Hiring a girlfriend

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ITellYouHhwut

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I’m a 28 y/o guy who’s never had a girlfriend and can’t get one. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this before, but I’ve recently come up with the idea of just “hiring” a girlfriend. Not like paying for a hooker or anything. I would be essentially hiring a girl to serve the role of being my girlfriend. I would pay her an hourly or perhaps weekly wage that we negotiate. I think it would be a freaking kickass plan, and I swear I’m not trolling. This year I’m growing several acres of CBD hemp, and I’ve already got a buyer for my crop. My crop is worth a fortune. I will most certainly have the money by the end of the year to do something like this. I would probably pay her a certain wage just to be my gf, and to be faithful to me, then maybe a very generous sex bonus on top of that. I’m totally into this plan. What do y’all think?
 
The arrangement has worked in some cultures....the lady is referred to as a concubine. If you find a willing lady whom you like and you both agree to the terms of the arrangement and the whole thing actually works.....go for it.
But be respectful to her and pay her a regular salary. Be generous.
 
I'm not sure what you would get out of it emotionally. She...would probably despise you. Also I don't understand how this wouldn't end up being extremely embarassing when you have to explain who she is in front of friends and family.
 
ITellYouHhwut said:
I’m a 28 y/o guy who’s never had a girlfriend and can’t get one. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this before, but I’ve recently come up with the idea of just “hiring” a girlfriend. Not like paying for a hooker or anything. I would be essentially hiring a girl to serve the role of being my girlfriend. I would pay her an hourly or perhaps weekly wage that we negotiate. I think it would be a freaking kickass plan, and I swear I’m not trolling. This year I’m growing several acres of CBD hemp, and I’ve already got a buyer for my crop. My crop is worth a fortune. I will most certainly have the money by the end of the year to do something like this. I would probably pay her a certain wage just to be my gf, and to be faithful to me, then maybe a very generous sex bonus on top of that. I’m totally into this plan. What do y’all think?

Do you happen to live in Colorado where they just decriminalized psilocybin? If so, I'll be your girlfriend for free.

Kidding. Sort of.
 
It's one of those ideas that loses its appeal the second you get into the details and all the cascading consequences. Given that, I don't think it's a viable solution but not because there are no women that would take such an offer (who also not consider the ramifications). Good luck working out an equitable arrangement.
 
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[font=Arial, sans-serif] True love grows a relationship; fake love makes it sick and toxic.[/font]
[font=Arial, sans-serif] True love is loyal; fake love is a cheater.[/font]
[font=Arial, sans-serif] True love is generous and compassionate; fake love is heartless.[/font]
[font=Arial, sans-serif] Truth is our treasure[/font]
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What do you want a girlfriend for?



If it's purely for sex then of course you don't actually need a girlfriend.

If it's for love and companionship well you most certainly are not going to find that in a hired girlfriend.

If it's for loneliness, this certainly won't help either, there are tons of people who are in relationships and are very lonely.



Your plan seems to be pretty rubbish really. It provides you with nothing of substance, only a drain on your funds.
 
I’m okay with the “illusion” of love. I would probably work out a deal where basically I pay the woman to “pretend” to be into me. I honestly don’t care if she really is or not. It’d be the closest thing I could get to the real thing. I think if the details were worked out properly, and if the woman I hire is properly vetted, it could be a very successful arrangement. I think it would solve the problems I have.

The trouble now is; where to search/advertise?
 
To experience anything like the real thing you would have to fool your mind into believing something's real when it obviously isn't.
 
ardour said:
To experience anything like the real thing you would have to fool your mind into believing something's real when it  obviously isn't.

I’ve never felt the real thing, so that in itself will make it so it will be much easier to make myself believe I’m experiencing something close to “real”. Besides, I don’t really have a problem with the girl not really loving me, as long as I can have a girl by my side, I’m okay with it not being real. I’m perfectly fine knowing its not real, as long as there’s a female i’m interacting with in my daily live.
 
