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Married life. Parts are great. Other parts are endlessly lonely. ARGH!
#1
I watched the Post Secret show (Google it if you need). It reminded that there's no need to be feel alone. Let me be clear. By all outward appearance, I've got a great life, and I really do. My wife is a terrific person who I love very much. We line up well in most areas and the areas we don't have been shoved into a deep dark closet and removed from day to day living. I recognize that she gives all she can. For what she can give, I am very grateful. For what she can't give, I am lonely, and at times, lost.  I've got three adult kids who have turned out to be really fantastic individuals. I have a job where I'm respected and that pays well even though I cannot stand where I work. I drive a nice car, have plenty of food, dogs that love me, a warm home, and no real on-going drama with anyone except my aging mother. Nice and safe and boring and lonely.

A lot of what I do, and what I think, and what I feel, I cannot share with anyone today. As much as my life would be easier if I just suppressed it and lived the life society wants me to live, it would not be me. Honestly, I tried that. It didn't work.

Robin Williams is quoted for saying a lot of things. Two things he said stick with me:

"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."

"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that."

Ok. So, what's the point here? I don't have one. I'm just throwing this out to the universe. If anything here resonates with you, and you'd like to try a new friend, write back. If not, I wish you well and hope you find whatever your soul is looking for.
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#2
Beautiful thoughts of life…

Indeed, “roads were made for journeys, not destinations” - Confucius
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#3
(05-04-2019, 10:20 AM)Quietsoulseeker Wrote: I watched the Post Secret show (Google it if you need). It reminded that there's no need to be feel alone. Let me be clear. By all outward appearance, I've got a great life, and I really do. My wife is a terrific person who I love very much. We line up well in most areas and the areas we don't have been shoved into a deep dark closet and removed from day to day living. I recognize that she gives all she can. For what she can give, I am very grateful. For what she can't give, I am lonely, and at times, lost.  I've got three adult kids who have turned out to be really fantastic individuals. I have a job where I'm respected and that pays well even though I cannot stand where I work. I drive a nice car, have plenty of food, dogs that love me, a warm home, and no real on-going drama with anyone except my aging mother. Nice and safe and boring and lonely.

A lot of what I do, and what I think, and what I feel, I cannot share with anyone today. As much as my life would be easier if I just suppressed it and lived the life society wants me to live, it would not be me. Honestly, I tried that. It didn't work.

Robin Williams is quoted for saying a lot of things. Two things he said stick with me:

"I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone."

"I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it's like to feel absolutely worthless and they don't want anyone else to feel like that."

Ok. So, what's the point here? I don't have one. I'm just throwing this out to the universe. If anything here resonates with you, and you'd like to try a new friend, write back. If not, I wish you well and hope you find whatever your soul is looking for.

Ahhh..I didn't want to answer this. I didn't want to seem like the desperate housewife...but ..here I am.
I read in a book that you get to choose 4 or 5 traits in a person you share your life with, and if you are lucky maybe 6. Riches..beauty..intelligence..good background..success..whatever you choose you know you cannot live without, and sacrifice what you actually can live without.

But what if you found this out after marriage?
What if by all standards you live a good life and are actually very thankful to God about it, but feel so lonely every single day?
What do you do?
I guess you come here, write some, read some, feel comfort in knowing some people actually feel the same way you do, read on and maybe feel a bit less lonely for a few hours.
The problem with me and you @Quietsoulseeker is that our lives are too good that complaining will only make us feel guilty. Me at least.


Ah well..these are my thoughts.
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#4
This is perhaps loosely related to this post. I have a theory that some people can only really be happy and not feel lonely if they are doing something creative and also learning something, in a way that makes you feel like you belong to something more than yourself.

A lot of people fall in to the trap thinking that other people alone, such as having a partner, will wash away any loneliness a person might feel, but it is entirely evident based on the overwhelming evidence of people feeling lonely who are in relationships, perhaps married, or even with a large circle of friends, that this isn't the case.

I think a lot of people never realise this. That to not actually feel alone, sometimes a person needs to involve themselves in the world. They are required to appeases those creative juices, or the desire to learn and have some kind of progression in something. Some subject or thing in which makes you feel like you are involved with, with many other people out there. Then they won't feel so lonely or depressed. (not including biological reasons ofc, just mainly psychological)
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#5
(05-12-2019, 04:50 AM)Quietude Wrote: This is perhaps loosely related to this post. I have a theory that some people can only really be happy and not feel lonely if they are doing something creative and also learning something, in a way that makes you feel like you belong to something more than yourself.

A lot of people fall in to the trap thinking that other people alone, such as having a partner, will wash away any loneliness a person might feel, but it is entirely evident based on the overwhelming evidence of people feeling lonely who are in relationships, perhaps married, or even with a large circle of friends, that this isn't the case.

I think a lot of people never realise this. That to not actually feel alone, sometimes a person needs to involve themselves in the world. They are required to appeases those creative juices, or the desire to learn and have some kind of progression in something. Some subject or thing in which makes you feel like you are involved with, with many other people out there. Then they won't feel so lonely or depressed. (not including biological reasons ofc, just mainly psychological)



I think you are right. Maybe we wish our partner to fulfill every aspect of our needs which is not possible of course for any human to do, no matter how perfect they are.
And maybe that partner feels the same way (us being imperfect too).
But it is still very hard to feel lonely when you ate married.
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