ive read some very good posts on this forum that make me think I made a good decision to sign up here. This forum may well have quality over quantity.
Raph yes I agree that some people don't think they deserve to be happy. I may have that mindset. I might think that the sins of the past still deserve punishment.
real callie. Honesty as Jordan Peterson says is crucial. Sometimes though I mistake honesty for focussing too much on my own mistakes and the faults of others.

No disrespect taken my friend. Smile
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#9
Firstly be careful with the concept of rights. In political philosophy terms there can be no right to happiness unless that means being left alone. Anything that compels others to act in ways that infringe on their rights cannot be considered a right.

In the end I can "love myself" till the cows come home, but I can't force others to desire my company, make what "friends" I have actually give a crap, and force women to find me attractive (or least be comfortable talking to me). These are nearly universally desired things. I could have excellent self-esteem and still live an empty life due to social anxiety, bad looks, bad luck, and not being able to perform the role of a man properly. This is all very much my problem and feeling good, bad or indifferent about myself doesn't change much at all.
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#10
(03-28-2019, 03:44 PM)ardour Wrote: In the end I can "love myself" till the cows come home, but I can't force others to desire my company, make what "friends" I have actually give a crap, and force women to find me attractive (or least be comfortable talking to me). These are nearly universally desired things. I could have excellent self-esteem and still live an empty life due to social anxiety, bad looks, bad luck, and not being able to perform the role of a man properly.  This is all very much my problem and feeling good, bad or indifferent about myself doesn't change much at all.

Hypotheticals hardly mean anything when you view them through a lens of utter pessimism. When have you actually tried this strategy?

If you go in believing you'll fail, you will fail. It's that simple.
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