Ugh Relationships

I don't even know where to start with this topic. I've had my fair share of good relationships and bad. Ones I regret walking away from and ones im lucky to have walked away from. Ever been in an abusive relationship? If you have and no longer are, youre a soldier. That crap is hard and nobody understands why you stayed for so long. the last 4 years of the relationship world has not been very good to me the last couple years. My Husband left me when my daughter was 7 months old. I was terrified to be a single mother. I was devastated that I was alone i was 23 years old taking care of a my first child. I fell into a really deep depression, I went through a really tough 6months until I finally decided to find myself. IN that 6 months I waited for my husband to come back, I begged him, I didn't talk to anyone because i wasnt ready he left me in a daze. I loved him more than words. I wouldve given my life. We fought alot after the baby was born. I has ppd on top of all my other mental crazy stuff. I have manic bi-polar, Depression, Anxiety, and bpd. And for people who doesnt know what bpd is its border line personality disorder. It comes from alot of trauma and stuff in your life.  Trying to juggle a relationship with all of that is really hard. It wore on our marriage and it just fell apart. I tried getting him to understand and  work with me and he seen it as I didn't want him anymore because i was distant. I wish he would've just listened and worked with me. But, things happen. ANYWAYS, i finally tried dating and the first guy i started dating was cheating on me with his baby mom. And it just spiraled after that. Then my husband decided he wanted me back and i believed him. Wrong choice. It was terrible he became violent with me and it wasnt a very good situation for my child nor I. So he ended up leaving again and just in those 4months he was back he killed me all over again. I stayed out of relationships for about 2years until I got with my fiance. Here him and I are about a year later and there is so much going on. Sometimes I feel like im alone i don't know whether its my head or if he really is just not stepping up like I want him to. Im trying so hard to deal but the stress of everything going on is really getting to me. We ended up losing our apartment and were living with my mother. Him and I are at each others throat constantly, mainly because he wasn't even trying to really work for the longest time no matter how much i tried to push him. I was working for the 2 of us and I could only do so much myself. Im hoping that it will get better but im wondering if it ever will. Will he ever step up? or am i stuck in a never ending cycle? Im just lost and I dont know whether im coming or going. My Ex husband is in jail, my daughters acting out on top of everything. Oh and im pregnant. So my emotions are all haywire. I dont know what to do anymore.