Hey Sky. First off do not get too offended or put off by the members on some forums. Some lack a mutual respect for anyone's feelings. I was on a car forum and asking questions and giving opinions. If you state one little item that some do not agree with or it may sound trivial they will flame you to cinders. Or you feel pegged and snubbed with no response. I would not put too much stock in feedback from some forums. This forum is a pretty good place as many relate to your feelings and fears. Just that many will read others posts and never reply or offer advise. But I understand that they are going through a very bad era in their lives and and are emotionally exhausted.
You seem alone and very isolated. This is not good. No matter how you will rationalize this situation it will have to change. Isolation is the mother of insanity. We need people around us to reel us in if our ideas or thought get a little......well....abnormal. I too have started to get in contact with others. I do know it is hard, but try to find someone to talk to and share thoughts. Do not unload and vent or give a lonely life story at first, people I found do not want to deal with that.
You feel alienated and disconnected from family, co-workers, society. I have learned this......that people do care if we feel a little down and lonely. But only to a degree. After awhile if they see that a real solid effort is not being made by us to communicate, socialize, just get out and try then they start to fade away and live their lives. Only when the sickening boring feeling of loneliness is worse than the little sting of rejection or funny looks will most of us make the move and reach out. But it must come from us. Do not hope and wait for a knock on the door and fun filled group to grab us for a beach party. Trust me, it never comes. So Try. Not for me, not for anyone, try for yourself to get back. The world needs you!!!!!
Falco