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Expressing a concern
#1
https://www.webmd.com/balance/news/20180...ealth-risk

If someone told you that you will never lose any weight, and if you do you will just gain it back, and if you start the weight loss/weight gain regimen that many people get themselves locked into it is actually worse than just maintaining a little extra weight while still exercising now and then?  Well, just by playing the odds than that certain someone will be right quite often.

Perhaps they could shorten the negativity to a simpler, "Losing weight is extremely difficult".  And they would be right.  Very annoying, but right.

Just as annoying for a person who is overweight, imo, are the someones who repeatedly (and by the time one adds them all up...let's just say eternally) tell you that you need to lose weight.  As if you had never heard that before!

Same goes for smoking.  Same goes for drinking.  Same goes for loneliness.

See, there is a pattern of radical sides to all these things.  On one side there is the **** it there is no hope.  On the other is the fix it folks who can't seem to understand that there are issues that cause these things...it isn't simple.

I get it, both sides are downright annoying.

But one side is actually dangerous.  Severe Loneliness is different than deliberate isolation.  Some people handle isolation quite well, and actually prefer it.  Now there are extremes to everything and too much can be too much.  As a severe agoraphobic myself, I can say that though I NEED contact with people...sometimes...I also can get too much of it rather quickly and send myself into a mood to hide out that is very difficult to get out of.  That's when I find myself doing things like eating oatmeal for three days as that is all I have left in the house, but I am incapable of a trip to the store.  

Moderation at the level one can handle.  That's the key.

And here is my concern.  I'm seeing posts in this forum where people are suggesting that lonely people just accept isolation and learn to enjoy it.  Hey, again, we are all different.  I have no problem if someone says, "I have grown to prefer isolation."  But I do have an issue with someone saying, "Everyone should isolate themselves."

To me, that is like saying, "It's too hard to quit smoking so don't try!  In fact, smoke more!"  Or, "Why not eat more!  Get fatter!  At least you will have the comfort of food before you drop dead!"

I wish I could write this better but maybe one last try.  When giving advice, first, do no harm.
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#2
There have been a lot of these threads popping up lately. I really don't understand them. All anyone can do is give advice. That advice is going to be based on a person's life experiences and beliefs. Everyone reacts to life and situations differently, so the advice given is going to be different depending on who the person is, what they have gone through and how they dealt with it all.

What I don't understand is how anyone can admonish another person for giving advice when that's all you are doing. Yes, don't be insulting or anything when giving advice, but not all advice to going to be the same and honestly, I think that's the best thing for anyone. Give them options. In the end, it's up to the person reading, the person deciding where their life is going to go and what path they want to go down that has the right to decide how they want to deal with something. It's not on you, it's not on me, it's not on the demons some of us are infested with. THEY will decide how they want to live regardless of what anyone tells them.
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#3
(04-18-2019, 02:32 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: There have been a lot of these threads popping up lately.  I really don't understand them.  All anyone can do is give advice.  That advice is going to be based on a person's life experiences and beliefs.  Everyone reacts to life and situations differently, so the advice given is going to be different depending on who the person is, what they have gone through and how they dealt with it all.  

What I don't understand is how anyone can admonish another person for giving advice when that's all you are doing.  Yes, don't be insulting or anything when giving advice, but not all advice to going to be the same and honestly, I think that's the best thing for anyone.  Give them options.  In the end, it's up to the person reading, the person deciding where their life is going to go and what path they want to go down that has the right to decide how they want to deal with something.  It's not on you, it's not on me, it's not on the demons some of us are infested with.  THEY will decide how they want to live regardless of what anyone tells them.

That's true Callie but I guess what I am getting at is:

Advising someone to smoke is a bad idea.
Advising someone to overeat is a bad idea.
Advising someone to be a drunk is a bad idea.
And advising someone who suffers from severe loneliness to live a life of isolation is a bad idea.

If you take a look at the link I provided, or have a look at many other studies of the same, that is exactly what psychologists say.  Choosing isolation is not a solution for loneliness.

And you know, we've already seen enough bad advice given over the internet...we don't need more...

...vaccinations cause birth defects

...holistic medicine is better than Doctors.

We just don't need it...some advice is good, some..well...can cause great harm.
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#4
Those examples you gave are a bit controversial, so I will just leave those alone because I'm not going there and this isn't the debate section.  

As for the rest of it.  Of course it will do them no good to sit in isolation...BUT, it is the easier thing to do, I think you and I both know that.  I'm not condoning that advice, by any means, because it only makes it worse. My point is that staying away from people is how some people cope with some of their issues and right or wrong, it's their opinion and as this is a public forum, they have just as much right to give that opinion, as you do to give yours. 
All you can do is have faith that the person reading all the information will do what they have to do to make their life better instead of easier.
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#5
(04-18-2019, 04:36 AM)TheRealCallie Wrote: Those examples you gave are a bit controversial, so I will just leave those alone because I'm not going there and this isn't the debate section.  

As for the rest of it.  Of course it will do them no good to sit in isolation...BUT, it is the easier thing to do, I think you and I both know that.  I'm not condoning that advice, by any means, because it only makes it worse. My point is that staying away from people is how some people cope with some of their issues and right or wrong, it's their opinion and as this is a public forum, they have just as much right to give that opinion, as you do to give yours. 
All you can do is have faith that the person reading all the information will do what they have to do to make their life better instead of easier.

Thank you Callie for your comments, and you are right, this isn't the debate section.

But one thing I am becoming concerned with, and which is what I've expressed in this thread, is that very bad advice is harmful.  If this group believes all advice is equal, it isn't the place for me to want to hang out.  

And frankly, none of those examples I gave are controversial....they are facts.  The only people who would disagree are poorly educated, ill-informed, conspiracy theorist, crack pots who do more harm than good.

For anyone, that is not what this forum supports, is it?
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#6
I never said all advice is equal.  It's not, but any public forum you go on will have people giving advice and opinions that very much go against what your believe. A public forum allows people to voice their opinions as long as it doesn't break forum rules. 
I don't agree with some of the advice given here, which I think is pretty obvious. Some people think MY advice is harmful, because I don't coddle people.  

As for the controversial topics, I guess I (and the government) are "poorly educated, ill-informed, conspiracy theorist, crack pots who do more harm than good." 
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#7
That is probably a good place to end our discussion.

I don't even want to know what you found controversial of the subjects I brought up or what you consider to be our "government", although I suspect it is one person in particular and no.....even though he seems to think so as well, he is NOT singularly our government, nor a Doctor, nor a scientist...

And dropping tons of water from the air was NOT the way to try to extinguish the Notre Dame fire.......he is obviously not a fireman either.  (Remember rake the forest?)



 
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#8
You should try googling it. Not really hard to find well documented studies.
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