ITellYouHhwut said:
I’m okay with the “illusion” of love. I would probably work out a deal where basically I pay the woman to “pretend” to be into me. I honestly don’t care if she really is or not. It’d be the closest thing I could get to the real thing. I think if the details were worked out properly, and if the woman I hire is properly vetted, it could be a very successful arrangement. I think it would solve the problems I have.

The trouble now is; where to search/advertise?

Is there still a print newspaper published where you live?  Put a notice in the employment section of the classified ads.  "Concubine wanted, terms negotiable".  It might work.
 
constant stranger said:
Is there still a print newspaper published where you live?  Put a notice in the employment section of the classified ads.  "Concubine wanted, terms negotiable".  It might work.

Nah, I’ll probably have to expand the area I look. Not much selection where I live.
 
In my opinion, you can't stick to a job you don't like for too long, even if it is only to gain more experience. There's this theory that after you have your first girlfriend, we'll be more experienced and the odds for future relationships are better. I actually tried to do something like that with a colleague but we never agreed on the terms. And of course, illusion is great, until the other person gets tired of playing the illusion.

I don't know if you just want to say "I've got a girlfriend" or you want relationship experience to use when the time for something real comes. But let me tell you, if you want experience, just go out and meet people. Watch other people dealing with their relationships. Watching is extremely important. You'll gain as much experience as with living with a payed girlfriend.
 
ITellYouHhwut said:
I’m a 28 y/o guy who’s never had a girlfriend and can’t get one. I can’t believe I’ve never thought of this before, but I’ve recently come up with the idea of just “hiring” a girlfriend. Not like paying for a hooker or anything. I would be essentially hiring a girl to serve the role of being my girlfriend. I would pay her an hourly or perhaps weekly wage that we negotiate. I think it would be a freaking kickass plan, and I swear I’m not trolling. This year I’m growing several acres of CBD hemp, and I’ve already got a buyer for my crop. My crop is worth a fortune. I will most certainly have the money by the end of the year to do something like this. I would probably pay her a certain wage just to be my gf, and to be faithful to me, then maybe a very generous sex bonus on top of that. I’m totally into this plan. What do y’all think?

So what do you want? A fake girlfriend or sex?  Both are empty without reciprocating feelings.   Having a plan to make a bunch of money so that it snags you the girl for a long time.....is still pretty hollow.

I couldn't live with that
 
It’s a valid idea, but admittedly probably tough to put off in the real world.

It’s tough to see past my own emotions when trying to identify my true problems with attracting women, and all the other stuff related to it. People tell you to stop whining, man up, and “improve yourself”, but I don’t think they take the time to recognize the difficulties guys like me face that just get stacked up over the years. It breaks you down. It takes its toll. Trust me when I say I honestly don’t want to whine or be a loser. I truly wish I could have confidence and believe in myself, but I have to say that there honestly isn’t a drop of confidence in me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a single word of encouragement or validation in my life. I try to fish for it sometimes, but it never comes. I have no basis whatsoever for any sort of confidence. I really just don’t know what to do. It just all seems doomed.
 
ITellYouHhwut said:
It’s a valid idea, but admittedly probably tough to put off in the real world.

It’s tough to see past my own emotions when trying to identify my true problems with attracting women, and all the other stuff related to it. People tell you to stop whining, man up, and “improve yourself”, but I don’t think they take the time to recognize the difficulties guys like me face that just get stacked up over the years. It breaks you down. It takes its toll. Trust me when I say I honestly don’t want to whine or be a loser. I truly wish I could have confidence and believe in myself, but I have to say that there honestly isn’t a drop of confidence in me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a single word of encouragement or validation in my life. I try to fish for it sometimes, but it never comes. I have no basis whatsoever for any sort of confidence. I really just don’t know what to do. It just all seems doomed.

