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From the Department of Complicating Simple Things
#1
Received:

Be it known by the recipient of this correspondence that you have just accepted and are currently reading an official notice of communication and following shortly actual said communication referred to in this notice of upcoming communication, therefore than signify by replying yes, you are aware of upcoming communication.  Or, reply no thereby giving notice that you received this notice but are not aware of it except that you acknowledge that by replying no you are answering something just not sure what.  Do not reply maybe unless you are actually unsure of anything, however understand that any acknowledgement be it yes, no or maybe will be considered legally responding which meets our requirements.

If you do not reply at all we will assume you haven't received this notice of coming communication and probably not the communication itself.  However, we reserve the right to believe you are just ignoring us you filthy pig!  You are an abomination!  A blight on an otherwise beautiful world.  We don't like you.  To immediately respond to this sender, hit reply.  To speak to my supervisor, hit supervisor.

Ahha, did you do that?  So you did receive this notice of upcoming communication!  We thought so.  By we I mean myself and my co-worker who shares this cubicle and if you hit supervisor it will explain why he is laughing he is no supervisor you fool and why would I help you find my real supervisor!?!?  You must think I'm nuts!

Still, despite all that you have had the opportunity to be notified that an upcoming communication will soon be communicated to you.  And whether you receive this notice or not doesn't really matter, I tried.  Either you have read this notice, or have not, or maybe you will read it later?  If you are reading this later than the point is the communication upcoming will be read later so does it really matter?  Reply now, in any affirmative or negative matter, and what, did you expect me to wait around?  The point is what follows is the actual communication and whatever, I don't really care anymore.

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April Fools!
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