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I want to make friends but I end up leaving them..
I am also a struggling loner. I have my own social awkwardness, because I am just so self conscious about myself and am constantly in fear of saying something wrong. I also have a hobbit of blanking out (loosing focus) while others are talking. So I always stay quiet in group settings.
But through trial and error, I found that caffeine helps. Black tea or coffee brings up my energy and make me more talkative. Coke works too, but some how it produces aggressive attitude out of me too, so I try to avoid Coke.
I suppose one should go see a doctor and get help(including medications) if suffering from personality disorder. To me, medical treatments are just so complicated here in the U.S., some things are covered by insurance, other things are not. Well, I can't afford the medical bills if not covered by insurance.
But at least now I know I should drink black tea before I go to meetings at work, or social gatherings.
^ Interesting discovery. Medications seem to have horrible side effects. Stick with the caffeine.
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