How can we turn our negatives into positives?

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humourless

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Im in this too of course.
Our negatives might be:

stuck in a low paid dead end job
harassment at work
alone, single no partner
feeling lost and confused
fear of the future
bad relationship/s 
self loathing
hating others
hating life
and so on

I don't have any ready made answers …. let's try and help each other here
 
Ok Im going to have a go at one.
"fear of the future".
seems like getting back into meditation might address this one. Now I imagine this sounds quite trite or shallow to those of you borderline homeless and hungry. Meditation only for the middle class first world idealists?
But nevertheless, it might be the solution for me. Present moment is the goal. easier said than done. of course the past is also a bugbear for me. Im rarely in the present moment. Present moment and social media are almost opposites. Christians might call our phones false gods. But Im not going to blame technology. Im responsible for my sins.
thats' my theme for this week anyway. present moment.
 
I like this thread! ❤️ Let's seeeee. 🤔
I'm doing bad relationships.
Building self worth is a very important thing to do. Feeling good about yourself and that you are able to take care of yourself. Some bad relationships tends to crush your selfasteem. Guess it's different for everyone what gives a boost. Learning a craft or skill, engaging more socially, getting a job or working out may help. 

Setting clear boundaries and limitations so you don't always allow yourself to be run over by him/her. Allowing insults or other stuff builds a bad kind of tolerance and normalizes it.

If these things are in place, then I think it would be easier to end it or make it stop. 

Hmm... Just some thoughts ❤
 
I wish I could actually contribute, but I'm still looking for those answers. I guess, in my personal case, time is really the only alternative I've found. Time, and a bit of luck. Though I've had a bad track record with luck, past few years. But I'm already doing everything else I can. Wind's bound to change, storm to clear and I hope it'll be smooth sailing in the twilight. Nice, quiet ending is all I wish for now.
 
Richard_39 said:
I wish I could actually contribute, but I'm still looking for those answers. I guess, in my personal case, time is really the only alternative I've found. Time, and a bit of luck. Though I've had a bad track record with luck, past few years. But I'm already doing everything else I can. Wind's bound to change, storm to clear and I hope it'll be smooth sailing in the twilight. Nice, quiet ending is all I wish for now.

I think I got answers or ideas for others. 
I don't have them for myself.
Weird how that stuff works. 😊
 
MissBehave said:
Richard_39 said:
I wish I could actually contribute, but I'm still looking for those answers. I guess, in my personal case, time is really the only alternative I've found. Time, and a bit of luck. Though I've had a bad track record with luck, past few years. But I'm already doing everything else I can. Wind's bound to change, storm to clear and I hope it'll be smooth sailing in the twilight. Nice, quiet ending is all I wish for now.

I think I got answers or ideas for others. 
I don't have them for myself.
Weird how that stuff works. 😊

Lol lots of people are good with that, it seems. Self included.
But I think it's more of a bad habit we develop, tell the truth. Seems to me we should fix us before we fix others. Mechanic's only good at fixing if his mind's in the right place, no? Seems it should apply to our personnal lives as well. At least that's what I've been thinking, last few months. More careful with offering advice now, I ain't exactly an avatar for a healthy person. ;-)
 
Richard_39 said:
MissBehave said:
Richard_39 said:
I wish I could actually contribute, but I'm still looking for those answers. I guess, in my personal case, time is really the only alternative I've found. Time, and a bit of luck. Though I've had a bad track record with luck, past few years. But I'm already doing everything else I can. Wind's bound to change, storm to clear and I hope it'll be smooth sailing in the twilight. Nice, quiet ending is all I wish for now.

I think I got answers or ideas for others. 
I don't have them for myself.
Weird how that stuff works. 😊

Lol lots of people are good with that, it seems. Self included.
But I think it's more of a bad habit we develop, tell the truth. Seems to me we should fix us before we fix others. Mechanic's only good at fixing if his mind's in the right place, no? Seems it should apply to our personnal lives as well. At least that's what I've been thinking, last few months. More careful with offering advice now, I ain't exactly an avatar for a healthy person. ;-)

Haha. Yeah I hear you 😁
I do think that if you are able to separate yourself as much as possible, that you don't give advice that's too much tainted with your own problems. That's hard and it's always going to color your response to a certain extent but.... as little as possible will help. That requires you to go more deeper into the person you are giving advice to, and not focus so much on yourself and your needs. 
You get a hug today. *squeeze you*
 
MissBehave said:
Setting clear boundaries and limitations so you don't always allow yourself to be run over by him/her. Allowing insults or other stuff builds a bad kind of tolerance and normalizes it.
Nipping it in the bud I think it is called.
The only thing I would say is that now I tend to be overreactive. Touchy . easily offended. I used to be easier to get along with. Ive gone from one extreme to the other/ The pendulum needs to swing back to the middle. for me anyway.


Richard_39 said:
 Nice, quiet ending is all I wish for now.

You talking about death?
May I ask you age? Is it too young to be thinking about that just yet?
I suspect my death drive is stronger than my life drive. And that is something that needs serious attention. 
My wife has cancer. She is furiously trying to get as much life as she can in case it takes her over completely.
This worries me. I think we have a responsibility to try to live, to want to live. Even if circumstances are against us. In a way we need to be heroes.
 

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