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Hiring a girlfriend
(05-20-2019, 08:10 AM)EmilyFoxSeaton Wrote: I just want to go to the boyfriend store and pick one out like a tv.

If there was a boyfriend store, I might just put myself on consignment.
(05-20-2019, 03:47 PM)ITellYouHhwut Wrote:
(05-20-2019, 08:10 AM)EmilyFoxSeaton Wrote: I just want to go to the boyfriend store and pick one out like a tv.

If there was a boyfriend store, I might just put myself on consignment.

Ha!  ha!  ha!  I'd be standing in line to submit my application.....
Nothing exists entirely alone.  Everything is always in relation to everything else.

Hmmm I do not think this would solve any of your problems. I mean it would just create more problems. What would you really get out of this??? The fact that your can tell people that you have a girlfriend??? That could hinder a real relationship with someone else you meet while in the arrangement. Looking further down the road it may deeply hurt your finances. Which in case if that happens, The hired girlfriend will leave you because you can not hold up your end of the deal and then BOOM!!! you are now lacking in two main areas of life. Financial and Relationships. You claim that you feel this is your only shot and although I can not change how you feel, I can tell you the truth and that truth is You ALWAYS have a shot. So instead of creating a problem in the future, recognize that you are capable of finding a girlfriend, You just have to put yourself out there one step at a time, and more importantly keep working on yourself during the journey. I fell in love on accident, yet I was hopeless for a long time but I decided to not complain about it anymore and focus on myself and it just happened. This is just my two cents on the situation at least you do you and I wish you the best. Also I love your username lol
"I don’t think I’ve ever heard a single word of encouragement or validation in my life. I try to fish for it sometimes, but it never comes. I have no basis whatsoever for any sort of confidence. I really just don’t know what to do. It just all seems doomed."

It sounds like you need a best friend, not a girlfriend. Take it from me: last year I had a romance, because by coincidence I bumped into someone who thought I was very attractive. That romance didn't last and I regret ever going along with it. All the emotions I felt were a complete waste of time because I will likely never see that person again. But now I have a BFFL (met this person about 2 months ago) and it's pretty great. We accept each other's flaws, understand each other's mental health issues, and give encouragement and validation to each other constantly. Please don't go searching for a romance if you have never done a romance before and you have no confidence in yourself. When your girlfriend leaves you for someone who does have confidence, you'll feel even worse than you do now. Don't you know a bunch of people from your work? Surely people gave you support and encouragement as you made a name for yourself in the cannabis industry? Think about it. Maybe someone you already know could begin to give you support and encouragement in your personal life as well as in your business.

I can't find the quote right now but you also said you've done a lot of self-improvement work and could write a book.
People love self-help books, writing will take your mind off your loneliness, you can self-publish online, who knows, you might get fan mail. I would be self-publishing too if I didn't have a condition that scrambles my thoughts and stops me from writing anything longer than a paragraph. Very frustrating; especially because I love to write.
I went to a get-together this past Sunday night at my friend’s house. It was probably about 8-10 people, mostly folks from my friend’s church. We had dinner and sat around the fire pit drinking some whiskey. Well, there were two conversations going on at the same time. One of them was about one of the guests and the divorce he is going through. I was not involved in that conversation. I was conversing with my friend and a couple of the other guests about flying and aviation. Well, when our conversation ended, the other folks asked me what I thought about the topic they were discussing, which was about relationships. I knew these people reasonably well, especially my friend’s wife, and they were mostly aware of my issues attracting women etc. I responded by shrugging my shoulders and going “mmm mmmm.....” (as in “I don’t know”). Anyway, long story short, the conversation, without my influence, swiftly turned into a session addressing my issues. I’m not sure if my friend and his wife have talked about me to these friends of their or what, but they all seemed to know that I had issues regarding women. Well, my friend’s wife made the statement that most of the time she’s around me, she notices that I always say self-defeating, self-deprecating things, and she thinks that this is part of my problem.

Okay well, be that as it may, I still don’t believe this is the root of my problem, because believe me, I know for a fact I don’t do that all the time. I believe the self-deprecation is redundant. By that I mean, it is not needed in order for me to be deemed undesirable by women. It is merely a booster at best. I still firmly believe that the primary driving force in human mating and natural hierarchies is evolution and genetics. People dismiss this and call it “incel talk”, but there is a whole branch of science called biology that completely explains and supports all of this. You can go get a phd in this subject. It is not just some defeatist talk, it is confirmed reality.
^The fact that you have friends - or friends of friends in this case, willing to discuss your personal life with you, including a woman is prepared to even discuss such things is major factor in your favour.

If you start spouting fatalistic evo-psych ideas you do here in front of people, then it's likely to be a major turn-off, that should be obvious. It exudes low self-esteem and can come across as an attempt to gain sympathy. Sometimes you just have to put up a front and see where it gets you...
There's an old Quebec expression in french that sums up what I think. Loosely translated, better to be alone than badly accompanied.
I don't see the benefit in creating a false event. It won't end up being overly memorable.

(05-20-2019, 03:47 PM)ITellYouHhwut Wrote:
(05-20-2019, 08:10 AM)EmilyFoxSeaton Wrote: I just want to go to the boyfriend store and pick one out like a tv.

If there was a boyfriend store, I might just put myself on consignment.

I'd rather pick a tv. There's no mute button on a bf or gf ;-)
Just for fun, I’d like to share my results from a personality test that I took today that was recommended by my friend. I’m not one to put much mind into these types of things, but according to this test, my personality type is INTP-T, or “Logician”. Actually kind of surprising how accurate some of it’s descriptions of me were. It said I’m the type that will drift into such deep thought that I will become detached and sometimes even become oblivious to the world around me. While that last part does not really describe me, it is true that I often daydream and ponder thoughts/ideas. In fact, one thing about me is that I often prefer sitting around thinking/dreaming about doing something than actually doing it. But the test results imply that I’m some kind of science-minded abstract thinker, which isn’t the case. 99.99% puckey if you ask me.

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