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Basically this is just going to be me screaming so feel free to ignore. Just need to vent somewhere other than physically. 
I'm so full of anger. Angry at everyone, angry at all the people who have walked away, at the people who have walked past, at the people who pretend to care but when things get real they can't distance themselves quickly enough, at the people who say, 'no matter what I'll always be here' who are nowhere to be found, at the people who waited until I finally dropped my guard and let them in before walking away, at the people who I reach out to who use me until they no longer want support and then are done with me, at the people who think it's ok to add more scars to me. I'm angry at so many people for so many reasons. I don't want to carry this anger, i don't want to let these people have this effect on me. But if i don't then i turn that anger on myself and that is even worse. Maybe one day I'll learn how to let things go.

"I faced it all and I stood tall,
And did it my way."
I lived my life with the same anger, I went from foster home to foster home, was beat down every emotional (and physically quite often) because of my skin color and where I come from, and betrayed, more times than I can count. It’s okay to have that anger, it’s okay to feel it, but don’t let it define you. What should define you is how you rise above it.
We could be heroes, me and you...
Hey itsmylife, letting go is hard.
It sounds so easy when we're on the outside of the situation to just watch and say "let it go". But in the moment, your in the moment. It's always so frustrating when people just say "let it go" like it's so easy and natural to do.
For my part, when I'm fatigued and stressed things can spiral pretty quickly. Pretty normal I guess. When I focus on reducing the fatigue and stress it can be fine for a while, but when I fail and managing that stress I get to add that failure to the mix too. Not a good equation.
Which brings back to being on the outside looking in. As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that these outsiders looking in really do have it right and if I try to take the time to get my mind on the outside of the situation, things will settle.
Anyways, thanks for triggering this. I really relate to your post. God speed.


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