Women initiating sex

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TheSkaFish said:
I also feel like it's possible to believe both that evolution and feminism don't mix, and at the same time thinking women can go for whatever jobs they want, have their own money, freedom, etc.  I'm not necessarily for a return to the old days.  I'm just for a little more honesty...

People  can't seem to see any distinction between pointing something out and endorsing it, or they can't see nuance, so the suggestion that there's a biological influence going on with some aspects of behaviour means you're a biological essentialist/fascist/whatever.  It's ridiculous. Unfortunately I think  the kind of men who would prefer women to initiate - the insecure or those overly concerned about crossing boundaries - are probably the kind they'd be less inclined to do that with.
 
ardour said:
People  can't seem to see any distinction between pointing something out and endorsing it, or they can't see nuance, so the suggestion that there's a biological influence going on with some aspects of behaviour means you're a biological essentialist/fascist/whatever.  It's ridiculous. Unfortunately I think  the kind of men who would prefer women to initiate - the insecure or those overly concerned about crossing boundaries - are probably the kind they'd be less inclined to do that with.

Pretty much. Certain people and types of people either can't see nuances, or don't want to. They prioritize their narrative over the truth, but it's pretty easy to see through when things tend to go the same way for certain kinds of people over and over again.

Totally agree with this post. +1
 
ardour said:
Unfortunately I think  the kind of men who would prefer women to initiate - the insecure or those overly concerned about crossing boundaries - are probably the kind they'd be less inclined to do that with.

Yeah, it's like a Jr High dance, where the guys on the sidelines are waiting to be approached by the girls they're conspicuously ignoring.  Some guys never get past that stage.
 
In my limited experience it's probably majority myself (two ladies before the anchor was thrown overboard) that initiated but I was always looking for it ,any opportunity I was in like Flint as it were , so limits opportunities for females in my life to take the lead/or they just didn't desire me enough who knows .I've just googled that saying and am now aware it's a bit dodgy but just leaving it there ..I'll take the risk☺️

Reminds me of the time way back when 20 years back I think...... it was suddenly all the rage for women to ask men out ,not sure if that's still the way...I don't get out enough lol.
 
I have to initiate it all the time. I want to do it 3x a day while my husband wants to do it 2x a week. This is so frustrating!
 
Cosmicsleeper said:

Oh no... Not the dots... NOT THE DOTS!


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As someone who's been married for 20+ years, I suppose I should add my bit.

Yes, I've tried to initiate things (mostly because he complained that I never did although I'm sure I did). Every time (and I mean EVERY time) I did - he never wanted to. More than that, he would get angry with me for trying.

In the end, I stopped. He hasn't mentioned it since. I think even he realised it wasn't working.
 
Barbie25 said:
I have to initiate it all the time. I want to do it 3x a day while my husband wants to do it 2x a week. This is so frustrating!

I was going to say women are a bit lazy when it comes to initiating but after seeing the above......I dunno .....I'm still thinking this could be true.
 
Just Games said:
Barbie25 said:
I have to initiate it all the time. I want to do it 3x a day while my husband wants to do it 2x a week. This is so frustrating!

I was going to say women are a bit lazy when it comes to initiating but after seeing the above......I dunno .....I'm still thinking this could be true.

The thing with this is that there are some mechanical issues with men that women just don't have. If the equipment isn't willing, it doesn't matter what you do - it isn't going to happen. That can lead to problems if, when the woman's initiated and the man's body hasn't co-operated - he ends up taking his frustration out on her (I'm not talking abuse - just being angry with someone). That can lead to the woman being afraid to initiate things in case it happens again.

Sometimes it's not being lazy. Sometimes it's being afraid.
 
I\ said:
Just Games said:
Barbie25 said:
I have to initiate it all the time. I want to do it 3x a day while my husband wants to do it 2x a week. This is so frustrating!

I was going to say women are a bit lazy when it comes to initiating but after seeing the above......I dunno .....I'm still thinking this could be true.

The thing with this is that there are some mechanical issues with men that women just don't have. If the equipment isn't willing, it doesn't matter what you do - it isn't going to happen. That can lead to problems if, when the woman's initiated and the man's body hasn't co-operated - he ends up taking his frustration out on her (I'm not talking abuse - just being angry with someone). That can lead to the woman being afraid to initiate things in case it happens again.

Sometimes it's not being lazy. Sometimes it's being afraid.

Yeah apologize was just being mischievous it was an idiotic thing to say with my limited experience won't do it again.
 
No, it's fine. Nothing wrong with asking questions. Didn't mean to make you feel like you couldn't express yourself. Just trying to answer as best as I could. Sorry.
 
I think the part of some women being lazy is true. As far as my experience go, women don't necessarily need to put a lot or effort into attracting a man. They tend to come running nontheless and therefor finding a partner to mate with is pretty easy. I found myself thinking several times that why not make the guy work for it. Lol. However, initiating sex is important cause its signaling that you see your mate as attractive and everyone wants to be wanted. Think a lot of women could use a kick in the butt to be more active about it.
It tends to be more fun when women initiates aswell.
 
Unequal sex drives in a relationship will usually lead to complications regardless of the organs of the involved individuals. I don't know about fear of the other or failure to perform, but simply not wanting to do it is also a valid reason to decline an offer to me. Even if the body responds, the mind could be elsewhere and wants to stay there instead.

Regarding technicalities, I always thought women have their own problems in terms of being ready. Unless these are purely emotional in nature and it just ends up working out physically every time as long as the man does his job. Even if the result isn't as mutually enjoyable as intended.
 
Regardless of the relative level of desire, I'd say a lot of women consider having to initiate demeaning. The 'role reversal' probably makes them feel less desirable.
 
TheRealCallie said:
ardour said:
I'd say a lot  of women consider having to initiate demeaning. The 'role reversal' probably makes them feel less desirable.

That is complete and utter bullshit.

Or it's right on target. I had an ex-girlfriend that needed me to know when she wanted it. Then I was supposed to initiate because I was the "man." She believed she should always be pursued and conquered. But, it sure didn't work out if I wanted it and she didn't. If I continued moving forward then I was being too aggressive and would receive lazy sex.
 
Quietude said:
So a question to the women on here.

Have you ever been the initiator of sex with a man?

(started the touching, kissing, undressing and such)

All of the time in my case. He’s usually the one who is “too tired” or whatever else.
 
MissBehave said:
I think the part of some women being lazy is true. As far as my experience go, women don't necessarily need to put a lot or effort into attracting a man. They tend to come running nontheless and therefor finding a partner to mate with is pretty easy. I found myself thinking several times that why not make the guy work for it. Lol. However, initiating sex is important cause its signaling that you see your mate as attractive and everyone wants to be wanted. Think a lot of women could use a kick in the butt to be more active about it.
It tends to be more fun when women initiates aswell.

^ Once again, I appreciate and respect your honesty.  It's very refreshing, when so many these days only care about projecting and maintaining a righteous image and ego, instead of about what's actually true.  

I mean, I know that at the end of the day, it is what it is, and there isn't much we can do about it except choose to play or not. But it's hard enough to play the game of life, even without all the lies and misinformation and all sorts of unwritten, unspoken rules that you're expected to just know, and if you don't, nobody cares.

+1
 

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