How we esteem popularity

Ive found that the essence of respect for someone is not money, is not talent but is popularity.
Someone who doesn't need me to like them because they have so many friends and fans.
A respected person in the community is put on a pedestal.
One of my brothers confided to me recently "George is the happiest in our family. Look at all his grandkids, friends in the community. If anyone should be envied it is him."
So someone like that becomes the benchmark for the rest of us? We should feel like failures if we don't have many friends?
I haver my partner, no kids and a dog. And one friend outside the family. But I rate them all high quality. I like to think I chose quality over quantity.   
But my credibility, my status in my extended family is below average. Maybe im too status conscious. There was a period when my status was high. Cool job overseas. Good money. Exotic lifestyle. How superficial I was though. And of course status changes as we get older. The grandfather with lots of grandkids seems to "win" the game of life in the end. In my twisted view perhaps?   
Im a lonely guy. But look how spiritual I am! Im God s gift to humanity!

Is popularity really the benchmark of respect though, as much as simply idolization/wish fulfillment/jealously, etc?

Enpatsu No Shakugan said:

Is popularity really the benchmark of respect though, as much as simply idolization/wish fulfillment/jealously, etc?

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How popular are you? if you don't mind me asking?

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If you discovered I have no friends whatsoever, doesn't a part of you lose respect for me? You might think "why doesn't this guy have any friends. maybe he's a difficult person."

humourless said:

Enpatsu No Shakugan said:

Is popularity really the benchmark of respect though, as much as simply idolization/wish fulfillment/jealously, etc?

Click to expand...

How popular are you? if you don't mind me asking?

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If you discovered I have no friends whatsoever, doesn't a part of you lose respect for me? You might think "why doesn't this guy have any friends. maybe he's a difficult person."

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I don't care about such things. But I am well liked among those who know me for a lot of things about me. I don't rank that the same as popularity.

And no, I wouldn't judge solely on that. I'd maybe wonder, but not judge. There's always a reason. If I see ******* behavior from you thereafter, then I'd put it together, but not based initially on assumption alone.

There is someone on the forum here who will agree with you. I however, disagree with you.

humourless said:

Enpatsu No Shakugan said:

Is popularity really the benchmark of respect though, as much as simply idolization/wish fulfillment/jealously, etc?

Click to expand...

How popular are you? if you don't mind me asking?

---

If you discovered I have no friends whatsoever, doesn't a part of you lose respect for me? You might think "why doesn't this guy have any friends. maybe he's a difficult person."

Click to expand...

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I think you might get a different responses if you asked this on a different kind of forum.  

I know this was directed to Enpatsu but your question caught my interest.  Myself, I wouldn't think that.  My opinion would be formed on your personality and how our interaction went.  Your social standing wouldn't matter.

Time will tell. You'll get to know me on here. My humour can be dark sarcastic and weird. that's a big turn off for many. To want to become popular on a forum called "A Lonely Life". Now that appeals to my sense of humour for instance. I like language and irony and absurdity.
Social Internet forums (even this one, Im not sure yet) are all about popularity, unfort. part of me is aware of that. But there is a huge stubborn streak in me which tries to stick to the loner route. being proud of not caring whether Im popular or not. Still Im human. And I certainly don't like to be totally ignored. That hurts the most. Maybe Im just a troll in disguise. But then some of the people called "trolls" are the most interesting of all. In my view. They want to liven things up a little. Stir up cliques on forums which have become too tired and fixed in their thinking.
Not sure I like the technology level of this forum. (Im moaning already). No like buttons for instance. Im spoiled. 

I don't think there really is much 'popularity' here anyway. I mean, I've seen some members that are obviously well-liked, so maybe that's the closest thing. Nothing wrong with veterans who've been around long enough to have gained a following.

But even that is a different kind of popularity that I think you're meaning.

By the way I lived in Japan for over 10 years. Hence my curiosity about your username enpatsu

humourless said:

By the way I lived in Japan for over 10 years. Hence my curiosity about your username enpatsu

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Oh, did you manage to translate it?

It's from a favorite anime of mine, which is my avatar; that girl is known as "Enpatsu Shakugan no uchite", which means roughly as the "Flame haired, burning eyed hunter" before being given the name Shana.

The name of the series is called Shakugan No Shana, or roughly "Burning Eyed Shana".

In the past few years, I’ve learned that status doesn’t really mean much, and yet it tends to mean the world to most people. It’s all based in a materialistic caste system. Really, a kind of slave system. The ones who are free, who are truly enviable, are the ones who don’t care at all, who go off in the world by themselves and live how they please, away from society and its constructed chaos.

I don't think someone has to have a large degree of popularity to deserve respect. I have much respect for a local elderly man because he's a gentleman and has a good heart. Nobody ever comes to see him. Nobody is more notorious than Donald Trump. He has a lot of folks that respect him, but also a lot of folks that hate his guts.

Reputation is everything if you want survive in this world. Look how important it was to michael jackson. his legacy is rubbish now.

There are many popular people I have absolutely no respect for. It doesn't really matter how many people you have around you, what matters is what you do and who you are. I think you are confusing respect with a sense of worship or a need to be with the "in" crowd or even just "accepted." That's not respect.

humourless said:

Reputation is everything if you want survive in this world. Look how important it was to michael jackson. his legacy is rubbish now.

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Micheal Jackson almost always had scandal in his life and he persisted just fine. His ruin came more from bad financial decisions.