There are certainly other people out there who also have problems when it comes to this subject. I also never ever got any encouragement or validation from family or peers for anything in my life. Anything that I have done that someone commented positively on, seemed insincere to me also. "Improve yourself" is right though, but it's obviously just not that simple in the slightest. It can take years depending on how deep down the mental rabbit hole you are.

I'm trying to fix myself and have many many different problems that have built up over the span of about a decade. I'm still fixing myself and almost there, I think maybe 2-3 years i'll be properly stable. So far it has taken about 5-6 years fixing myself.

Really have a sit down and think what are those things about yourself that you legitimately are better than most at. You don't have to be some prodigy at anything, just some of the things that make you, that you are definitely better at than the average Joe. Then exaggerate the ***k out of those positives and use them as a bit of a boost to fix the negatives. Be your own man and ignore other people too, we only live once so may as well just try and go for it, try and get the things that you want out of life.
 
The way I would describe how I feel is; I feel like a “freak” (for lack of a better word). I feel like when people look at me, they’re thinking “eww, that’s disgusting”, and that’s not entirely because of my looks, but just myself in general. The “whole-person evaluation” of me just isn’t something people in general find attractive. I’ve never felt comfortable in my own skin. I’ve never felt entitled to the same things in life that everyone else is, and like I said before, having never been positively validated or encouraged by anyone even after sometimes trying to fish for it makes it surely seem as though my inferiority status is confrimed. This is why when I try to tell people that I feel ostracized by people, it always irritates me when they ask things like “what did they say/do to you?” Sometimes its not what people say or do to you, it’s what they DON’T say or do. I understand completely that much of the work in improving my situation starts with me changing myself, but I feel like I’ve done a great deal of that as it is. If what I’ve done isn’t enough, then I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do.

I’m not like most people. I don’t think you should keep going and keep trying until hell freezes over to fix your life and improve yourself. I think you should give it a true effort of course, if only just to see if there’s a chance you will succeed, and if life doesn’t work out, end it. I firmly believe this. I think the problem we have now with modern society is the fact that we don’t allow enough dying to occur. We now live under this mantra that “all life is precious”. Such a nonsensical way to look at things. Natural selection isn’t picking off the weak and undesirable anymore because we’ve created a modern society that shelters people from the wrath of nature, hence why so many undesirables like myself are out there today. We get kept alive these days, whereas in the primal days we would have died, leaving only the strong, smart, and capable so it is up to us to honestly self-evaluate and do nature’s work for it. That doesn’t have to mean suicide, it could just mean refraining from having children, but for me, I’m looking at both options.
 
There's something about the finality of your self judgment that seems a bit self defeating. It's a tone I'm hearing from you that sounds like "different" is automatically "wrong". And you seem to be validating that judgment yourself in such a way that having decided beforehand that you're a freak, any reaction people have from meeting with you confirms to you your freakishness. I'm seeing a self reinforcing feedback loop here.

Your comments about never feeling comfortable in your own skin and never feeling entitled to the same things in life that everybody else is....those sentiments speak volumes about how you buy into the different is wrong mindset.

I sense that rather than keeping going and trying for other peoples' acceptance, the way to go is valuing yourself as worthy. Easier said than done, I know. But labeling yourself as "undesirable" in your own head has got to show up in your social presentation to the rest of the world. I draw your attention to a different scenario: You actually believe you're "OK" and your demeanor in society reflects that confidence....hence you yourself have initiated a momentum in a positive direction.
In contrast to believing you're an undesirable freak and initiating a negative, self-fulfilling type direction.
 
constant stranger said:
I draw your attention to a different scenario:  You actually believe you're "OK" and your demeanor in society reflects that confidence....hence you yourself have initiated a momentum in a positive direction.
In contrast to believing you're an undesirable freak and initiating a negative, self-fulfilling type direction.

I’ve tried this ad nauseam. I have! It has never mattered one bit. It drives me up the wall that people always insist that the problem is always my attitude or my perception. It can never be that I actually am the freak I purport to be.
 

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