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If your your an average guy, things suck, and theres nothing you can do
#61
Do unto others before they do unto you.
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#62
(04-23-2019, 12:51 AM)Naizo Wrote: I think you see those guys that should set off alarms and regular dudes alike have an easier time because they just arent thinking about it. Overthinking can lead to massive failure in almost every walk of life, especially relationships. The more you're worried about it, the bigger of an issue it becomes for you. They're not worried about it, so even if they go the same amount of time without being with someone, they just don't make it an issue so you don't hear about it from them. So it seems like they have no problem, because they don't make it a problem for themselves. It's kind've the same way where on facebook, you're only seeing what someone wants to post, typically the best parts of their life.

While I do think women set the president for dating however. Societally, men pursue and women accept or decline. Not every single case, but that does seem to be the basic flow most people live in. This whole thing where men "have a harder time getting someone than women" is a huge matter of skewed perspective. Are you asking out women you have absolutely no sexual interest in? Not likely. So why do men get mad when women who have no sexual interest in them decline their advances? Because it feels like you're failing more than they are even though you're not.

Men may get declined time after time, but there are a lot of women the proposal to enter a relationship never even comes their way.
It may feel worse for men because theyre in the mindset of it all lies on them and what they do whether or not they succeed but you seriously have to get to an understanding that just because you want something, no matter how desperately doesnt mean it will happen, no matter how hard you try. So chill, before the stress kills you. Its not all on you, or her, or him. Relationships just happen. Its not something you can recreate in a lab environment.

And yeah thats not great advice, because there isnt great advice. There is no miracule get six pack abs and a 12 foot dick / hourglass figure cure all for this issue. 

It eats away at us all.

It's not not so much anger at individuals but at the social dynamic that allows one group (or the majority of them) to sit back and take their pick while we have to wade in rejection and go through the inevitable existential ruminations if nothing comes of it. "What about the women who get no interest?" Yeah, I'd say there's very few have never been asked out, but the majority of  less conventionally attractive gals can go online and find someone genuine enough in a matter of days, so at the very least they get to feel wanted, even if none of the takers are appealing.

This wasn't my point though. Women reject men over weakness or the perception of it. That's the thing incels point out that's basically correct, even if the alpha/beta and obsession with "genetics" is laughable. I remember reading data showing that a wheelchair bound woman had a higher chance of having a partner than a man with clinical depression. That tells you a great deal. The man as initiator norm is as much about cutting out the weak  - the insecure, the shy, the socially inept etc.  - as it is about convenience. Men who can't take on that role simply aren't appealing. Admitting this reflects badly on them so they generally don't.

(Also *precedent)
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#63
On the other hand ………………...
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#64
(04-23-2019, 10:55 AM)humourless Wrote: Do unto others before they do unto you.

Austin 3:16
;-)

------------

Now that the smoke from all the name calling has died down somewhat...
I feel genuine sympathy for men feeling like that. I do believe its an error in perception to think only men suffer through those feelings, however.
I think everyone, even the most attractive people, feel this way on occasion, even if they don't admit it. I think its a basic part of human nature.
What's important, to me, isn't wether it's actually true or not, because it almost NEVER is (I see ugly guys with cute girls, and vice versa, every day). What is important, is how you deal with it and turn it into something positive, instead of a crutch to lean on.
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